Billy Dee! Billy Dee!
I'm not certain how 'real' the above article is. Spitzer is really proposing a tax on the Malt beverages.
Billy Dee! Billy Dee!
I'm not certain how 'real' the above article is. Spitzer is really proposing a tax on the Malt beverages.
Gotta luv them poor taxes.
Damn Indians had to sue it out of existence.
Ah, if I’d only invested the beer money.....
“I’m already breaking the bank to enjoy the distinct taste of Colt 45,” admitted Chad, a self-proclaimed “Colt 45 man.” “If the price goes up any higher, I’ll have to switch to Silver Thunder or Steel Reserve. It’s not like I’d want to. But if I kept slugging Colt at those prices, I’d be living way beyond my means (in a pop-up behind my sister’s) and that would just be irresponsible.”
Comments like that leave no room for your humble satirist to operate. Every ounce of comedic potential has already been wrung out of this situation, by Chad himself.
Remember “Cold Cock” from SNL:
Spokesman: You know, when I entertain, occasionally my friends and I like to discuss just what is the best malt licquor.
Girl #1: I say Bull.
Girl #2:I say Cobra.
Spokesman: And I say it’s all just talk. Unless it’s the one they call.. Coldcock.
[ cut to Man at Party standing near piano ]
Man at Party: There’s only one malt liquor that’ll get your head humming.
Spokesman: [ enters ] Coldcock’s the one you’ll never see coming. [ opens can and hands it to the Man at Party ]
[ Man at Party sips Coldcock, then holds it in front of him. Suddenly, an animated arm jumps off of the can and punches the Man in the chin ]
Man at Party: [ reeling ] Pro-per!
Partygoers: [ whispery ] Coldcock!
Spokesman: I have yet to meet the man that can finish a whole Coldcock can.
Woman at Party: [ steps forward ] I ain’t afraid of no can of beer! Give me one! [ sips the malt liquor ] Mmm.. Coldcock.. [ the arm jumps off the can and socks her in the jaw ] Ooh..! You one malt liquor picker!
Spokesman: Like I said - it’s all just talk, unless it’s the one they call Coldcock. [ takes a sip of his own, then flinches upon expecting the punch. He smiles at his own cunning, as the arm finally jumps off the can and punches him hard across his chin ] Fan-tas-tic.. [ slowly drops to the floor ]
Announcer: Coldcock. You never see it coming.
Spokesman: [ raises head up from the floor ] Damn. That’s one strong malt liquor. [ drops his head to the floor again ]
“...should still expand Colt 45’s market-share to include really-poor consumers, making up for the loss of the painfully-poor consumers who will be forced to get bent on less-expensive brands.”
Nothing quite like objective reporting.
Oh Yeah!
Haven't thought about him in ages. Was he hot or what? In "Lady Sings the Blues" he could melt celluloid.
