Posted on 08/22/2007 2:23:11 PM PDT by VA Voter
So this gnu walks into a bar, orders a beer, and starts tiling the floor.
Bartender says “He’s a typical gnu, and a tiler, too”
What’s the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a woman’s track team?
One’s a bunch of cunning runts and the other is a bunch of running.... oh never mind.
What do you call a dwarf novelist writing under an asumed name?
A Gnome d’ Plume.
Lura is on vacation in the Russian mountains, and decides to nude sunbathe on her balcony. She gets a bad sunburn, and goes to the doctor. She wants to know if she should go on a weeklong horseback riding trip with her boyfriend, or make up some story why she can’t go. Doc says:
“Tour all Ural Lura? Too raw Lura, lie”
I hate the ones which obviously involved no effort at all:
Time wounds all heals.
A bunch of ZAPPY headed hos?
My daughter’s teacher told her, “You remind me of young me.” Then he paused and said, “She was a Chinese girl in my class last year.”
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
The pickpocket snatches watches.
Free ham?
Over The Cliff by Hugo First.
The Cat’s Revenge by Claude Bottom.
Modern Giants by Hugh Mungous.
Rusty Bedsprings by I.P. Nightly.
Chicken Dishes by Nora Drumsticks.
Slept Right Throught It by R.E. Classes.
Severed Joints by Arm Less.
Outer Space by A. Leanne.
Women Rule by Iam Write.
The End of the World by Armageddin Outtahere
Blonde Hair by Bim Bow
Hide and Seek by I.C. You
Dangerous Animals by Mann Eaters
I’m Gods Gift to Women by P. Rick
Advanced Maths by Smart E. Pants
Bubbles in the Bathtub by Ivor Windybottom.
A Stitch in Time by Justin Case
Chest Pain by I. Coffalot
Bad Falls by Eileen Dover
Run to the Loo by Willie Makeit
Body Parts by Anne Atomy
Drinking Problems by Imorf Mihead
Waste Dumps by I. Saw
Chauvinistic Men by A. Lone
Where’s the Toilet by Ivona Tinkle
Holiday Spots by Sandie Beaches
Drinking Problems by Al Coholic
Somethings Out There by Will B. Watchinu
A lot of Rain by Ingar Land
Free Willy by Freda Wale
One Night Stands by Amanda Use
Uncomfortable Feelings by Jock Strap
Erotic Adventures by Oliver Klozoff.
Moon Phases by Seymour Butts
How to Get Rid of Unwanted Guests by Bea O’Problem
Land Ahoy by I.C.Fields
Great Sex by Ivana humpalot
Sexual Organs by Jenna Talia
How to jump off a cliff : The Professional Way by Sue E. Sidel
Become a comedian: The Easy Way by Joe King
Rough Sex by Ben Twilly
I want to Become a Woman NOW!!! by Paul Mcokof
Donaters Get Ready by Ivan A. Bolock
I can’t Think Properly by Dick Head
How to be a Problem in the Army by Major Asshole
I Will Get my Revenge by Yule B. Sari
Causing a Mess at a Dinner Party by Cho Kon It
Bubbles in the Bath by Ivor Windybottom
How to get rich by Robin Banks
The secret life of Lemmings by Hugo First
Glass Houses by Eva Brick
Flea Circus by Ivan Elovanitch
Why didn’t Rosie O get the job at the U.N.?
The ad was for a cunning linguist.
What's the difference between a pick pocket, and a peeping tom?
A pick pocket snatches watches....
Hear about the woman that backed into an airplane propeller?
Disaster!
Two guys walk into a bar.
You'd think the second guy would duck....
Good one.
And what’s the difference between a Ritz Cracker and a lesbian?
One’s a snack cracker, and the other is a crack snacker.
(wait, can I say that here?)
You beat me to it! LOL!
What lies on the bottom of the ocean
Q, What is twelve feet long and pink
Lies on the bottom of the ocean?
A Moby Dick
Can you say that here?
Briefly.
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