Posted on 09/06/2007 8:06:07 AM PDT by presidio9
Democrats act like they’re smarter than Republicans. But deep down they’re very insecure. Deep down they think Republicans are not only smarter, but they have better secret plans and dirty tricks.
So in some smoke-filled room, or at least a laptop filled room, nervous Democratic opposition researchers are trying to connect the Foley-Vitter-Craig dots. Because only a nit-wit could believe that three very sordid scandals could scourge the GOP in one session of Congress by sheer coincidence. Democrats do not believe in a God that generous.
I am told Democratic counter-operatives are pursuing three conspiracy theories at this point.
The Gay Wedge: The idea here is that Republicans are trying to split the traditionally Democratic gay and “sexually permissive” vote by enlisting sympathy for victims like Mark Foley (priest abuse) and Larry Craig (police state intrusiveness). David Vitter, Louisiana Senator who was on the infamous D.C. Madam’s call list (and apparently a few others) is obviously a smokescreen.
A wedge issue splits a constituency traditionally loyal to one party. Republicans know how to use them and Democrats don’t. In between Nixon’s two wins, Republicans realized they couldn’t allow Southern white males to keep voting for conservative, segregationist Democrats. They needed them to vote for conservative, segregationist Republicans.
So Republicans started talking trash about gun control, which the Democrats like but Southern white males hate. That’s a wedge issue. Affirmative action was a terrific Republican wedge issue, as were the death penalty and busing. Abortion has worked well for them in recent years, along with immigration and, of course, gay marriage.
The brass ring for wily Republicans would be to split the hardcore leftie voter. Enter Foley and Craig. If Republicans can get just 20 percent of the demographic pod they have secretly code-named “Spawn of Satan” they can win.
There is a long tradition of closeted hyper-conservatives who publicly attack homosexuality. Sen. Joseph McCarthy’s chief lieutenant, the creepy Roy Cohn, died of AIDS and was long said to be gay. J. Edgar Hoover was rumored to be gay. Terry Dolan, the director of the arch-right NCPAC, the first PAC to run mega-negative campaign ads, also died of AIDS after being rumored to be gay.
Republicans are counting on this twisted tradition to give their ploy plausibility.
The Straight Wedge: This is a far more psychologically sophisticated plot. It is based on research in brain science that shows all men have a deep-seated fear of getting caught - at something. Polls show that a long, unpopular bloody war, contrary to Republican predictions, has actually eroded support for President Bush and his party among white males. Who’d have thunk? This was a malfunction. A major malfunction.
Calling Democrats a bunch of wusses is the traditional Republican way of appealing to white male voters. It could be ineffective in ’08 so the GOP needs a Plan B. “Straight Wedge” is an attempt to subliminally appeal to the male fear of getting caught being naughty. It also (and here’s the daring brilliance) taps into an ancient male syndrome known as Hypocritical Blowharditis.
You see, deep inside every masculine id resides a dread that the paternal ego that goes around uttering groundless opinions and making random rules and judging other people will be exposed as pretend or make-believe. Hypocritical Blowharditis in severe forms makes men act out even more as they try to stem the tide of shame.
Republicans orchestrated the Foley, Vitter and Craig affairs as psycho-dramatizations of the nightmare ending - getting caught and exposed. Foley, the protector of children, plays cyber sex games with boys. Vitter, the family moralist, is caught using call girls. Craig, the snarling mean guy, is accused of stalling. Across the country, white males experience relief and schadenfreude. They will unconsciously express their gratitude to Republicans in the voting booth.
Including homosexual scandals is especially ingenious because it allows many white male voters to retain a feeling of moral superiority during their cathartic relief knowing that some other schnook is getting busted wide open.
If Hillary Clinton is the nominee, the Democrats won’t have a prayer. The Republicans will subliminally portray her as the Archetypal Woman Who Catches Men.
Democrats are living in fear of the next scandal but expect several.
The Diversion This is the simple plan and Democrats discount it, though they are formulating a counter-attack.
Republicans are vulnerable for one reason and one reason only: Iraq. Voters need to be distracted from Iraq. A series of Republican scandals will lay the groundwork for mega-scandals in ’08. In December, they will orchestrate one more Foley-Vitter-Craig level mess while simultaneously pulling U.S. troops out of Iraq.
After the nominee is chosen, Project Diversion/Dirty Tricks Division will initiate a series of Democratic scandals. By the fall, Iraq will be a third tier issue. More scandals will eclipse ancient memories of a distant war. And the Republicans will win.
Obviously these theories remain just that, theories. It just isn’t plausible that three such extreme cases of public-private hypocrisy in the Republican party could be a coincidence. Right?
Leftist paranoia.
Think the author suffers from paranoia?
I can just see the girly man typing away with perfectly manicured nails while wearing his tinfoil hat.
No REAL man will vote for Hillary...period.
It has nothing to do with this nonsensical psycho-babble.
Great minds think alike :)
I will agree with him on one point: Several notorious scandals involving high profile Dims being exposed, will occur before next years elections.
Deranged, paranoid, projectionism.
This is it exactly. They swear that WE are the dirty tricksters. Someone tell me, when was the last "dirty trick" the Republicans pulled? I am biased, I know, but all I can remember are things like the original "October Surprise", then the Bush DUI in 2000, and recently the FoleyGate scandal. The latter two were old news, held and then released specifically for maximum effect prior to the elections... When has "our side" done something dirty like that, or any dirty tricks?
This is a ham handed attempt at humor to hide the malicous attack machines of Mike Rogers and CREW.
The most half-baked, reverse-psychology, and totally-reliant-on-the-deficiencies-of-your-opponent plan ever cooked up in the history of the world, maybe.
There is the Stupid Party and the Evil Party. The Stupid Party wouldn’t be able to think up such a convoluted scheme, while the Evil Party is concocting similar ones all the time, but nothing on such a grand scale.
Rube Goldberg used to draw up all these elaborate inventions to do something that could be accomplished by walking across the room and making a simple gesture, like flicking on a light switch.
Well, our side didn’t forge Bush’s National Guard documents and air them on CBS back in 2004 (think: Dan Rather).
Nor did our side commit voter fraud by registering *thousands* of made-up people (think: ACORN).
It’s not our side “outing” closeted gay GOP’ers, either.
Do you think it better to let the rats out one at a time or should the GOP go for a big sweep?
The rats will keep outing their own in the GOP, while holding a double-standard for their own Party.
This is social darwinism. We grow stronger. Our herd is culled.
Their herd remains weak.
That’s my opinion, too. Cull ‘em now. No more October surprises.
I doubt it.
The current batch of Republican have neither the brains, brawn or balls for the task..
The term "metro-sexual" was invented for Republican politicians.
I authorize you to remind me if I'm proved wrong....
There is high risk of extinction, if the current herd of Republicans is culled under realistic and meaningful criteria...
Let’s not forget the entirely bogus prosecution of Speaker DeLay that ran him out of Congress.
Dems have a lock on dirty tricks.
Whenever conservatives demand their elected representatives actually represent them, its called a “wedge issue.” I’m sick of it. Use of that word is probably the best single indicator of a moonbat with utter scorn for democracy.
Yah, I have a response:
Uh, what?
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