Posted on 09/08/2007 2:52:54 PM PDT by decimon
These days, if Rian Romoli accidentally bumps into a child, he quickly raises his hands above his shoulders. "I don't want to give even the slightest indication that any inadvertent touching occurred," says Mr. Romoli, an economist in La Cañada Flintridge, Calif.
Ted Wallis, a doctor in Austin, Texas, recently came upon a lost child in tears in a mall. His first instinct was to help, but he feared people might consider him a predator. He walked away. "Being male," he explains, "I am guilty until proven innocent."
In San Diego, retiree Ralph Castro says he won't allow himself to be alone with a child -- even in an elevator.
Cont...
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
“I wouldn’t trust you with my grand children or my dog.”
LOL!!
Your choice!
Luckily my hubby trusts me with our 7 kids.
The dog is his job though.
“Out of curiosity, why do you call a woman that purposely endangers a child stupid”
That comment was made during a discussion about women who shack up with abusive men - then mommy’s new boyfriend damages the children. dumb dumb dumb.
And if a man brought home a girlfriend who was hurting the children, I would say the same thing...dumb dumb dumb.
“How many husbands have you ever heard get off of a murder charge because they were overwrought? Shall we start counting the number of women that have gotten off or very light sentences for killing their husband and/or children?”
I didn’t realize that was the topic.
The op referred to the fact that parents want their children to be more careful about contact with men.
I think that is because parents are most afraid of kidnap, rape, and murder.
Most of these types of crimes are committed by men.
I have NOT stated that most men are predators.
I WILL state that most men are good guys.
“I suppose it was a man who put her kids into a car and drove it into a lake a few years back with the kids screaming for mommy to let them out, remember that one? “
who could forget it?
I think different issues are getting confused here.
Susan Smith was a horrific mother who killed her own children.
Most parents couldn’t bear to think of what those poor boys must have gone through.
On the other hand, when parents fear for their child’s safety...they aren’t afraid of the Susan Smith’s out there - because it isn’t that type of person who is kidnapping, raping, and then killing the victim.
When the police pretend to be a young child online...do you think it is the Susan Smith type that is soliciting sex and trying to arrange a meeting?
“Sounds like how the good Catholic priests have to act because of the scandals of a few.”
yes! exactly!
and we’ve seen many catholics blame the media - or blame anti-catholic bigotry for the scandal.
But the sad truth is that the evil deeds of a particular awful brand of priest caused the scandal.
Most priests are good men.
But the scandal wasn’t the fault of the media...or of anti-catholics.
“How reliable are the statistics today?”
I’m not an expert on statistics, so I couldn’t tell you.
” I know it happens, but how many false claims of abuse are made by the mother on advice of her lawyer when a couple divorces so the mother gets the upper hand in court.”
Well sure they do, and likewise some fathers do the same to the mother.
I think that is a different issue as opposed to the types of crimes that make parents afraid for the safety of their children.
The ones who would kidnap, rape and kill.
“No...the VAST majority, no...OVERWHELMING majority of men do not abuse men.”
correct.
“Just because some women are absolute bitches, well then they ALL must be, and men must be cautioned to avoid them, is that it?”
You are arguing against a statement I never made.
I didn’t say all men must be abusers.
When parents think of the worst thing that could happen to their child I am assuming they would thing about kidnap, rape, and murder.
You can avoid bitchy women if you’d like, but it appears they aren’t the ones soliciting young children online for sex.
It appears they aren’t the ones who would steal a child out of bed at night and proceed to rape and kill.
This is why parents may be wary of their children hanging out with men who are not trusted friends or family members.
Gavin De Becker, who wrote one of the best books available on personal security (the Gift of Fear) strongly suggests training kids from an early age to seek out women if lost or in trouble.
“Start publicly crucifying child molesters and grown men will be able to interact with them again without everyone being suspicious. Why - because the rate of deviant behavior would plummet.
This crime is more complex than many though. IMO you would need to also execute porn producers and others who push sexual obsession. Not a popular idea with libertarians though - they think “consenting adults” can do anything they want and there won’t be any bleed through into society.”
SOMEBODY WHO GETS IT!!!
very well said.
God bless you.
“The stats are compelling—30 to 40 percent of the abuse is perpetrated by a family member, and 50 percent is perpetrated by a close family acquaintance. “
Correct...and it would be interesting to see how that breaks down to fathers/mothers vs. stepparents or girlfriends/boyfriends.
Of course - these situations are usually probably considered “family matters.”
“Yet the impact we read here is that men are afraid to reach out and assist children who are strangers.”
yes they are, and the question is...why?
Because the crimes that parents fear most - kidnap, rape & murder - are committed by men.
It isn’t because of the media, and it isn’t because women are bitches.
I do think it is sad that men feel that way.
