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The Chuckabee Facts ("Fact: Chuck Norris is so painful to watch that...")
idsnews.com ^ | 1/8/2008 | Chase Cooper

Posted on 01/08/2008 8:59:38 PM PST by DogByte6RER

The Chuckabee facts

Chase Cooper

IDS

1/8/2008

Chuck Norris doesn’t endorse – he tells America how it’s gonna be.” So says Mike Huckabee , anyway, in a campaign ad featuring his biggest endorser, Chuck Norris. In the ad, Norris and Huckabee, who is known increasingly in conservative circles as the “Huckster,” go back and forth for 60 agonizing seconds telling “facts” about each other, performing a skit patterned after the “Chuck Norris facts” seen in Facebook groups and chain e-mails. Here are a few “Huck Chuck facts” that you may not know about:

Fact: Chuck Norris is so corny that ethanol producers believe him to be a vast, untapped source of alternative energy.

Fact: Mike Huckabee calls himself a Republican, but functionally he’s a pro-life Democrat. He’s a big government, tax-and-spend proponent of the Nanny State, who supports a nationwide smoking ban, government-sponsored wellness programs and more government regulation of private industries, such as minimum wage increases. He also has a grossly liberal record on illegal immigration.

Fact: Chuck Norris is so painful to watch that nine out of 10 Americans would rather take a roundhouse kick to the face from him than sit through an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger.”

Fact: Mike Huckabee granted over 1,000 pardons and commutations during his 10 years as governor – roughly one clemency every four days. In 17 years, Huckabee’s three predecessors – which included Bill Clinton, by the way – granted only 507 clemencies combined. The Huckster’s clemency recipients included violent criminals who reputedly “got religion” in prison. Should this man have the power of the presidential pardon?

Fact: Chuck Norris is so pathetic that Jack Bauer tracked and killed him in only 21 hours, then took a three-hour nap.

Fact: According to the Arkansas Leader newspaper, Mike Huckabee, while governor of Arkansas, raised more taxes than Bill Clinton did while governor of Arkansas. His tax record is so bad that even the members of the Arkansas Republican Assembly chose to endorse Fred Thompson rather than Huck. When the Club for Growth, a prominent conservative anti-tax organization, sharply criticized his tax record, Huckabee responded by calling them the “Club for Greed.” There’s nothing greedy about the concept that the money you’ve earned belongs to you.

Fact: Chuck Norris is such a bad actor that even Keanu Reeves flips the channel whenever he sees Chuck on TV.

Fact: Mike Huckabee has little to no foreign policy experience. When confronted with this fact in an interview with Don Imus on Dec. 4, the Huckster stated, “I may not be the expert that some people are on foreign policy, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.” If he likes Holiday Inn Express so much, I’d much rather he sleep there than at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Fact: A Huckabee nomination would be disastrous to the conservative movement, the Republican Party and the United States of America, and the Democrats would almost certainly take the White House, regardless of who they nominate. If conservatism is to be advanced in the next four years, the Republican Party needs to chuck Huck – soon.


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Editorial; Politics/Elections; US: Arkansas; US: Texas
KEYWORDS: 2008; 2008election; 2008elections; 2016election; arkansas; chucknorris; clueless; election2008; election2016; elections; huckabee; huckster; mikehuckabee; nannystate; rino; texas; walkertexasranger
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To: WOSG
lol. Where were you when the Mitt-bashers were blaming Mitt for court-ordered gay marriage, need that explanation that court orders arent to by defied...

I've never bashed Mitt, and if the court ordered him to do something, and he had exhausted his legal remedies, I'd understand that he has to comply with the court order. That is how our system works.

I've been watching Huckabee a lot longer and more closely than the newly self-proclaimed "experts" here. For the last couple of years, I've been telling the forum that Huckabee would be a strong candidate in Iowa, and nobody believed it. The talking points that you are relying on now for Huck-bashing were tailored to be misleading, but like a lot of other people here, you bought it too - hook, line and sinker.

Personally, I favor Fred Thompson's tax reform plan, but I will set the record straight about Huckabee's record here: He is a conservative Republican who wants drastic tax reform.

101 posted on 01/09/2008 9:37:56 AM PST by HAL9000 (Fred Thompson/Mike Huckabee 2008)
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To: numberonepal
I thought you were all for strong 10th Amendment support.

I am. How do you think there get to be amendments?

Besides, even before the present Constitution, the United States of America was founded upon our Creator endowed Right to Life.

Courts that do not recognize this are flatly mistaken.

102 posted on 01/09/2008 10:44:13 AM PST by unspun (God save us from egos -- especially our own.)
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To: ElkGroveDan

Reply #7 is truly profound!!! I sincerely hope EVERYBODY ON FR scrolls back up and reads it!!! (especially the Cauleeforneeuns)


103 posted on 01/09/2008 1:03:29 PM PST by SierraWasp (IA caucuss goers just gave us Jimmy Carter II and Jimmy Carter III. God save the USA!!! Please!!!)
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To: Antoninus
"Replace "Huckster" in that sentence with "Flip Romney" and you get the same result. Worse, because there were 30,000 fewer Republicans in Massachusetts after Flip left office."

I know. It's the same question I ask of the Joe Isuzu Romney bots. Neither one has ever answered the question. That's the real test of leadership of a Governor. Both Huckster and Romney were miserable failures on an epic scale. Both states will take years to recover from their "leadership."

104 posted on 01/09/2008 1:13:49 PM PST by fieldmarshaldj (~~~Jihad Fever -- Catch It !~~~ (Backup tag: "Live Fred or Die"))
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To: HAL9000

While a request was made to shut the school system down, that would NOT have happened. In fact, to me - it seems that such a request would actually be a opposite of what the case was suppose to really be about - providing a quality education to “ALL” the children of Arkansas....

And according to the former judge that I know who was a special master in the case - there was no danger of the schools actually being shut down.

But yes, the request was made.


105 posted on 01/09/2008 2:03:57 PM PST by TheBattman (LORD God, please help us to elect a Godly and patriotic man for President in 08, Amen.)
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To: TheBattman
And according to the former judge that I know who was a special master in the case - there was no danger of the schools actually being shut down.

That's probably a reasonable conjecture, but the courts can be unpredictable. Thanks for your insight into the case.

106 posted on 01/09/2008 3:03:10 PM PST by HAL9000 (Fred Thompson/Mike Huckabee 2008)
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To: HAL9000

talking points that you are relying on now for Huck-bashing were tailored to be misleading


Thanks for that. It seems that there is too much being said against Huckabee for no other reason that he wears his Christianity on his sleeve.


107 posted on 01/09/2008 6:49:12 PM PST by eleni121 (+ En Touto Nika! By this sign conquer! + Constantine the Great)
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