'No-Fault' = No Kids

Townhall ^ | 11/25/2007 | Kevin McCullough

[shbox]

>>>You said an absolute mouthful here. I can’t tell you how many families I know that would have been better off parting in the interest of the children.<<<<<

I gotta say I respectfully disagree with you on most points but you are right about that.
I know some too, and I feel sorry for them for being so miserable.

[quant5]

Najida makes some good points. Saw she conceded the laws favor women mentioning the pendalum of law siding with men decades ago and with women now. I wager we both have something in common and have been raked through the coals by such laws. For a guy, it makes you bitter against American women who use the system unfairly to make you pay either fincancially or out of revenge. I have had sexual harrasment lawsuits at work, despite telling every female hired I do not date staff and keep my eyes to myself, let alone other body parts :) I had an ex who kept bringing me to court (four times) for custody when the state caught up to her on not paying a measly $25 bucks a week when the women makes $40k a year. Each time she claimed I was either physically abusing my son, or threatened her life, on and on and on. We got to get over the bitterness of it and get on to enjoyment of life. It’s not fair but we are men and we have free will and choices to make.

[steadfastconservative]

No-fault divorce laws are used by men as well as by women and whenever they are used the spouse who did not seek the divorce is the one who gets hurt. I have two sisters who were divorced by men who used our state’s no-fault laws to escape the responsibilities of marriage. Stop being such a misogynist.

[quant5]

I regret it already. We have two kids. We each have a step-child. She already called the bio father to come and pick up her son and she was going to jump on a bus to North Carolina.

So, I am ready to assume responsibility for the life of my step-son and he will likely live in the home for several months until it is over, while she goes to party with friends.

However, I am not ready to assume responsibility for bad choices. I believe that is why we all despise socialism here at this forum and the far left. They force accountability onto the responsible (we’re becoming a shrinking minority) for bad behavior.

It’s not so much about money I guess for me. It is about not living in fear. I don’t want to be alive anymore if I have to continue to live in fear. You did not answer my previous point about you being older and having a stable relationship. While I understand and respect the society and conditions of your day, you appear to try to bring arguments based upon other successful generations whom acted accountable for there decisions and showed respect for each other.

Let me repeat myself. The same condition of the current day for people between the age of 20-50 that are trying to find a lifelong spouse are radically different from your time. I WISH it was now the way it was in your day.

We may get that back in America but probably not without a serious enigma to wake up this spoiled, selfish society about accountability and responsibility. Until then, I will remain envious of your generation.

[JamesP81]

I don't think it's ever been easier to tell the good from the bad.

I disagree in the strongest possible terms. I've seen too many 'good Christian folks' do the worst things to each other, and I say that as a Christian.

Particularly if you can follow their postings on internet forums and tell what kind of personality they have when they think no one is watching

I crossed that line a long way back, so I don't worry about it anymore.

[JamesP81]

And often a bigger threat.

I wish more people could see that, too. It's unsettling the number of people on both the left and the right who are far too comfortable with handing over power to the government. It's the sort of thing I expect from the libs; but I get annoyed when I see conservatives doing it.

[JamesP81]

What action?

I'm considering a life of celibacy. Not my first choice, but like I said, telling the good from the bad is bordering on impossible, and I haven't come up with anything better as of yet.

[shbox]

As I stated in post above, my 17yo is wanting to be valedictorian. She is No.1 academically in her senior class taking college credit AP classes ~ AP trig and calculus ~ 102 average. (I can barely spell calculus) She works all day on the internet filling out applications for scholarships. She already has 3 small ones. She also works parttime to pay her part of the car insurance and cell bill. She is my girlfriend’s daughter. We all live in this house together. I have known her since she was a baby and she calls me ‘dad’.
My neighbor’s son is a delinquent. Goth type kid, white makeup and black lipstick. He got in trouble with the police for starting some fires in my neighborhood and got caught smoking pot at 16. The adults hate each other. She rules him and he hates her for it. I can tell in his voice and the way they talk to each other that they truly hate each other and are very miserable. The kid takes special classes because he is behind in his grades. Its not that he can’t do it. He just don’t care. And curses his parents all the time.

They go to church every Sunday and Wednesday and have been married for 25 years.

