A Heartfelt Appeal for a Graceful Exit (Right to Die)

The New York Times ^ | February 5, 2008 | JANE E. BRODY

[SubGeniusX]

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Suicide Clothing

^{* I have this shirt.}

[fanfan]

Thanks for the ping.

[Paul Heinzman]

the word suicide is not in the Bible..

I know. I don't know of a reference that indicates that suicide is a sin. "Thou shall not kill" is as close as it comes, but the more accurate translation is "Thou shall not murder."

Suicide is a hard thing for the loved ones; it hurts. One of my best friends went through it with his grandfather. The guy was an avid outdoorsman, hunter, tough but kind. He was diagnosed with cancer -- I can't remember what kind, but it was terminal and painful.

He killed himself. It wasn't out of fear. It was to save his family from having to take care of him.

My friend had a hard time with this. He told me that his grandfather took the coward's way. I told him he did what he did to spare his wife, children and grandchildren the pain of seeing him waste away and die begging for morphine.

I hope I told this story right; it happened almost 20 years ago. My friend's grandfather did not commit a sin in leaving this world. He sacrificed himself for the sake of his family.

[Caramelgal]

The decision to end a terminal illness with the assistance of a physician should be left to the doctor and the patient.

And to the families.

Within two years of each other, both my parents suffered devastating illnesses that left them on artificial life support and ultimately without any chance of recovery.

Contrary to the depiction of doctors and hospitals being part of the “cult of death” and rather than being quick to “pull the plug”, it was my family’s experience that the doctors at this hospital (Johns Hopkins) fought very hard and valiantly to save their lives, exhausting every medical possibility before they were even willing to discuss end of life decisions with us.

It was almost to the point that they took death as a personal affront to their abilities and really didn’t want to give up the good fight. But there sometimes comes a time when, while modern medicine and technology can keep a body alive, there is really no life or quality of life left to live.

In my mother’s case, she had a severe, sudden and idiopathic case of Pancreatitis. She spent over two weeks in a coma and on a ventilator and on dialysis as her pancreas, as the doctors described to us, was pumping so much toxins into her body that her pancreas and other internal organs that they were literally dissolving and there was nothing they could do to stop it and even if they could, there was so much damage already done that she would most likely never come out of the ICU, never get off of life support and even if she came out of her coma, she would suffer greatly, much pain and would ultimate die any way.

Her family and my father, who loved her so very much and wanted her with us always, met with her caring and compassionate doctors, and together, we made the very difficult but merciful decision to remove her from life support.

I don’t doubt that she was given pain killers that not only helped relive any pain or distress she might have been feeling, but that those drugs may have also hastened the death process.

In less than two years after my mother’s death, my father, who had many health problems, came down with a case of decease resistant bacterial pneumonia. He was on a ventilator and in a coma for more than eight weeks and I was at his bedside every day.

Again the doctors did everything they could but they couldn’t reverse the course of the decease but could at best, only delay it.

As he had Advanced Directives and a Living Will and many conversations with me and my brother after my mother’s death, we knew his wishes and intentions. Even with his intentions known and legally documented, that didn’t mean that his doctors and the hospital gave up on him until they had first exhausted all reasonable medical means.

When my father was removed from life support, I am sure that like my mother, he was given pain killers that not only helped relive any pain or distress she might have been feeling, but that those drugs may have also hastened the death process.

Do I see this as euthanasia? No. I see it as a terminal illness being allowed to take its natural and inevitable course and if the pain killers and other drugs make that inevitable course less painful, even if it hastens the process, it is a more merciful option than keeping a person alive in a physical sense just because we can.

I agree; it’s not the government’s business one way or another. Doctors and families should never be pressured to end life before its time, nor should the government pressure doctors and families to keep a body alive past the point of medical or ethical reasonableness.

In contrast, my mother-in-law, a Medicare patient with no Advanced Directives or Living will was kept alive even in a persistent vegetative state after a severe stroke and shifted from one facility to another without our consent. She spent over four years in this condition and it was the government and her Medicare doctors that put in a feeding tube against our wishes (and hers).

She spent the last years of her life in a rigid fetal position, with bed sores and numerous infections, unaware and unresponsive. Her doctors rarely saw her nor would they talk to us about her case and when they did, they quoted rules and regulations rather than talking about her as a patient or a human being.

There was nothing life affirming or merciful about those last years of her life.

From my experiences, I don’t trust the government to make the right decision for me or my loved ones.

