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P. J. O'Rourke: Pennies from Heaven - Special one for two sale.
Weekly Standard ^ | 09/24/2007 | P. J. O'Rourke

Posted on 11/16/2007 9:04:06 PM PST by neverdem

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1 posted on 11/16/2007 9:04:08 PM PST by neverdem
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To: neverdem

Eliminate the penny, and you can bet that every purchase that used to end with a .X3 will be rounded up to a .X5. Which means that the average penny will pay for itself the first time a taxpayer uses it. Every other useage over its lifetime circulation will be gravy.


2 posted on 11/16/2007 9:16:00 PM PST by LexBaird (Behold, thou hast drinken of the Aide of Kool, and are lost unto Men.)
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To: LexBaird
If all of our taxes were only 100% inefficient like the penny production is, I would be happy.

I read once that for every tax dollar taken by our income redistibuting welfare system, only 17 cents actually lands in the hands of a recipient. In essence, welfare is 500% inefficient. Reducing it to 100% would save countless billions and balance the budget in a couple years.

3 posted on 11/16/2007 9:23:28 PM PST by Lawgvr1955 (You can never have too much cowbell !!)
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To: neverdem

Prior to 1982 a penny weighed 3.1 grams, or about 146 to the pound.

Todays copper quote is about $3.15 per pound.

Net gain on just the value of the metal is $1.69 per pound, each cent is worth .0216 cents.


4 posted on 11/16/2007 9:26:33 PM PST by djf (Send Fred some bread! Not a whole loaf, a slice or two will do!)
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To: neverdem

“This little brown item of pocket clutter”

“I suppose, as a fiscal conservative, a concerned citizen, and—at least until the cocktail hour—a decent human being, I should have been indignant.”

Sigh! Always loved P.J.’s writing.


5 posted on 11/16/2007 9:30:25 PM PST by neb52
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To: Lawgvr1955

I remember hearing about welfare too, but I thought it was 28 cents efficient per dollar spent. Ain’t government great?


6 posted on 11/16/2007 9:30:28 PM PST by boop (Who doesn't love poison pot pies?)
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To: boop
Ain’t government great?

To quote Will Rogers, "Thank goodness we don't get all the government we pay for".

7 posted on 11/16/2007 9:35:47 PM PST by Lawgvr1955 (You can never have too much cowbell !!)
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To: LexBaird

I lived without pennies for many years when I was stationed in Japan. The military stopped using them in the commissary and exchange systems because of the cost involved in shipping the pennies across the ocean. All prices stayed the same. The totals were rounded up or down to the nearest nickel. Did we come out ahead or behind? I don’t know. I do know I sure as hell didn’t miss pennies and I was annoyed when I came back to the States and had to deal with them again.


8 posted on 11/16/2007 9:47:54 PM PST by GATOR NAVY
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bump for later


9 posted on 11/16/2007 9:48:44 PM PST by Drew68
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To: neverdem
Just have the Fed decree all pennies are now valued at .05 cents. Easy enuf.
10 posted on 11/16/2007 9:51:34 PM PST by endthematrix (He was shouting 'Allah!' but I didn't hear that. It just sounded like a lot of crap to me.)
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To: LexBaird
The rounding won’t be a big problem. Consider that about 35 years ago a cent was worth what a nickel is today, after inflation. We don’t need a smaller unit of value today.

I would rather that new currency were issued — the same denominations as today, but worth ten times as much. That would make the cent worth what it was 60 years ago. (This won’t happen any time soon.)

Imagine if the smallest denomination coin was a dime — that’s what a cent was worth 60 years ago. People seemed to get along just fine without a smaller unit of value.

11 posted on 11/16/2007 9:57:22 PM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: neverdem

“How much do you suppose it costs the U.S. Mint to produce a penny?
Let me tell you—with a deeply self-satisfied howl of execration—
almost 2 cents.”

IIRC, it took the Mint something like $44 MILLION to design,
stamp and launch the Sacajawea dollar coin.
And I saw a news report in which the Sacajawea dollars were being
handed out FREE to (dare I say it) waiting riders at one public
transportation hub in some major “inner city”.

