Posted on 09/30/2007 3:56:36 PM PDT by firehat
MOMMIE DEAREST FOR PRESIDENT
HILLARY CLINTON: THE ARKANCURSE - PART 2 ©
by Norman Liebmann
In consideration of the cynicism of the muddled electorate, the cowardice of the Congress, and the complicity of the press, liberalism became sick of itself and elected a succession of Death Wish Presidents. The rotation of the Bush/Clinton “Now It’s My Turn” presidency is sordid and criminal. This political cynicism has now approached its synthesis in the person of Hillary Clinton.
We are witnessing the revolting spectacle of Bill Clinton pimping his wife’s way into the Presidency. Bill is handing Hillary the keys to our country - as if they were his to give. (Bill is hoping his lady will not attempt to show her gratitude sexually.)
To insult Hillary Clinton properly would take an artist - and I am only a writer. Nevertheless, I persevere. No humiliation is sufficiently degrading enough to deter Hillary from getting a throne’s eye-view of America. The rapist’s bride cannot wait to occupy the Oval Office, and one wonders how Hillary could enter it with the effluvium of Monica still clinging to the drapes. It was in this gamy mise en scène that Bill’s prurient cigar sex episodes managed to out-gross FDR and his secretary, Lucy Mercer, trying to “get it on” in his wheelchair. (The Clinton-Broaddrick affair will likely be covered in an upcoming issue of Genitals Quarterly. Where previous Presidents connected the dots, Hillary would be connecting the stains.)
Voltaire said, "The perfect is the enemy of the good". This is not a problem for Hillary Clinton because she has never been in the same room with either one of them. The phrase recently kidnapped by Hillary - “a willingness to suspend disbelief” - is a term she purloined from the legitimate theater, where those haute monde though suggestible audiences have been persuaded that they can enhance their enjoyment by obscuring the magic curtain of theatrical illusion with reality through that “willingness to suspend their disbelief”. Hillary cribbed and discredited this Schubert Alley truism without attribution - as she did with so many other things.
No casuistry is too flagrant for Hillary in her obsession to snatch socialism from the jaws of democracy. One is reminded of her false claim to having been named Hillary for Sir Edmund Hillary, who acquired his fame for climbing Mount Everest two years after Hillary was born. Hillary fabricated The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy while Bill and the media conspired and consolidated a Vast Left Wing Coition. Chances are Hillary’s operatives kept track of the number of times Eleanor Clift came out of the Clinton Oval Office looking happy and flushed.
Hillary is a study in over-manicured bitchiness. This is a feminist with a chrome soul. It is said she can pry open a can of sardines with her clitoris. The temperature of Hillary Clinton’s heart is approximate to the average toilet seat in the Yukon.
The principal disparities between the Clintons is that Bill manages to project an inexhaustible pool of counterfeit affability while Hillary’s apoplectic rage sizzles just below the surface. Bill’s smile tracks the floors with mucilaginous puddles of viscid insincerity. Hillary’s smile has been known to neutralize Viagra.
The idea of Hillary in a Presidential Motorcade brings new poignancy to the designation - ”A bitch on wheels”. A woman President will be the ultimate rationalization for America’s world wide weakness – already in effect. Bitchiness is not strength.
An election of Hillary Clinton means we will once again have the Crude and the Prude back in the White House - a sentimental return for Bill. The custodial crew of the Clinton White House still refers to the area of the Oval Office as the “Gang Bang Wing”. Hillary has deluded herself that Gang Bang Wing is the name of the Chinese bag man who gave Bill illegal campaign money from China.
For the Clintons money is the next best thing, and it makes no difference to what. Hence, the Beijing/Arkansas Money Pipeline is flowing once again. Norman Hsu, the Chinese bagman, is now in the slammer which seems to indicate they didn’t bag the culprits on the receiving end. Longtime fugitive Hsu should have gone back to China. All the other Chinese Clinton bagmen found China is as good a place as any for a Chinaman to lose himself in a crowd. When Bubba heard that this Oriental donor was giving money to Hillary he said, “You could have knocked me over with a straw”. (What a rhetorician!)
The Clintons are the synthesis of every unwholesome inclination that is to be found among the disreputable and opportunistic. Hillary demonstrates the female is the more vindictive of an inherently antagonistic species. Despite her manufactured reputation as “the smartest woman in the world”, it is more accurate to say that her intellect was never the equal of her capacity to intrigue. Hillary is a street fighter who never hesitates to take advantage of the fact that she is not a lady. She considers any male opponent’s groin as Grand Zero.
Hillary’s hips are wider than Joan Crawford’s shoulders and her haunches afford her the proper ballast as she tacks her way through the much corrupted corridors of Washington, the corruption of which the Clintons can lay claim to having made a prodigious contribution. Hillary is trying to grow young gracefully. Recapturing her youth is not enough. She presumes to recapture her virginity – and has come close to succeeding. Nevertheless, she is ripening at a discernible rate; Hillary is going the way of Feinstein, Boxer and Pelosi, matrons who rationalize that their pendulous breasts are symbols of female prime and intellectual sapience born of rich experience, rather than of the relentless determination of gravity.
