Posted on 01/02/2008 12:03:03 PM PST by rollingthunder2006
Of course, there is much to disdain about The New Rules of Marriage, but what offended me most was its pervasive celebration of inequality amongst the sexes. Women want more out of relationships today so…men must give it to them. Why is that the case? In every equitable transaction, the side who asks for more must offer more in exchange. This leads us to ask, what do modern women offer men that is superior to what their predecessors proffered in the past?......
(Excerpt) Read more at mensnewsdaily.com ...
Who said anything about the man being subservient? Well, other than you.
Sorry you have a problem with the wording honey-do. To me it simply is a term used to denote a chore I as a female can’t do. So I can either have honey do it or I can hire outside help if honey refuses.
You’re darned prickly about quite alot. Honey-do banned as if anyone could force you to take care of a chore if you refused. You have a problem with the date night concept as if taking your wife out away from the home on a 3-4 hour mini-vacation is somehow wrong. You do realize most people don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t want to be where they are. I would no more demand a date night or company when shopping than I’d go to the moon. I don’t want someone around who’s there only because it was demanded. I want them to want to be there with me.
Grown men can get into trouble in their own house when they do incredibly stupid things. Being self-centered to the point you become blind to the unhappiness you create by your actions will get you into trouble everytime. Why? Because it wreaks havoc with the marriage relationship and breeds unspoken resentment. Can the wife get into trouble? Yes, she can if she becomes self-centered.
Being a hard-ass doesn’t garner you respect and from your posts it appears you respond best to entreaty and begging from your wife. Do you give your wife any authority within the home or the family or must she always be subservient to you? Does she have to wait on your ruling when a child may need discipline or does she have the authority to discipline the child? Does she need your permission to rearrange a few decorative items? Does she have to ask for approval of her meal plan? Where do you draw the line as to how subservient your wife has to be to you? Wouldn’t you rather have her operate under wanting to please you because it makes you happy rather than blind obedience to your dominance?
I don’t wish to be married to a tyrant and that’s how you’re coming across to me. I don’t want a panty-waist either. In the process I’m not going to be a doormat just because some man places a higher value on subservience than he does respect, love and courtesy.
And yes, I didn’t follow my own rule about reading all posts before choosing to respond. So feel free to beat me up intellectually as well as emotionally where you can feel dominant and superior.
Guys... listen to yourselves. This is really pathetic.
Good night. I don’t have time or skill to help you achieve a healthy outlook on the opposite sex, but I do wish you the best.
I did better than that, I copied about 100 recipes from my mothers recipe box nd brought them with me.
Actually it should be Dudette...but that’s OK. We agree on the one sidedness of commercial TV. :)
>>>Guys... listen to yourselves. This is really pathetic.<<<<
Was there a fact in there somewhere that I missed? Or were you just switching to emotional arguement that I cannot win?
OK, Its the end of the day, I’m the a==hole. Thats how it is supposed to be, right?
And neither do I. If I needed someone who felt it necessary to tell me constantly what I should wear, what I should eat, where I should be and what I should be doing, I would join the Army. They do all that.
Unfortunately, so many women turn into control-freaks that they believe they have free reign to control those aspects of our lives. Some men do it too (usually with bad results) and some men actually *want* women to handle those things, but I don't. It's demeaning and belittling to presume men can't dress themselves or feed themselves without a woman's help.
I put in my body what I want to put in my body. I throw over my body what I want to throw over my body. I give part of my day to the wishes of others in order to draw a paycheck and please those I'm desirous to please but, otherwise, I go where I choose and do what I choose. I have no interest in being monitored or controlled, even by someone whose intentions are well-meant.
That's not to say I'm not appreciative if somebody cooks for me or cleans for me or takes an interest in me. I will gladly and generously reciprocate in most situations. But I'm quite self-sufficient and independant. I'd rather have a partner than a handler, yet too many women think it's their job to be lion-tamer rather than domestic partner. The latter involves a level of trust that many women, bombarded with media images of infidelity and addictions to fuel their suspicions, refuse to grant men.
Honey, you can’t apparently even win an argument about what color the sky is, even when you make up your opponent. I’m sorry, but that’s hardly my fault ;~)
My apologies..Dudette.
Oh yeah, that makes sense. You win!
Not a problem. :)
not necessarily a bad thing for men who don't want a wife and children to not marry...too many men get married because its the expected thing and they become lousy husbands and lousy fathers.....
don't marry and have children unless you are committed to the values of marriage and children....
that means no more porn, no more late night carousing...not more spending on big boy toys when the rent is due...
same rules for women...
you want your wife arranging her dates with her girlfriends and expect you to stay home and watch the kids without even asking you?..
my father would never leave the house unless my mom felt she could handle things....I've been married over 30 yrs and not once has my husband not checked with me about most things....just like I check with him....
that's called MARRIAGE.....
Don’t come home to that...you don’t need a wife nor a family nor a home...what you need is a MOTHER...so go home to Mommy and be happy, because you sound like a mama’s boy to me...I’ll bet your mom ironed your underwear, now didn’t she?
what?
>>>that means no more porn, no more late night carousing...not more spending on big boy toys when the rent is due...<<<
Hey, if you got those problems, you need to leave your man and quit trying to change him into someone he is not.
That mentality is what I am talking about. Why do you say only men like porn? Even if the man wants to look at it but his loving wife now makes it impossible. That sounds like a real attractive deal. I’ll bet he can’t wait to get home to his loving wife. Do you know where he would rather be?
Only men stay out late because they are irresponsible idiots. Only men buy “whatever kinda toys” because only men don’t care about the rent.
Sounds like that “man” wasn’t ready to get married and wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility that MEN should have and you need to find a MAN instead of trying to change another.
Has it ever accured to you that some men pay the rent? Some men actually be men and take control of the responsibilities and handle the money and are more responsible than the women. OHHHH no. Men are idiots and women must set us straight and narrow because we are too big of idiots to be MEN, responsible for families and households.
You don’t tell a man to do that stuff. If a man does that stuff, then YOU leave. Don’t try to tell the man he can’t do it.
This may be a stupid question, but why not post a thread of your own to give us guys a taste of our own medicine? I'm sure that somewhere on the internet a female writer has commented on some of our less flattering tendencies...or you could put something together yourself :)
Shamefully I must admit that I have a kind of perverse, Jerry Springer-esque attraction to these threads. It would be very interesting and very enlightening (for both sides) to see the roles reversed.
Women generally rule the world because they have half the money and all of the...well booty.
I've never really liked that expression. On one level, it suggests that a man's only concern in a relationship is sexual gratification.
But even beyond that, it suggests to women that the proper thing to do is to withhold sex so you can get a man to commit to you. I respect a woman who abstains out of self-respect or for religious reasons, but to use it as a relationship strategy is cheap and manipulative.
Commitment should come as a result of a man's admiration, love, and respect. It shouldn't come about as a result of his physical desperation.
The problem is that withholding sex to get a marriage commitment is not a sound strategy for women because too many other women provide sex without the commitment.
A guy told me once a story that during his courtship with a chaste woman, he found himself in an encounter with an attractive blonde. She agreed to go to bed with him and they got naked together whereupon she began puking all over the sheets. That, of course, ruined the moment.
He confided years later that, had the sex been good he probably would have dumped the girlfriend and began dating the blonde. Instead, he married the chaste girlfriend who later cheated on him with a minor and then sued him for divorce (but that's another story...).
The point being, I think there is more pressure on women to have sex before commitment than use withholding sex to get a commitment. Many know they risk losing the guy if they say no too long.
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