And all the time I was in Los Angeles, would the vending machines
at UCLA or around Santa Monica take them?
NO!!!
The only place I found that actually used a Sacajawea dollar coin
was the ticket machines at the main station in downtown LA.
And even then one time the machine ate the Sacajaweas I fed it.
(The tickets machines are the “armless” bandits run by the city
of Los Angeles!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacagawea_dollar


12 posted on 11/16/2007 10:08:34 PM PST by VOA
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To: neverdem

Reverse split the dollar. $1 becomes 10¢ buys the same thing. Copper becomes 32¢ a lb.


13 posted on 11/16/2007 10:10:29 PM PST by Waco
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To: djf
And how much are they worth in Ron Paul dollars?

Just kidding!

14 posted on 11/16/2007 10:16:52 PM PST by matthew fuller (Crop-circles, killer rabbits and UFO'S are caused by GLOBAL WARMING!)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA
would rather that new currency were issued — the same denominations as today, but worth ten times as much. That would make the cent worth what it was 60 years ago. (This won’t happen any time soon.)

Yeah, it is not generally looked upon as a good idea to devalue your currency.

15 posted on 11/16/2007 10:27:54 PM PST by LexBaird (Behold, thou hast drinken of the Aide of Kool, and are lost unto Men.)
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To: GATOR NAVY
Isolated commissaries overseas are not really a valid comparison. The worth of a penny is not to be found in its intrinsic material, but in how well over its lifetime usage it facilitates trade as a counter of value.

Since any system that uses digits needs a minimum unit containing a terminal 1, in order to remain accurate, the penny serves a vital purpose. It allows fine adjustment of value that counting by 5s doesn’t.

Consider this. Every sale of gas that is pumped in the US shorts the customer 1 to 5/10th of a penny, half the time and gives 1 to 4/10th back half the time. Every 10 sales, they make an extra cent. Now multiply that by the number of gas sales per year. Now imagine if you rounded every purchase price in America to the nearest nickle, biasing up. Or every sales tax percent that rounds up. It may not seem much, but across the whole population and economy, those mils and two cents add up.

One of the most effective embezzlement schemes I ever heard of was a guy who programmed computer accounting software for a bank. He set it up so that any time a transaction or interest payment was rounded unevenly, it put the spare 1/2 cent in a dummy account at the end of the list. He was only caught when some guy named something like Zzyxz opened an account and reported its unexplained growth.

16 posted on 11/16/2007 11:01:29 PM PST by LexBaird (Behold, thou hast drinken of the Aide of Kool, and are lost unto Men.)
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To: LexBaird

It was time to abolish the penny long ago. They’re clutter. They can’t buy anything. I have enough of them that I think they’re a threat to the structural integrity of my house.

Will prices be rounded? Sure. They are now. Unless your produce weighs precisely one pound or your gas is precisely one gallon, the price is being rounded to the nearest cent. Actually, scratch the latter case — gasoline is already priced at, say, $3.109 a gallon. That weaselly little nine-tenths of a cent is at every gas station I’ve seen in the last 20 years. Oh, and when you add sales tax, that 5, 6, 7 10 or whatever % rarely adds up to an exact number of cents. You’re being rounded, dude.

And while we’re at it, why not get rid of the $1 bill? Dollar coins last longer and cost less to keep in circulation. But we Americans form irrational attachments to our coins and currency.


17 posted on 11/16/2007 11:21:08 PM PST by ReignOfError
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To: neverdem

So can I take my old pennies off to be recycled someplace for more than one cent each?


18 posted on 11/16/2007 11:24:13 PM PST by mhx
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To: neverdem

obviously, the government needs to start printing paper pennies.


19 posted on 11/16/2007 11:24:35 PM PST by attackcartoons
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To: LexBaird
One of the most effective embezzlement schemes I ever heard of was a guy who programmed computer accounting software for a bank. He set it up so that any time a transaction or interest payment was rounded unevenly, it put the spare 1/2 cent in a dummy account at the end of the list. He was only caught when some guy named something like Zzyxz opened an account and reported its unexplained growth.

That was a plot device in at least two movies: The excellent Office Space and the execrable Superman III. I don't know if those screenwriters were inspired by a real scheme, or they were just that creative.

20 posted on 11/16/2007 11:27:44 PM PST by ReignOfError
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