Who said anything about the man being subservient? Well, other than you.
Sorry you have a problem with the wording honey-do. To me it simply is a term used to denote a chore I as a female can’t do. So I can either have honey do it or I can hire outside help if honey refuses.
You’re darned prickly about quite alot. Honey-do banned as if anyone could force you to take care of a chore if you refused. You have a problem with the date night concept as if taking your wife out away from the home on a 3-4 hour mini-vacation is somehow wrong. You do realize most people don’t want to be around someone who doesn’t want to be where they are. I would no more demand a date night or company when shopping than I’d go to the moon. I don’t want someone around who’s there only because it was demanded. I want them to want to be there with me.
Grown men can get into trouble in their own house when they do incredibly stupid things. Being self-centered to the point you become blind to the unhappiness you create by your actions will get you into trouble everytime. Why? Because it wreaks havoc with the marriage relationship and breeds unspoken resentment. Can the wife get into trouble? Yes, she can if she becomes self-centered.
Being a hard-ass doesn’t garner you respect and from your posts it appears you respond best to entreaty and begging from your wife. Do you give your wife any authority within the home or the family or must she always be subservient to you? Does she have to wait on your ruling when a child may need discipline or does she have the authority to discipline the child? Does she need your permission to rearrange a few decorative items? Does she have to ask for approval of her meal plan? Where do you draw the line as to how subservient your wife has to be to you? Wouldn’t you rather have her operate under wanting to please you because it makes you happy rather than blind obedience to your dominance?
I don’t wish to be married to a tyrant and that’s how you’re coming across to me. I don’t want a panty-waist either. In the process I’m not going to be a doormat just because some man places a higher value on subservience than he does respect, love and courtesy.
And yes, I didn’t follow my own rule about reading all posts before choosing to respond. So feel free to beat me up intellectually as well as emotionally where you can feel dominant and superior.
And neither do I. If I needed someone who felt it necessary to tell me constantly what I should wear, what I should eat, where I should be and what I should be doing, I would join the Army. They do all that.
Unfortunately, so many women turn into control-freaks that they believe they have free reign to control those aspects of our lives. Some men do it too (usually with bad results) and some men actually *want* women to handle those things, but I don't. It's demeaning and belittling to presume men can't dress themselves or feed themselves without a woman's help.
I put in my body what I want to put in my body. I throw over my body what I want to throw over my body. I give part of my day to the wishes of others in order to draw a paycheck and please those I'm desirous to please but, otherwise, I go where I choose and do what I choose. I have no interest in being monitored or controlled, even by someone whose intentions are well-meant.
That's not to say I'm not appreciative if somebody cooks for me or cleans for me or takes an interest in me. I will gladly and generously reciprocate in most situations. But I'm quite self-sufficient and independant. I'd rather have a partner than a handler, yet too many women think it's their job to be lion-tamer rather than domestic partner. The latter involves a level of trust that many women, bombarded with media images of infidelity and addictions to fuel their suspicions, refuse to grant men.