Posted on 05/07/2008 8:37:27 AM PDT by LikeLight
Are you a joyful bride-to-be? An eager (or nervous!) groom? Perhaps you have a son or daughter getting married this spring or summer? Perhaps a beloved grandchild? Or maybe a lifelong friend? The peak of wedding season is arriving and many of us have a special acquaintance or family member ready to “tie the knot” in a beautiful marriage ceremony of thrilling romance and holy commitment.
So what does any of this have to do with the law? Why am I raising the subject of weddings in my Christian legal column? I’m writing to brides and grooms and those close to them because I want to encourage you to build the strongest possible marriage from the beginning, a marriage built on the solid foundation of God and His Word. And I’m writing because I want to encourage you not to weaken or undermine that sacred foundation by relying on destructive legal “worldly wisdom” that commonly advises you not to get married without first entering a pre-nuptial agreement.
[snip]
In an era of frequent marital break-ups and complex family structures, our cynical culture and most secular lawyers portray anyone getting married without a pre-nup as either foolish or naive. Before the wedding day, we are warned, wise couples should agree in writing what will happen if and when the marriage dissolves. But is there something wrong with this pessimistic advice? Should Christians begin their sacred marriage relationship as if it were just another business deal? Is it healthy for a husband and wife to be forced into negotiating against one another as legal adversaries, each with their own attorneys, in the days or weeks before they are joined as “one flesh” in the eyes of God?
[snip]
(Excerpt) Read more at goodnewsdaily.net ...
I'm learning much on this thread. Can you or another knowledgeable FReeper share more background on this with me? I'm seriously intrigued.
;-)
Usually the terms are written down by a Jewish scribe. They are ornately decorated and usually displayed in the home just like one would display family photos or works of art.
In many cases, no. I'll grant you that. Too many domestic relations attorneys tend to throw gasoline on fires. That's a whole 'nother realm of challenge for those in struggling marriages.
This is another more subtle twist to the problematic attitudes underlying many prenups. Great point. Instead of husband and wife becoming equal, in a spirit of oneness, their differences in status (i.e. power) before the marriage are cemented by the prenup.
You might find it interesting that it was the early Protestant Reformers like Martin Luther that made marriage a civil institution. Later John Calvin and others changed marriage to be of state registration and church consecration. The Puritans who first came to this country believed in only civil marriages. In Massachusetts the Puritans in 1646 passed a law making it a crime for anyone other than a magistrate (a government official) to marry couples.
Before the Reformation civil authorities only handled matters of inheritance and left the institution of marriage almost entirely to the Church. It was not the government that hijacked marriage, but instead it was thrust upon the government by the church.
Yeah, I hear ya. Hope getting out was a good decision for you. What do you do now?
By all means. I'm not advocating that prenups be outlawed or restricted. I'm simply trying to encourage free individuals to consider their own motives and expectations, to prayerfully search their own hearts.
Please allow me to misquote you in order to adapt your statement for the situation of an old high school friend’s situation:
“Anything that removes financial motive from breaking up a marriage has a tendency to undermine divorces. If it is overwhelmingly profitable for half of a couple to terminate the patient (ailing marriage) than to go to the doctor to get treatment (counselors etc.), and there is little or no consequence to the one who terminates the patient - painful, extended death is imminent.”
A friend of mine has achieved the dubious honor of earning enough wealth for his wife to press (and later drop) false charges that got him barred from the home. She told their children that he abused them. She’s dropped ALL the paperwork she originally submitted to gov’t agencies because right now she remains more comfortably ensconced in the marriage home, with him voluntarily taking care of the bills and giving her pocket money upon request, than if she’d sued for child support/alimony/her lawyer paid for by him. She’s agreed to most of his requests related to a divorce settlement and then won’t sign the paperwork when his lawyer passes it on to her. She claims to have sold off the furniture he inherited from his mother last year “to pay the bills.” Meanwhile, she makes him pick up his children at CVS, when she shows up at all.
OBTW, he stands 5’5” in bare feet. She’s 6’ with a black belt in taekwando, and I assure you she’s no shrinking violet. Had he ever laid a hand on her or the kids, she’d have mopped the floor with him.
I used to think they were the perfect match. Who knew she could be so venal? Obviously the marriage is over anyway. But what if, at the outset of their marriage, they had cared enough for their relationship and resulting offspring to prevent financial incentive to divorce?
(Ostensibly I agree with the premise that began this thread. But watching a good man and his innocent children get treated like this ... makes me think. I’ve not yet found my lifelong mate, but now I see there are worse things than being alone.)
That's been the human condition since the beginning. If you read the book of Genesis, it's amazing how the people then acted just exactly like the people now. God understood us then and understands us now, and that's why His wisdom and counsel are still so relevant.
I think I didn’t emphasize the point I was trying to make (entirely my own fault) which isn’t necessarily about salvation or religion.
My remarks had to do with acting and living your life in accordance to a belief structure. You will have a hard time convincing me that John Kerry or Nancy Pelosi are Catholics regardless of what they say.
Amen!
Thank you. I'll check out your links. Much appreciated.
Life begins when the nest empties.
My wife likes to say that grandchildren are our reward for raising savages into responsible adults.
The older ones actually made provision for the dowry (the bride price the groom paid to marry the bride) in case of divorce.
I agree 100% with your husband :-) Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary, and may the next 33 be just as happy!
I think prenups are a good thing. People change. The wonderful Christian man you married may turn into a greedy pig over time. The wonderful Christian woman you married may turn into a sour puss.
It’s ironic I’m saying this since I got married when I was 22 and my hubby was 21. No prenup for us. However, if, G-d forbid, hubby died and I was on the market again, I would get a prenup for the second time around.
Try Dave Ramsey on that one. You'll get an interesting response.
I forgot about the Plastecomy.
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