61. Smell your own farts.....
Posted on 03/28/2008 11:45:00 PM PDT by bahblahbah
You're not alone, in the dark. While your neighbours get out their rain sticks and hemp shirts, you can amuse yourself
1. Start early. Switch off before the sun sets and soak up the twilight.
2. Go for a walk and see what the neighbours have switched off.
3. Or turn on all the lights in every room and see how long it takes before someone knocks on your door.
4. At which point, you can host an Earth Hour Party: BYO (beeswax!) candle and no plastic cups.
5. One word: Fondue! You get a great meal, no electricity required.
6. Chill your wine outside.
7. Hand-wash your delicates.
8. Harness the combined romance of candlelight and eco-chivalry to pop the question.
9. Dig out your clarinet, ocarina or guitar for an acoustic music night. Practise without looking at your hands.
10. Debate whether one hour can trigger social change.
11. Or just whistle in the dark.
12. Recite memorized poetry.
13. Avoid using anything that requires power. Including batteries.
14. Throw an indoor marshmallow roast (use shish-kebab skewers, mini-marshmallows and a tea light).
15. Go totally 18th-century and play charades by candlelight.
16. Look for stars in the darker night sky, or moon dance.
17. Read a book about the environment.
18. Tell ghost stories. Go down to the basement in a negligee to investigate dark spooky corners.
19. Build a fort out of cushions and blankets (don't take candles inside!).
20. Bust out the Ouija board, host a séance.
21. Dig out your Dungeons and Dragons dice for an atmospheric apocalyptic game.
22. Don't be lame and watch television. You're only going to miss the Habs build a 4-0 lead over the Leafs.
23. Prove to yourself that, yes, you can go 60 minutes without updating your Facebook status.
24. Don't forget fitness. Practise naked yoga.
25. Conserve water. Share a bath.
26. Or go to bed early. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.
27. Consider getting some help if the results of No. 26 only took one minute.
28. Spin a globe to find your next holiday destination.
29. Introduce "Avant-garde Art in the Dark" hour (with a large drop sheet to catch spills).
30. Reject the idea, string yourself in Xmas lights, and walk around as a glowing sculpture.
31. If it's warm, sit on the steps chatting to passersby and comparing notes on living green.
32. Or say to your neighbour, "Dude, this is so Amish."
33. Make streetlight shadow puppets (yes, the streetlights stay on, for safety).
34. Install power bars with on-off switches so you can turn all electricals off at the source when not in use.
35. Designate a weekly "no power hour" for your home.
36. Calculate your annual gas bills. Gasp.
37. Calculate your annual hydro bills. Gasp again. Plan ways to reduce your gas and hydro use.
38. Curse the name of Thomas Edison and damn his tungsten-stained soul to hell.
39. Play dress-up in the dark. Don't wear colour-co-ordinated clothes.
40. If going out, do your makeup by candlelight. It's harder than it seems. Pretend it's eighties punk.
41. Boycott venues that are still switched on.
42. Marvel at an unlit Honest Ed's. Worry about the semi-lit airport.
43. Join a lantern walk in Woodbridge.
44. Catch the train south to watch Niagara Falls go dark for the first time since 2003.
45. Boogie for the planet at the free acoustic concert featuring Nelly Furtado at Nathan Phillips Square.
46. Play with sparklers. Take long-exposure photos of your efforts.
47. Sit in a drumming circle around a candlelit shrine to David Suzuki.
48. Wonder if, at that moment, Parisians are ashamed of their city's nickname. Then laugh at the thought.
49. Soften your ice cream.
50. Pretend you're in Haiti.
51. Join glow-stick soccer games at the Hangar in Downsview Park.
52. Master your origami skills.
53. Invite your neighbours over for a game of Texas Hold 'em.
54. Or scour your home for extraneous packaging you're holding onto and think of ways to reduce it.
55. Put teabag compresses on your eyes.
56. Take your date somewhere discreet and make out.
57. Get busy (yes, again!) and procreate the next generation of resource-sucking bipeds.
58. Start a pool on whether there will be a baby spike in nine months.
59. Hark for sounds of fire engines (see: candle use).
60. Why spoil the fun? Leave the lights out for the rest of the night.
I plan on lighting up my house like a Christmas tree!
64. Find local enviro (weenie,nut) , put him/her out of my misery
65 Burn eco-weenie on bonfire for warmth. Use tallow for candles.
LOL
Book mark, going to be funny night
Sure...don’t go anywhere, sit in the dark, experience no computer, no phone, no cell-phone, no radio, no tv, no washer/dryer, no air-conditioning, no curling iron, no stove, no fridge, no razor, no vacuum cleaner, no stereo, no guitar amp, etc., etc., ad nauseum.
The next day, if you survived without your spouse or kids shooting you, go out and actively support the increase of fossil fuel and nuclear power generating plants.
Eco-chivalry? Man, what kind of testicle-deprived wussbag would pick Earth Hour to pop the question?
After all, it's not a pleasant evening at home until you've involved Satan!
Funny stuff, burning candles and fondue heat produces CO2. Do they know that?
67. Hold your breath for as long as you can. Breathing is not particularly friendly to the environnment, give yourself 2 carbon credits.
68. As a matter of fact, living in general is harmful to the environment, you ought to go to your doctors office as soon as possible and get a vasectomy, give yourself 10 carbon credits.
I’ll celebrate by firing up my spotted owl pellet stove.
I plan to do that, plus turn up my thermostat an extra few degrees, and run my "power-loss backup" propane fireplace. Maybe I can have a "whole-house sauna" for that hour.
We use two electric pots. One for cheese and the other for meats. Open flames burn the contents more often than not.
69: Turn off all lights in house. Go out to camper, and start the 3.5 KW generator. Turn on all lights and appliances in the camper.
I will turn on every light - but I doubt if anyone will come knockin'. I don't think any of my neightbors will care.
'6. Chill your wine outside.'
It wouldn't chill, it would become room temp reallllllll fast.
I read somewhere 95% of CO2 is water vapor - anyone with links to that info?
PS: I'm turning on ALL of my lights at 8pm. Idiots!
70. Don’t forget to turn off your alarm system.
71. Enter the houses of everyone you see observing Earth Hour, turn on all the electrical lights and appliances you can find, and go to the next one.
This one has my vote! I'll turn off the lights, sure... you wanna break in, be prepared to meet Mr. Mossberg and his 00 friends!
This is a pathetic list.
Fire up the grill and mow the yard.
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