January 1909. Two of the "helpers" in the Tifton Cotton Mill at Tifton, Georgia. They work full time and earn $4.50 a week sticking on bobbins and running sides.
Posted on 11/30/2007 8:18:46 AM PST by qam1
Extreme parenting has come to be associated with images of overly involved parents — this generation's stage parents, who manage and control every minute of their child's life, imposing their adult dreams and desires onto the little ones in a pathetic attempt to fuel their own insatiable need for success and recognition. As familiar as this parental profile has become, another form of extreme parenting has emerged, one that is getting harder to ignore. I am referring to the increasingly ubiquitous parenting approach that rejects the use of the word "no," and in which even the most reasonable degree of parental limit-setting is consistently absent.
Most of us have been in social situations where we've observed, with incredulity, a parent bow to the extreme demands of a menacingly persistent child, inches from a tantrum — "Okay, but honey, that's your last package of Twizzlers before breakfast." Worse, many of us too often have been that parent. What is happening here? I thought the Dr. Spock generation put an end to tyrannical rule within family life a few generations ago. It did not. In too many families the tyrant still rules — but today he is much shorter.
How did the power balance in our parent-child relationship become so off-kilter? In what other relationship would we give in to someone we love, as a matter of course, saying "yes" to every demand, every whim, no matter how unreasonable — and expect our emotional connection to remain unharmed? "I know, dear, our new neighbor really is a knock-out, especially in that two-piece. Well, okay, but just this once, and don't be home too late, it's a work night."
On the very far end of the non-confrontational parenting trend, and seemingly designed for parents who would rather get out of the driver's seat altogether, is an organization called Taking Children Seriously. TCS adherents attempt to parent without infringing upon the children's will. When there's a conflict, they find a compromise between the child's and parent's desires; eliminating the win/lose dynamic. The examples provided on their website seem absurdly idealistic, and impossible for any parent who needs to care for a newborn sibling, meet a deadline or get dinner on the table to implement. Not to mention, this approach seems to overlook the profound limitations of a young child's capacity for reason and impulse control
Aside from this extreme example, this recent transformation in child-rearing appears to be a twisted, supercharged version of what began benignly as a "child-centered" approach to family life. Its effect on our children is attracting notice — and not just among our in-laws. Several new books have appeared within the last year, each identifying a cultural phenomenon of concern to any of us who are attempting to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted children. If the experts' predictions are on target, we're facing a future filled with overgrown, ill-tempered, and entitled Baby Hueys who will spend their adulthood wondering why they can't sustain an intimate adult relationship or hold down a decent job.
It's not just that many American parents are under-parenting by not setting reasonable limits. Paradoxically, we are also over-parenting by making every effort to ensure that our children are not given the opportunity to fail. At the same time, our pediatricians are urging us to cut back on the excessive use of hand sanitizers and antibiotics (kids need exposure to some germs if their immune systems are going to successfully fight the really bad ones), our child development experts are telling us to stop excessively slathering our children with the word "Yes." Our kid's emotional "immune systems" need exposure to life lessons that involve at least the risk of disappointment, failure or emotional turmoil if they are going to be able to withstand the bigger setbacks and losses they will inevitably face in adulthood.
An increasing number of childcare experts suggest that American parents are in dire need of a comprehensive re-evaluation of how effectively we are raising our children. If parents, like most employees, received an end-of-year job evaluation, this year's would be a particularly uncomfortable assessment. Don't even think about a performance-based bonus...........
LOVE IT!!!
BUMP!
Research continues, but there’s a distinct possibility your boy might be the cutest kid ever.
“Child-centered parenting” has been a general disaster for the American family. The “parent-centered family” is a robust antidote. I recommend the approach and writings of psychologist John Rosemond for all those who wish to administer “vitamin N” to their little darlings.
January 1909. Two of the "helpers" in the Tifton Cotton Mill at Tifton, Georgia. They work full time and earn $4.50 a week sticking on bobbins and running sides.
It hasn’t.
Photo and caption from NationalGeographic.com
A child carries unbaked bricks to a kiln at a brick factory in Raichak, India, in December 2000. Scenes like this remain a fact of life in India, despite a longtime ban on hard labor by children.
Ha! That is a law I would break, if I were unfortunate enough to be a resident of the People's Republic of Massachusetts.
My buddy has 7 kids (with the help of his wife), ages 2-13, not one ever had the dreaded terrible two's disease.
I guess the Terrible Two's aren't inevitable. If they were at least 1 of his kids should have had it. The fact that 7 of 7 avoided it tells me its all about parenting, and NOT about the child.
This "future" is different from the present somehow?
Thank You Ma’am. He’s my little mini-me...
It’s amazing!
Before I had kids I had three theories on child raising.
Now, with 3 kids, I have none!
Today these folks would be evicted (for their own good) and placed in a Gov’t Hellhole, Ooops - Housing.
No, its a matter of picking your battles. My daughter is good 98% of the time. Her teacher uses her behavior as a model for the kids who act out in her class.
The one issue I have is she isn’t a vegetable eater. It will come with time.
I was blessed I didn’t get a child like my cousin. That kid needed a belt almost everyday. I don’t think he was a mean kid but Dennis the Menance times 5. It was 30 years ago when he was little and most of my other cousins still don’t like him. My cousin should have been a toy tester because he would find a way to break it.
Also, why assume logic works with kids. “Because I said so”, isn’t very logical but is a phrase that works with many kids. Of course the tone of voice and the look has to go along with that sentence.
Anyone who seriously tried to maintain the level of discipline with children common prior to the 1970s, today, would run afoul of the law and have their child taken away by the state. The only way to avoid this is to hermit in a very remote area and home school. Failing that, even if a parent maintains an exemplary household - for example, no TV, only heavily supervised computer use, non materialistic living, etc, they would not be able to prevent peer pressure and general societal rubbish from infecting their child. Also, if they tried to maintain the selective use of coporal punishment, in most states that would be grounds for intervention by child protective services. Until / unless liberalism and cultural rot gets overturn, trying to raise children other than the hermit / home school method I mentioned, is an exercise in futility. The Suicide of the West.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.