Monster-in-Law and the Mother-of-all Eliot messes
by JohnHuang2
In keeping with the Obama campaign’s penchant for breaking new ground on incompetence, now they’re caught comparing Monsterific-Americans to Hillary! Speaking of monsters, Nancy Pelosi was so outraged, she stopped blinking. For at least a minute.
The whole thing started when Obama foreign policy honcho Samantha Power told a U.K. newspaper that “Hillary is a monster — she is stooping to anything! You just look at her and think, ‘Urgh!’ The amount of deceit she has put forward is really unattractive.” The skank — Samantha, not Hillary — subsequently apologized and got fired.
Then Hillary responded with this: “I think that it’s important to look at what she and his other advisors say behind closed doors, particularly when they’re talking to foreign governments and foreign press. It raises disturbing questions about what the real planning and policy positions inside the Obama campaign happen to be.”
Obama then responds to Hillary’s attack on Obama by attacking Hillary: “If Senator Clinton wants to talk about issues of transparency and vetting, then I think it’s important for her to release her tax returns as I have . . . “
Clinton foreign policy honcho Jamie Rubin then issues a blistering response: Obama “can’t seem to run a foreign policy team the way it’s suppose to run . . . “ it’s “amateur hour on making foreign policy!”
But Obama campaign manager David Plouffe was on the warpath: Hillary “is one of the most secretive politicians in America today! You have to wonder whether she’ll be open and honest with the American people as president!”
But — Howard Wolfson had already stung the Obamatrons with this: “Senator Obama was confronted with questions over whether he was ready to be commander in chief and steward of the economy, he chose not to address those questions but to attack Senator Clinton, and that’s what we’re pointing out. And I, for one, do not believe that imitating Ken Starr is the way to win a Democratic primary election for president! But perhaps that theory will be tested.”
Obama responds! Hillary “doesn’t have standing to question my position on this issue!”
Wolfson hits back: “Faced with many legitimate questions about Senator Obama’s long-time relationship with indicted political fixer Tony Rezko, the Obama campaign has chosen to lash out at Senator Clinton!”
Then Obama lashes back! “If [Hillary] continues . . . to bring up real estate transactions and the character of our supporters who have provided donations to our campaign, then we will make certain that she has to answer those same questions with respect to herself, her husband and her campaign!”
Then Hillary piles on! “When there’s a crisis, when that phone rings, whether it’s 3 p.m. or 3 a.m., in the White House there is no time for speeches or on-the-job-training.” You tell him, Hillary!
Ha! Not so fast — Obama hits back: “. . . what exactly is this foreign policy experience that she’s claiming? I know she talks about visiting 80 countries . . . what is she negotiating treaties, agreements, or handling crisises during this period of time? My sense is the answer is no!” You tell her, Obama!
Then Obama aide Susan Rice delivers the coup de grace: “Clinton hasn’t had to answer the phone at 3 o’clock in the morning, and yet she attacked Barack Obama for not being ready — they’re both not ready to have that 3 a.m. phone call.”
With that decisive blow, let me tell you something: For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of the Democrat Party! Obama and Hillary both have a point — neither one is qualified. Obama says he will fix Afghanistan by invading the wrong country (Pakistan), pull out of Iraq, re-invade Iraq if he finds out ‘al-Qaeda in Iraq’ establishes a base in Iraq that they already have, then try to convince Ahmadinejad the Holocaust really happened.
If this makes little sense, it’s the sum total of Obama’s foreign policy expertise accumulated during the 30 minutes he’s been senator. On the other hand, ballsy and resolute Hillary says she will fight them in the air, fight them on the beaches, fight them in the hills — she will never ever surrender to the GOP!
Her idea of defeating McCain is to put two losers on the same ticket — and call it the “Dream Ticket”. But with her and Obama neck and neck, the idea for her to climb on top of him on the ballot isn’t going over well with the Obamatrons, with 52 percent of them opposing this position, according to Gallup. So the stultifying ‘You’re an ugly monster! Oh yeah? You’re a plagiarist! Oh yeah? You’re a tax cheat! Oh yeah? You’re Ken Starr!’ back-and-forth threatens to drag on — thank goodness!
Neither one can run on his or her dazzling accomplishments — don’t have any. Neither one can run on character — don’t have any. Neither one can run a lemon aid stand. So you’ve got a race versus gender-pimping free-for-all and the endgame on the floor of the convention, Hilldebeast having sketched out an ambitious plan to drive a stake through the center of Obama’s delegate math by racking up a bigger popular vote.
And while we’re on the subject of driving stakes through hearts, with regards to New York governor Eliot Spitzer, Client 9 in room 871, I’m not going to pile on, not going to gloat in any way.
“This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multitiered management structure,” the prosecutor said in a statement. “It was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring, and now its owners and operators will be held accountable!” — oops, that was Eliot Spitzer speaking, back in April, 2004, attorney general at the time, announcing the arrest of “eighteen men and women . . . on charges that they helped run a sophisticated prostitution ring that masked its operation behind a series of corporate fronts and escort services with names like Gentlemen’s Delight, Day Dreams and Personal Touch” (New York Times, 4/8/04). The prostitution ring was run out of Staten Island. Spitzer charged 16 of them with “enterprise corruption and two others with falsifying business records and promoting prostitution and money laundering” — or, as Spitzer might call it, engaging in “private matters”.
Am I going to gloat? No. I’m not even going to raise the issue of how ‘tireless crusader’ Spitzer rode into town vowing to overhaul Albany, end all “shocking” and “criminal” “betrayals of the public trust”, see off the culture of corruption, it’s “pay-to-play politics” and usher in an era of wonderfully clean government with no more “unqualified cronies” — that would be gloating, so I won’t mention any of it.
Spitzer as attorney general really went after Dick Grasso, former chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, prying into his private matters, getting his unqualified cronies to dredge up dirt on whether Grasso had a child out of wedlock or was sleeping with the office help, all of it under the cover of Spitzer’s fictional lawsuit alleging Grasso was being overpaid as NYSE chairman, supposedly violating the exchange’s (at the time) not-for-profit status — but my lips are sealed about this too, since I’m not gloating.
Now it’s clear why Spitzer said he saw “betrayals of the public trust” everywhere, since he was probably committing most of them. As attorney general and then as governor White Knight, Client 9 racked up so many enemies, he had to turn to big-ticket hookers to find love on Valentine’s Day. Spitzer got caught on a wiretap trying to arrange a meeting with “Kristen” to discuss Spitzer’s $4,300 Economic Stimulation Package. But am I going to mention any of this? No.
Puh-leeze. If I were gloating, wouldn’t I mention how Mr. Moral Crusader, the same chap who trashed everybody’s financial dealings and nuked reputations for kicks, is now reduced to apologizing to the public for paying a hooker big bucks and bargaining with prosecutors to stay out of the pokey?
Topping it all off, it’s often said that it’s not the act itself but what follows up afterward — the reaching for the cigarette. It’s a problem if you Google “anti-big tobacco lawsuits” and the name Eliot Spitzer pops up.
With Cackles and Obama neck and neck, a wonderfully moving ending would be for Superdelegate Eliot Spitzer to cast the deciding vote on the floor of the convention — for Hillary! From ‘one man, one vote,’ to ‘one Super-client, one vote.’ Heh, heh, heh! Oops, wasn’t gloating — honest, I wasn’t!
Anyway, that’s...
My Two Cents
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