[Chickensoup]

My point was....Why do you require that another person participate in your suicide?

And why run to the press about it?

Because this is social and political drama. The left has its ideas.

[SuziQ]

He suggested to her, not entirely in jest, that she move to Oregon or the Netherlands, where physician-assisted suicide is legal.

Now there's a loving son! /s

Why doesn't he done do something to make his mother's final years a little happier? If she has trouble hearing music, get her an MP3 player and some good quality headphones. If she likes books, get some for her to read, or get some audio books for her. Take her out in her wheelchair a few times a week. Bring her grandchildren and great-grandchildren by to visit. If she's not exerting herself, her A-Fib shouldn't be a problem.

[SuziQ]

As I stated before there is a HUGE difference between PAS and State sponsored euthanasia.

If I'm not mistaken, the Netherlands started with PAS, and has slowly devolved into State Sponsored Euthanisia.

Changing how the medical establishment and Insurance companies treat pain medication would go a long way toward making sick peoples' lives a LOT better. The idea of denying pain medication for people dying of cancer is ridiculous, if the reason is that they might get hooked on it. For goodness sake, they won't LIVE long enough to get hooked! Give them some relief for the little time they might have left!

[TASMANIANRED]

Full agreement.

[Nachoman]

Maybe someone could refer her to Heath Ledger’s doctor.

[Richard Kimball]

Some people really want to commit suicide, some don't. I've had a couple of times that I thought I was going to die and I figured out that when Death is six blocks down and four blocks over, I'm not scared of Death. When he's standing right next to you, he's one big SOB.

I had a friend that went off the deep end and tried to kill himself several times. I went to see him, talked to him, told him to call me and did everything I could. Finally, he finished the job off. Apparently, he really wanted to die. I think this lady is hurting, missing her husband, and wants to leave, but when it comes down to actually overdosing on pills, pulling the trigger, or sitting in the car with the engine running and the garage door closed, as my friend did, death's just as scary at 93 as it is at 40. I don't think this lady really wants to die. She wants to be young, and not hurt, and have her husband back.

[TASMANIANRED]

I’m in agreement with you. Sad, hurting lady.

I’ve seen more deaths than I ever expected to..

But if you really want to do it...You shouldn’t expect someone else to do the job...

[swmobuffalo]

“She spent the last years of her life in a rigid fetal position, with bed sores and numerous infections, unaware and unresponsive. Her doctors rarely saw her nor would they talk to us about her case and when they did, they quoted rules and regulations rather than talking about her as a patient or a human being.

There was nothing life affirming or merciful about those last years of her life.

From my experiences, I don’t trust the government to make the right decision for me or my loved ones.”

This is what people won’t see and won’t “discuss”. I don’t want to live that way and no one should have the “right” to make me. Certainly not the government.

[Crim]

“Maybe someone could refer her to Heath Ledger’s doctor.”

*snicker*

[Richard Kimball]

But if you really want to do it...You shouldn’t expect someone else to do the job...

Absolutely.

[8mmMauser]

Pinged from Terri Dailies

8mm

[MEGoody]

“I’ve lived a happy life, but from here on out it’s all downhill.

It's called aging. . .God's way of weaning us from this world.

Is there any point in my living any longer?

Yes. You can be a prayer warrior if you can't do anything else.

I’m not living — just existing.

That's your choice, ma'am.

[MEGoody]

Anybody who can lift a frying pan owns death!

I'm sure this 93 year old woman is on so many medications now, that she could easily end her life if that is what she really wanted to do.

[TenthAmendmentChampion]

I just discoverd that I have high blood pressure and a kidney condition. Both are treatable, but since in “years past” would have succumbed and died probably by age 65, I suppose I should tell my nephrologist tomorrow to forget treatment and let nature take its course. I won’t be a burden on Social Security at least.

[Route66]

I’m sure she could have already ended her life, too. Very often, the elderly and the sick are given the impression they just need to go and they feel they should help their loved ones out by doing it. Maybe she just wants to be assured that she is still loved and appreciated despite her age and infirmities.

Instead of telling his mother he loved her and he did not want her to die, her son told her to move to Oregon or the Netherlands so she could get someone to help her do it. I would never say that to someone I loved. I think I know what this woman is lacking and what she is really asking for.

[MEGoody]

I would never say that to someone I loved.

I agree completely. Instead of trying to encourage her to kill herself, her family should be doing what they can to make her life worth living. But that's too much trouble for those involved in the 'me first' culture.