Alan Keyes Now Throws Hat into Republican Presidential Nomination Race

LifeSiteNews.com ^ | September 17, 2007 | Peter J. Smith

[IslandJeff]

Dr. Keyes, please don’t do this. Write a book instead. Settle for a Congressional seat.

If you need to pay off past campaign debt, just level with us.

[DoughtyOne]

This just in. Republican party faithful have since kicked the hat on out of the ring.

NEVERMIND

[guinnessman]

Oh brother!

[DoughtyOne]

Alan, isn’t this your third strike?

[Darkwolf377]

on the nationally syndicated Janet Parshall radio program

What nation would that be?

[BurbankKarl]

I would rather vote for Alicia Keyes.

[DoughtyOne]

Cub Reporter:  Mr. Keyes, we're hear with three people who voted for you in 2004.  How is your campaign going this year?

Keyes: First of all, I need to set the record straight.  Those are THE three people who voted for me in 2004.  Now as you can tell, we're doing better this campaign.  It's fourteen months until the election and we've already attracted the numbers we had last time.  We're hoping to do much better this go-round.

Cub Reporter: Mr. Keyes, do your really plan on campaigning right up until the primaries next spring?

Keyes: Well, we tend to think of it more like eating our way across the nation.  Coffee shops, hair parlors, pool halls, animal shelters... you've no doubt read about our groundbreaking way of attracting voters during prior election cycles.

Cub Reporter:  But Mr. Keyes, do you really think you're going to be more competitive this year?  Why?

Keyes: As I've already stated, we already have numbers as large as our vote from 2004.  Of course we'll have to reaccess as time goes by, but I don't see our numbers slipping much before the primaries.

Cub Reporter:  Well Mr. Keyes, it's been nice talking to you.  Say over there, is that one of your campaign posters on the back of Thompson's bus?

Keyes: It's been nice talking to you as well.  I'm sorry but we're going to have to get headed to our next stop-over...

Keyes: Okay girls, into the VW Bus.  Here comes Thompson and he doesn't look happy...

[Nachoman]

For such a brilliant man, he sure seems to be a slow learner.

[Redcloak]

Somebody throw it back!

[IslandJeff]

I just sent him money. Two hundred. Far less than I’ve done for Giuliani, and about what I’ve done for Tancredo and Hunter.

He’s either insane or inspired. Who can tell?

[DoughtyOne]

It’s not my place to tell you what to do with your money, but I think you’ve pretty much accomplished what Keyes wanted.

Alan isn’t going anywhere. The funds that get sent in will keep him going for a while. Then he’ll either peter out or get slaughtered at the polls.

In answer to your question, “Who can tell?”, if you’ll look at his past performances, it’s pretty clear what the answer is. You can...

Take care.

D1

[ansel12]

“I just sent him money. Two hundred. Far less than I’ve done for Giuliani, and about what I’ve done for Tancredo and Hunter.”

Wouldn’t chicks be more fun?

[jwparkerjr]

He and Newt would make a great ticket. Not a snowball’s chance in hell of being elected, but it sure would liven up the debates. I have a deep and abiding affection for both of them and I do not want to see them suffer the beating they will take by being candidates. They have too much to offer our nation in this critical time period to waste it by trying to be elected. I pray that both of them will use their genius to work within the system, but outside the elective process.

[IslandJeff]

What’s his end-game? It couldn’t be all bad.

Heck, at least I’ll get my money’s worth if he gets a lectern at a GOP debate.

Yes, I gave to his Illinois Senate campaign, too, which was another poorly-informed decision. Oh well - at least he sells my mailing address to decent folks.

[DoughtyOne]

Alan is a decent thinker. I like his presentations. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t like the guy in total, but he’s just a habitual runner who’s never going anywhere.

At some point you have to ask yourself why throw money down a rabbit hole.

Don’t sweat it. It’s not like you’re sending money to Hillary or something. I just try to discourage wasting money for folks who might like to send those dollars to someone that it might actually help.

I think it’s great that you’re that involved.

[DoughtyOne]

Between the two of them they should be able to crank out a pretty decent book. It would be an interesting read, if they took problem by problem and laid out a proper course of action based on Constitutional grounds.

Like you said, drop the campaign B.S. It’s just silly.

[IslandJeff]

Wouldn’t chicks be more fun?

For some things, sure, but I'd rather listen to conservatives than most women.

[ROTB]

Go take a look-see at how many times Abraham Lincoln ran for office and failed.

He won for the first time, the first time he became president.

[ansel12]

OK, OK, I’m thinking, don’t rush me.

I need a little time to think on this.