I feel for the boy.
I burnt my house down to the ground when I was 4 in December of ‘58 playing with matches. All 5 kids, ages 1 month through 8 years, and mom made it out.
They didn’t know what happened until I confessed about three days later. I think the enormity of the guilt was killing me. Thankfully my dad was in a very forgiving mood otherwise I would not be posting this.
Remember it like it was yesterday.
Hang in there kid.
Unless he’s up around 15 or older, I say, he’s just a kid. No guilt necessary. And unless his parents were criminally neglecting him in some way, same to them. We can’t start expecting kids to have adult capacity all of sudden. They simply don’t have it.
Parents try to kid-proof the house, but you can’t remember everything. It’s very hard to keep kids out of everything as well.
The matches shouldn’t have been available to this kid. Lighters, matches, oven lighters, all should be locked away to prevent kids from their natural inclination to discover what fire is all about at the expense of the family or community.
Young kids do not understand the ramifications of their acts. As long as the kid doesn’t have a long standing problem involving a number of incidents where he was playing with fire and it cause problems, it’s probably a one time mistake.
Some kids do have a propensity to play with fire. And those kids need to work through it if possible with a professional.
I’m glad things turned out well for you.
There was a house fire down the street from me. I went down to look just as a man with his arm around a sobbing boy of about 10yrs. old was walking toward me. He was telling the kid, “Just tell the truth and everything will be o.k.” The kid must’ve had the whole world on his shoulders.
Oy. This is why “regulation” is first step in discipline. If the children can’t get them (matches) , they cant make trouble. Especially at 4 years of age.
My son was 7 when he found some wooden matches in his dad’s work clothes pocket in the laundry basket that had survived the wash. He struck one in his bedroom to see if it would still light, and set the place on fire when it burned his fingers and he dropped it near the bedspread.
He then went outside, filled his red wagon with water, and started down the hall to put it out. A squeaky wheel gave him away, and fortunately we got the fire out before the rest of the house went up. The fire Dept. then showed up and really messed up the place with axes and their water hoses.
I know he never forgot it, and we never had another problem with him and matches. But there was the time he got his arm stuck in the claw machine at the market when it broke and wouldn’t return his quarter, and they called the fire Dept. to get him loose, but that’s another story...
When I was a child I set a National Forest on fire by building a “camp fire” in a rotted hollow in a dead log, a really big dead log. I thought I had put it out, but it was smoldering and that was something I had no clue about at the time. It was a small fire when it was discovered and only consumed a few acres before it could be put out. Lucky for me it was not dry or windy when I set this fire. I think I was about 8 or so, and other than lectures from Forest Rangers and being yelled at by my parents no other actions were taken. At one time we really did believe children were children in this country and did not get over board when things like this happened.
It really seems odd to me that in the past everyone was expected to take responsiblity for their actions, and now they are not really- excuses abound. Yet now when fires are accidentally set or set by children many think someone should pay. I do of course think in a case of actual arson someone SHOULD pay.
Wow! All I did was set a hay trailer on fire in 1950!
I still didn’t learn till 1956 with a small grass fire.
It happens often. Many kids play with lighters and matches. My niece almost burned my sister’s house down.
This kid just happen to be in a “heavily fueled” area.
All kids play. Just some are unlucky enough to see the full force of the fire triangle theory...
I guess it could have gone the other way and he could have become a pyromaniac.
Thank you for sharing. I too feel for that boy. Not all children that “ play with matches” are “ terrorists” as described here. Who among us, have not done some childish things when young.
God Bless you and your parents for being forgiving and loving.
I won’t go into details, but I will say from experience that you should never, ever, ever pour gasoline on a large pile of leaves and light it...even when you think you’re being smart by using a really long stick.
All we know is that the poor kid is under 13. To young. IMHO, a kid playing with matches should be considered a natural disaster.
I work with a guy who once set his brother on fire. It’s a long story ... I won’t post it.
But that was your personal property you accidently burnt down. Parents must be forgiving to their own child. This kid destroyed the property of strangers. The parents were terribly lax in this instance. This probably was not the first inkling they have gotten that their kid has a firebug problem.
I live in Temecula in SW Riverside County in Southern California. During the fire storms I was amazed that none started in my area...since the Santanas were blowing up to 60mph here and it was hot and very dry.
This Monday afternoon I started my propane barbeque to slow cook some ribs and when I went out to check the temp, I saw an unusual flame and it turns out that a plastic pool chair had blow over during the winds at the time of the fires and the leg of the chair was too near the barbeque and had caught fire.
If I had waited a half hour or so more....it may have started a fire that could have become dangerous...
Of course I'm 60 years old, so my Dad didn't have any comment.