“Gavin De Becker, who wrote one of the best books available on personal security (the Gift of Fear) strongly suggests training kids from an early age to seek out women if lost or in trouble.”
Is Gavin De Becker a leftist paranoid whacko? :)
Please banish me to a corner in northern Alaska. Sometimes I think I’d rather just duck out to the wilderness and say the hell with society.
Uh not that I know of — he’s a security consultant for high profile types. Very credible.
Yesterday, I was walking to the train station and there was this little girl in front of me at the corner waiting for the school bus -- alone. There was nobody else except us.
As I approached she glared at me. So, what could I do? The girl was wary of me. I walked quickly past her with my head to the other side.
Sometimes I think I’d rather just duck out to the wilderness and say the hell with society.
what fun is that? don’t you want to know what happens next?
The article lists stories of good men who are afraid to help a crying child, to be alone for a moment with a child even in an elevator, to do volunteer work involving children, or to drive a child home. On the flip side, men are confronted as probable sex offenders by strangers when alone with their own children, won’t be visited at Halloween once divorced, and reprimanded for a child sitting on their lap when they are reading.
The article implies that American society believes that all men should be considered probable sex offenders and barely tolerated alone with their own children in public. Your response? It’s “because the great majority of sexual and physical abuse, kidnapping, and murders committed against children are committed by men.”
I hope your husband knows you think he’s a probable sex offender.
What difference does it make to the subject of the thread? My dad was born in 1911, the youngest of six, and mother came along in 1914, the oldest of eight. Nothing was ever said about these grandparents of mine going out to restaurants, concerts, bars, you name it. I'd be amazed to know they ever paid a babysitter.
The only ones who minded my brothers and me at times were an aunt or uncle or my grandparents.
My husband and I did have babysitters...the daughters of our good neighbors, and sometimes their friends whom they highly recommended. They all happened to be teenage girls. Never a problem...all trustworthy.
Two of our children totally trust my oldest grandson to babysit their kids. My youngest daughter has had a neighbor boy stay with them in the past. No problem. (None of them are little babies, of course).
It all comes down to having and using good sense and our gut instincts. I would never have put my children in harm's way, nor did my ancestors. Our lifestyles change, circumstances are not all the same in any era.
Parental involvement or un-involvment is certainly another reason for this. Our scout-masters were family friends, we knew them personally and my parents took an active involvement in knowing the troops philosophy. I get the feeling that many today just drop their kids off and hope for the best? Or am I wrong?
My son is actively involved in ice-hockey. He's 12 this next month and has been playing on the same team since he was 4. Many of the core group of kids are still intact and we've had the same trainers for the past 6 years. The parents are actively involved, go to the trainings and games. Sit together, talk together, same with the coaches, who both have kids on the team. We have parent meetings, team meetings and player meetings. Each of the last two years the coaches have chosen one out of town tournament to attend where they traveled and over-nighted as a team. 2 coaches, 1 team manager and 17 kids. Parents were allowed, but were not allowed to travel with the team, stay at the same hotel or eat with the team. Due to all of our involvement over the years we have felt confident in the kids ability to make correct decisions and the coaches to make the right decisions. As a result of this our team will be traveling with 2 coaches 11,000 miles for an international hockey tournament this winter at age 12. I'm proud of them. My son will be attending a hockey camp in the Chech Republic this next summer; alone - traveling with a friend from another hockey team.
This for me is reminiscent of my own childhood and the kinds of responsibilities that were afforded me at an early age. Why then are so many others struggling with these issues? It's why we are also loosing so many of our freedoms. People are loosing the ability to know what freedom is and it's starting at an early age.
Now, don't get me wrong, I want to protect my son and I do. I know there are evils out there and evil people. My point is simply that we as a culture need to actively cultivate the ideals in our children that will make them good people, right choosing people, ones who will make the proper choices and take the proper actions while at the same time giving them the opportunity to experience the results for themselves of these actions. Left to their own designs, without guidance or sheltered from all interaction will create a bunch of limp wristed ninny's who will be a drain on society.
This is a quote from the article:
“Children who die of physical abuse are more often victims of female perpetrators, usually mothers, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.”
Your rejoinders says: “But we don’t see many women kidnapping, raping, and murdering children.”
I understand your concern, but your statement is simply wrong, whether we “see” it or not, “children DIE” of physical abuse more often at the hands of FEMALE perpetrators. It goes against what we think about the sexes and motherhood, but the facts are what they are.
I am simply citing to you the text of the article. If you want to stop the murder of children (and abuse), then you have to look at what is going on in reality. I doubt you will think that the Justice Department of Healht and Human Services “cooks” the data.
I understand your concern, but your statement is simply wrong, whether we “see” it or not, “children DIE” of physical abuse more often at the hands of FEMALE perpetrators. It goes against what we think about the sexes and motherhood, but the facts are what they are
I did say sometimes.... See my post 277
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