Democrats keep picking at the Clinton scabs - which is the reason why their scandals never heal. The conundrum is why are the Clintons above The Law when they are beneath everything else? With a Hillary Presidency the Democrat Party will have hit the metaphoric bottom only to find there are undiscovered levels of bottom beneath the bottom. Currently having been obliged to relinquish office, it is expected in the Afterlife, Bill will have gone to a place from where he can step down no further.
The Democrats have made an empire using these two Arkansas political trinkets as bait for America’s most naïve minority and miscellaneous racial hybrids using accusations of racism to game the system. Consistently, the conventional wisdom is that Hillary’s choice for the Vice Presidential nomination will be Barack Obama - assuming he can demonstrate a willingness to endure an experience approximate to a four year gravel enema. Bill can show him how to do it.
[Note: The Clintons are America’s fly paper. We are stuck to it. When you say Arkansas is a breeding ground for Clintonism there is no need for further disparagement. The Clintons of Arkansas currently referred to as the Ceaucescus of Chappaqua, have made duplicity and venality a way of life. The turbaned vermin and viziers in their pleasure palaces and rape rooms (perhaps a redundancy) of the Middle East look toward Arkansas with admiration and for technical support. Arkansas has fewer pretensions to civilization than Islam. The Arabs send their most unscrupulous used camel dealers to the Arkansas seats of power for tutorials on the latest techniques for ripping off the nomadic drovers. (Currently another yokel Governor from the Ozark State named Huckabee is offering himself as a world panacea. It is another example of hick chutzpa.) Alas!]
A HILLARY ADMINISTRATION - WHAT TO EXPECT
While taking the Oath of Office, the Bible will burst into flames and quickly spread to her person. First responders will not respond.
Hillary will pass an executive order that will oblige the automobile companies to develop an alternative fuel that is fifty percent estrogen.
Hillary will appoint Rodney King as her Secretary of “Can We Get Along?”
Hillary will issue an executive order sending the National Guard to de-closet the entire state of Vermont.
Mexican pickup trucks will not be allowed to enter the United States unless they have at least one broken axle and are driven by an unlicensed illegal alien.
In her first State of the Union message before Congress, Mrs. Clinton will lament what a cesspool the residents of the inner city are obliged to live in, and admonish Caucasians to try to live more like them.
Hillary will dispatch husband Bill as an envoy-at-large to Third World countries - though God knows most already have every venereal disease Bubba could possibly spread there. The prospect of being apart in separate continents is the only thing that’s holding them together. Chances are his itinerary will include a nostalgic reconnaissance of all the motel rooms where Bill cheated on his wife.
She will pander to both major minorities by having the White House entrance adorned with the sign "Se Habla Ebonics."
Her Amnesty Program will require illegal aliens to be billeted in your home. The "hostess" will have to breast feed these stoop laborers until they can work standing up. Until then they must be tucked in every night and read a fairy tale in Spanish.
To doubly insure the preservation of the illegal alien culture in the United States, Hillary will establish a Department of Ethnic Ethnicity.
She will re-work the tax code so that taxes will be a crushing burden on any class of Americans insufficiently crushed.
She will issue official apologies to illegal aliens for the fact that there are too many programs on television in English.
Among the underprivileged she will re-catalog crime as gainful employment. No Caucasian will be allowed to break and enter stores unless accompanied by an illegal alien.
Shuffling as you walk will be sufficient proof of eligibility for government assistance. Instructors will be available to teach applicants how to shuffle convincingly.
People suffering from Clinton fatigue will not be covered by Medicare.
Hillary will restore to incarcerated felons (the Democrat base) the right to vote - they will be paroled in time for her re-election. (Bill will escort her on a thank you appearance at San Quentin where he is more popular than Johnny Cash. Limousines will be parked outside the prison walls with the motor running to drive them to the polls and continue on to the scene of their next felony.)
She will establish a Department of Iffy Sex and Loyalty comprised of Helen Thomas, Yoko Ono, Rosie O’Donnell, Jane Fonda, Cindy Sheehan, Barbra Streisand, Susan Sarandon, Joan Baez, Susan Estrich, Heidi Fleiss, Alec Baldwin, the First O.J. Jury, and Barry “Please Don’t Let Elizabeth Hesselbeck Beat Me Up” Manilow.
She will disband the military to demonstrate to the world her belief that weakness is a sign of strength.
She will issue an executive order requiring Vermont to make Boy George its Official State Bird.
Transsexuals will be guaranteed a choice of whether to “wee” standing up or sitting down.
She will order all four letter words deleted from The Sopranos reruns, and reduce the entire nine year series to three five minute episodes.
