Posted on 04/28/2008 9:32:24 AM PDT by Mongeaux
Despite all our differences—black and white; young and old; Obama-supporting and sane—one thing binds us together: We all despise college students. And rightfully so, we must add. After all, is anything more annoying than the appalling illiteracy of these self-indulgent, lazy proto-drunkards? We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” collectively think not.
But there is one way you can get back at these obnoxious upper-middle-class acquaintance rapists. You can tease them ceaselessly by composing your own execrable verse in the style of inept collegiate balladry. That is to say, dear reader, you can write a poem in the pathetic manner of today’s self-important college student.
(Excerpt) Read more at hatemongersquarterly.mu.nu ...
Mongeaux, I borrowed your last line with a little change:
America is dry
She is rotten at the roots
She is sucking up all the air
And water
America is dry
America Dry is bad
Canada Dry is good
With booze
America is dry
But Canada Dry is wet
She drinks all day
She is the weewee we are waiting for
Mother Gaia, we cry to thee!
The titmouses and the aardvarks and the wombats, we cry to thee!
And the Spotted Owl
And the Pig Whipworm
And the Articulated Bloodwort
We cry to thee!
Fat-cat Halliburton capitalist pigs
Smoking cigars
Fouling the air with greenhouse gases
Choking the life from the Earth Mother
We cry to thee!
Thirty-six million Iraqi children butchered
Murdered by maddened Mickey Mouse mercenary military monster machine
Mired in the mud of the mines
Whose steel tracks scar the face of the Earth Mother
Like a row of zits
Tearing the glistening, slimy guts out of Mother Gaia
To feed the gaping maw of the furnaces
That power the killing robots
That suck the life of the people like a blood-engorged tick
(Not that ticks don't have a right to live too)
Tracked, steel-jawed monsters that claw at the very flesh of the Earth Mother
Like the one that gooshed Rachel Corrie
Into a puddle of pink goo
Mother Gaia,
We cry to thee!
Death to the Oppressor!
Down with the Patriarchy!
Our diversity is our strength
Dissent is patriotism
And War Is Not The Answer
Mother Gaia
We cry
To
Thee
Che lives!
LOL! I remember the first time I saw the ad "Drink Canada Dry"
I went to Montreal and did my best.
Good stuff - thx kitkat!
Note of warning: don't edit it too much - you might make it good and we don't want that do we?
“It was a dark and stormy primary...”
Suddenly, a shot was thrown back ...
Ok, I figure I got all the dreadful poems I am going to get, but I understand some of you are still whirling the propellers on the mental beanie. So let’s say tomorrow at 12 noon EST I’ll gather all unto me and submit. Time enough? What say ye?
A white sale loomed on the horizon....
“It was a dark and stormy primary...”
Suddenly, a shot was thrown back ...
In the dim media light, all was peaceful
while in the smokey back room,
knives were being sharpened...
Howard Dean, uttered a scream...
“By July or Nevermore”!
“Just one more time?”, quoth the AlGore.
“Nay”. sayeth the Pelosid witch,
“The chosin one is come to bring
hops to the hope less, and chains to
the changeless.”
“Begone ghost of failed electors past...”
“ A new Rat saviour is anointed.”
“Out, OUT! Damned Fosterish spots”.
“I, I am to be Queen, it is ordained
in the book of FBY files. I’ll get you
Oboma and yor little wife toooo.
It was like a twisted nightmare and then I knew...
NO more Welsh Rarebit on election eve.
Tet68
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