“I’m already breaking the bank to enjoy the distinct taste of Colt 45,” admitted Chad, a self-proclaimed “Colt 45 man.” “If the price goes up any higher, I’ll have to switch to Silver Thunder or Steel Reserve. It’s not like I’d want to. But if I kept slugging Colt at those prices, I’d be living way beyond my means (in a pop-up behind my sister’s) and that would just be irresponsible.”
Comments like that leave no room for your humble satirist to operate. Every ounce of comedic potential has already been wrung out of this situation, by Chad himself.
Don’t you know that Chad has to blow off a little steam after selling those cell phones all day for Altel.