She will staff the White House with aides known for being Bill’s legacy lap dogs.
She will have the National Archives add to the signers of the U.S. Constitution the name Vladimir Ilyich Lenin.
The Hillary Justice Department will operate under a guide line established by Janet Reno - when in doubt, let it slide.
Hillary will accede to The NAACP’s demand that she redesign The White House so it looks less like a plantation.
In a racial pandering ploy, Bill Clinton promised the Inner City a program called Midnight Basketball. Hillary will promise an all-black space program the crews of which would be called "Afronauts." She will ask NASA to send Rodney King into outer space in the interest of going where no LAPD squad car has gone before.
Hillary will send The Army Corps of Engineers to Afghanistan to rearrange the rubble.
Kathleen Willey’s missing manuscript will be added to the vast collection of material in the Clintons’ suppressed evidence vault.
She will make Hugh Hefner cancel his own subscription to Playboy Magazine, and force him to stop throwing parties wearing only his pajamas.
Hillary will name her husband Bill as her envoy-at-large and send him to every backward Third World country with instructions to leave no snake un-charmed.
She will levy a suck-dry surtax on Caucasians to be called “The Get Whitey Assessment”.
She will disband the Border Patrol and let race riots settle the immigration problem.
Instead of a President throwing out the first ball for the opening of the baseball season, Hillary will likely be invited by a feminist convention to switch on the opening vibrator.
Hillary will award the Rodham Medal of Treason to the President of Columbia University for hosting mass a murdering despot and even more shameful, season after season, consistently fielding faggot football teams.
Likely Hillary will junk The Holy Bible and be sworn into office on a copy of the Geneva Convention, a document revered by all liberals and to which all despots and terrorists are exonerated for their criminal depredations.
We now have a relapse of Hillarycare - Hillary Clinton’s Universal Health and Hellfire Plan. A Hillary Presidency promises to turn the world into a global Free Clinic. Every plague will have to wait its turn. Jammed together in waiting rooms, the sick will infect and re-infect each other in order to keep her socialized medical system functioning briskly. Hillary will be worshiped by illegal aliens as The Madonna of the Mexican Malaise. (Going Hillary one better, John Edwards proposes making periodic physical examinations mandatory for everybody, although the word periodic is somewhat off-putting for women. Nevertheless, it will come as good news to doctors, perverts, and inspire a black market in used latex gloves).
And this …
As President of the United States, Hillary Rodham Clinton will send Al Gore to address the United Nations and to tell them the world is all used up and for them to blame it on America.
***
Sir, have you no shame...!!??
This would be more hilarious if it wasn’t so terrifying.
Pry open a can of sardines with her clitoris?
L
O
L
I know it’s Sunday, but that’s funny... I don’t care who you are.
Worse than what you describe: if you shave her head, you would see three 6’s......
ROTFLOL Too funny. Too true.
lmao I knew you would get a kick out of this...~P~
NO WIRE HANGERS................EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really don’t doubt it...
Nonetheless, I can't resist telling this joke my Daddy told me about Eleanor:
ER is on a train, trying to wend her way back to the first class car. She bumps into a drunken sot wending his way in the opposite direction.
The drunk exclaims "Eleanor! It's true! You are the ugliest woman I ever laid eyes on." Eleanor shouts back "And you are the most drunken, disgusting man I've ever crossed paths with."
"Yup," said the drunk, "but in a few more hours, I'll be sober."
Well fine, I may never have another can of sardines in my life;-)
Freegards,
Lex
ROFLMAO! Hooray Norm! GRRRRRREAT!
Mild comparisons, mild comparisons do our dear leader no justice. A redux of Pol Pot II - QUOTES: I did not join the resistance movement to kill people, to kill the nation. Look at me now. Am I a savage person? My conscience is clear. I want you to know that everything I did, I did for my country. I’m quite modest. I don’t want to tell people I’m the leader. It’s up to history to judge. Since he is of no use anymore, there is no gain if he lives and no loss if he dies. This year is zero. When I die, my only wish is that Cambodia-*(PARALLEL TO THE UNITED STATES)* remain and belong to the West. It is over for COMMUNISM, and I want to stress that. These my dear freepers are all famous quotes of POL POT. Joan Crawford, Pig in a Pantsuit, Hitlery are non-starters - do you realize what reality has dealt us??????? It will feel like the Matrix all over again. All dissenters will be marched off to re-education camps./Just Asking - seoul62.........
Lord forgive me for talkin about Hillary usin her crotch to open a sardine can, and be with the starvin pygmies down in New Guinea amen.
Please don't shout. It's rude.
Thank you.
The Beast is a viagra antidote.
The mind truly...TRULY boggles at that image. Think of the smell.
.
Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a post of the week winner, FReepers! No more entries, please!
Now, 'scuse me while I go change my Depends ;^)
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