Thats the reason I normally stay away from these threads. Because as soon as I mention that me and Ms.ShBox are not married and live together with our kids, I get accused of contributing to all ills of society...that my kids are going to be drug addicts....that I am causing crime and the kids would be better off with their real father (the one who beat their mother and belonged to the KKK)....one FReeper actually said that his insurance rates are high because of me and he would lock his doors at night if he lived next to me. That FReeper said this from 700 miles away without ever meeting me or my family.

And yet somehow that FReeper is sure that my neighbor’s kid is on the right track simply because the parents are married. I just don’t get it...

[HairOfTheDog]

James, IMHO, the most impossible and unpleasable person in this scenario is you. If you want to live alone for fear of failing in a relationship, do... just stop blaming the rest of the world, and women, and the legal system, for your decision. It’s easy to focus on everything that’s wrong with the world, I guess, I’ve never been that kind of person. I don’t feel cheated for being given the time I’ve got.

Good luck to you.

[Gabz]

Respectful disagreements will never get a harsh word from me.

I just wish we didn’t have to agree on such a hard one.

[Gabz]

It's the sort of thing I expect from the libs; but I get annoyed when I see conservatives doing it.

"so-called" conservatives do it as much, if not more, than the libs.

[Gabz]

FYI - my husband and I would LOVE to have you and your family as neigbors.

[Huntress]

Ping!

What do you think of this?

[VermiciousKnid]

I have an aunt whose husband abandoned her and their daughter almost 60 years ago because his Mommy didn’t like his wife.

Auntie struggled to provide for my cousin and refused her husband’s attempts to divorce her. (We are Catholic, and divorce was totally out of the question for her.)

Anyway, this guy croaks a couple of years ago and to the utter amazement of his sister, because my aunt had refused to allow a divorce all those years ago, SHE was his only heir. She came into a HUGE bundle of money, far more than she ever imagined she’d have. Now, auntie is a little old lady and had no need for the money herself, but it sure did come in handy toward sending her granddaughter (and my oldest goddaughter) to medical school.

Revenge is a dish best served cold. That panty-waisted mama’s boy is probably spinning in his grave about it.

Regards,

PS: As the child of divorce, I must say that I am not in favor of no-fault divorce when children are involved. Divorce HURTS kids, and hurts them bad. You live with it, but it never stops hurting...it is the death of a family.

[Mercat]

I think that once women were given the power to control their fertility, the genie was out of the bottle and it will never be forced back in. This is a natural consequence of birth control and JPII was absolutely correct.

[Claud]

Here’s what I swore before God and before my family on a summer day 4 years ago:

“I, N. N., take thee, N. N., for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

Till Death do us part. I vowed that before God. Now how I can nice and easy slide out of that solemn vow based on some Johnny-come-lately misinterpretation of “covenant theology”?

This ain’t no religion thread, so I’ll stop there. But if you want to post something over there, I’d be happy to respond.

[MetaThought]

Saved for later.

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

That is totally untrue. Ask those who know me I love men!!

BTW, you started the name calling with the DU comment.

[highball]

"But until you get the law changed, what right has the state to punish people who exercise their rights under that law?"

Same right it has to fine people for not keeping their ad valorem tax tag up to date, using their concealed weapon license in a reckless manner.

Your examples are poorly chosen and inapplicable, because this is not about somebody somehow misusing or abusing their legal rights (or deliberately skirting the law), but using them exactly as intended under the law. You may not like the law, but that dislike itself does not invalidate it.

It's called the police power of the state and it's purpose is to regulate the exercise of rights so that they don't threaten the health, welfare and safety of the people of the state.

Liberal nonsense.

Show how divorce directly and concretely "threaten(s) the health, welfare and safety of the people of the state". Not some abstraction about our spirits all being harmed because two people couldn't make their marriage work - that's the trick libs use when they want to bloat the state.

The same twisted logic could be (and has) been used to justify everything from banning smoking to transfats to Prohibition to "gun control." It is appalling that a conservative would employ it.

If you don't like the law, you get it changed. Or you try to change hearts and minds through public appeal. That's the conservative approach. But give the state new power to punish people for exercising their legal rights? That's the province of the other side.

[JamesP81]

PS: As the child of divorce, I must say that I am not in favor of no-fault divorce when children are involved. Divorce HURTS kids, and hurts them bad. You live with it, but it never stops hurting...it is the death of a family.

Well spoken, and that's an unfortunate experience we both share. I admit that my parents weren't really meant to be together, but it's true that there are some things you don't completely get over...ever.