Posted on 08/29/2007 2:18:39 AM PDT by Caipirabob
A few years ago, my husband, Mark, and I were at one of those hip downtown restaurants sipping mojitos and nibbling on lime-spiked seviche when one of my bosses appeared from a cloud of Cuban-cigar smoke and patted my shoulder. When I introduced him to Mark, he naturally asked what he did for a living. We both froze.
"I do some freelancing," Mark said.
"He studied film at NYU," I said at the same time.
Mark looked at me and shrugged. "I stay home with our daughter," he said, as my colleague quietly balked.
"He makes it possible for me to do my job," I said, laughing. But inside, I was mortified. Technically, I had it all back then, including a gorgeous toddler and a cool job.
What I didn't have was a husband I felt proud of.
(Excerpt) Read more at lifestyle.msn.com ...
Because he paints and translates the poetry of Pablo Neruda? In the business circles with which I am familiar, a woman with a husband who spends his days like that would first garner others’ bewilderment, then pity, and - finally - scorn.
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
Any real man who came home from work and found that garbage on the table would shout, "Woman of the house! Do ya take me for a rabbit who can live on watery weeds? Feed that slop to the hogs, and break out the steaks!"
Or, "You'll get no beef from me until meat's back on the menu!"
Of course, a man who goes 3-4 years unable to find a job isn't much of a man. But she doesn't deserve one, either!
Depends if you’re in a business where the major customers make or market perfume and lipstick, and your co-workers are mostly female.
“... she traded him in for a newer model.”
Seems like she traded a 1987 Yugo for the 1988 version.
ok. lol
My guess is because, unlike hubby #1, hubby #2 owns at least one suit and possibly shaves and gets his hair cut occasionally.
From the businesswomen I know, the bewilderment, pity and scorn for this woman would be more intense than from the businessmen.
We disagree and quoting the Bible does not bring agreement in this case.
For some reason too many women think they are way better than they are. I actually had a recent conversation with some of my single buddies and we were wondering why we were not more picky. One mentioned how a fat unattractive girl will show a ton of cleavage and have no problem coming up to an attractive guy and throwing down moves. They will even wait until the guys beer goggles are 4" thick and move back in. Guys are way more intimidated of good looking women.
Not in that world. I have a passing knowledge of these types of people. Best case storyline is she lands the Neruda fan a job writing for some cable show or soap opera. Worst case is he spends the rest of his life arranging dinner parties for her as she moves from magazines to television to movies.
Sacrifices? What sacrifices? This guy didn't do anything! No cleaning, cooking, laundry, changing the baby's clothes, nothing. He was a freeloading bum who sat at home all day!
If he at least showed some ambition towards film-making, maybe she would have had a little more respect for him but he couldn't even do that! And I don't think it would have been that difficult for him to work on his "craft" while taking care of a child. Little children don't have to stay indoors all of the time.
My guess would be that her new boyfriend is younger and better looking.
Lack of respect, lust, jealously, disappointment with one's self, selfishness.
S*x has always sold but I believe that we have crossed a threshold into "normal" or polite society.
I will be the first to admit that I really enjoy the ladies, alot. And the ladies, they're putting it out there, big time.
It's different from when I was younger and it's not because as women age they become, how you say, "more free"?, they start young and go downhill quickly.
There are women that are not taken to it but are still affected by the trend.
I've scene it close up, they ask, "where are the men chasing me, buying me things, taking me places..." ? And why not? it's in the magazine, the paper, the movies, the tv, the workplace, the neighborhood. Women in their 30's are suddenly critical about wasting their lives not being where they want to be but it is selfishness. The don't want a family, they don't want children they only want for themselves and they want what (they think) others have...
and I am not any better.
Most modern poetry has to be translated even after it’s been translated.
There is no indication hubby #2 is any more interested in a job than hubby #1 was. She said she couldn’t be proud of her (first) husband because she didn’t like being “the man” in the relationship. And somehow that’s all going to change because the latest loser cleans up well and looks good in a suit?
Actually she doesn't marry the same type of guy.
Her former husband was not satisfied to be a stay-at-home dad, was embarrassed about it, let it effect his marriage AND his wife's outlook.
The man she married afterward is completely satisfied with being a stay-at-home dad and makes no bones about it.
Was she right to dump the first husband? I don't think so. That is one thing that is wrong with todays society. There is no sense of committment in many marriages. It's not, "till death do us part", it's, "till our concerns of the day take us apart".
Marriage is not something to be gone into lightly. When vows are said in front of family and G*d, to me those vows are made to be kept, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, through the good times AND the bad times.
Just my 2 cents worth.
I've spent afternoons translating poetry. Not Neruda, but Schiller.
Well, if you've ever been married, you can test Jesus' words against your experience.
I find that sacrificing my personal preferences to my wife's can be tiring in the short run, but more deeply gratifying in the long run. And sometimes I find that she's actually right (!). Placing my preferences over my wife's is pleasurable momentarily, but unsatisfying in the long run. At the very least, a habit of self-sacrifice strengthens the will. One is freed to do what is right, and less bound by one's base appetites.
Now, it's not wise to always give in to your spouse regarding personal preferences, but it's a good general rule. Most people err the other way. And non-negotiables should almost always not be negotiated.
Beta husbands have a smaller cartridge.
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