Posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer
Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.
This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.
Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.
1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.
Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:
"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"
The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.
Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."
I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.
You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.
2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."
The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.
3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.
We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.
Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.
4. Don't trust everything your girlfriend tells you.
Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.
And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.
5. You don't always have to be talking.
Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.
6. Don't make us carry you through life.
We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.
Lastly,
When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.
Mayb the dog is a better companion to your wife than you are? Just a thought.
It doesn't talk back. It licks her hand. It cuddles her when she feels needy and clingy. Its perky and fun.
Enjoy that fantasy. This is precisely the type of crap that fueled the feminist revolution.
Pay attention to your wife/girlfriends emotional needs. They are as real to her as your physical needs are to you. You ignore them/belittle them at your peril.
I have a good male friend who when I get a certain look on my face will ask, "What are you thinking?" then shake his head and laugh, "I'm not supposed to ask that."
He said that many times when a woman asks a man that it's usually nothing more profound than I wonder what I'll have for lunch tomorrow...
Particularly when she says your guy is a loser and you can do better. Perhaps you can. Very many women I know are bitter because they dumped their guy and now discover that nobody as good as him has any interest in middle-aged women with kids
sounds exactly like my brothers ex-wife....she was perfect like that until she fell in with some so-called christian organization that preached the evils that men do. they even had a divorce lawyer in their little church ( after she attended for 3 months, the divorce papers were served by the little church’s lawyer )....
Kinky, thanks.....
‘What are you thinking?’ Female here. I was still a teenager when I asked my first long-term boyfriend that a few times and was astounded, I mean completely flabbergasted, to find out that often he wasn’t really thinking of anything at all. (No one in my family was like that.)
My eyes opened about the possible nature of the other sex, I’ve not asked that question for a couple of decades now. Truth be told, however, there are men who are always thinking, usually in an interesting way, and there’s no need to ask them that question.
This little video is spot-on but yet very very funny.
http://marriageresourcecenter.org/videogallery/4/med/VideoWidget8.htm
Well,that says it all.They ALL do that when you're "going out" with them.
Women tend to not realize that, as long as she's enjoyable company and has a reasonably high libido, she doesn't need to be a supermodel to hold our attention. Television and movies feed this insecurity.
It definitely looks like she's decided she wants you to decide she's the one for you
“My wife used to ask me that a lot. I started always answering, “About sex.” Now she hardly ever asks :)”
My wife thought that was funny.
Find a woman who will either hunt with you or go on quests with you. Very hard in today's world - I understand.
Also always remember that women are like buses. There will be another one along in a few minutes and the signs may be better and it may be cleaner, however, it could be dirtier and belch black smoke.
Took me until I was almost 30 to find that woman and that has been along time ago and we are still married and both happy in our choices.
Lastly most real dream women are rarely found in bars.
"Show me a shrew of a wife and I'll show you a nincompoop of a husband."
I couldn't sleep and was thinking about writing this for a while -- so I did. Many a truth is spoken in jest, never-the-less, it is still jest. Relax noone is out to get you or the female species.
In fact, your responses hint at part of the problem men have with women.
SImilarly when a woman dumps her man at the advice of a close girlfriend only to find out that her close friend is now screwing him.
I’m SURE you will get bored with her.
Also, she WILL change once you say I do.
The saying goes something like this-
Marriages fail because a man marries a girl that he hopes will NEVER change and she marries a man she hopes WILL change.
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