Why I'm Backing Rudy Guiliani (Burt Prelutsky's Conservative Case For Mr. Mayor Alert)

Because I'm convinced that, come November of 2008, Hillary Clinton will be the presidential candidate of the Socialist Party, so I think it's particularly important that the Republicans nominate Rudy Giuliani. I will admit that I have been waiting to see if Fred Thompson was going to toss his hat in the ring, but I finally got sick and tired of waiting. The guy's about 6-foot-5 and probably weighs 280; which doesn't hurt when he's portraying a New York City D.A., but he's simply not cut out to play a coquette.

There are other attractive candidates in the GOP, but I happen to believe Rudy has the best chance of defeating Clinton in a general election. I realize for some conservatives, he might be a bit hard to swallow. I realize he was in favor of abortions before he was against them and that he was anti-guns before he was for them, and that while he was mayor, New York was a so-called sanctuary city. But it bears keeping in mind that if you plan to win an election in New York City, it behooves you to be liberal when it comes to social issues. At least, unlike Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who gives opportunism a bad name, Rudy didn't switch from Democrat to Republican to Independent. I woke up rather late this morning, so I'm not certain what Bloomberg is today. Perhaps a Whig.

There are many things I like about Giuliani. For one thing, I like the way he sounds. After all these years of listening to Bush, I find myself longing for a president who doesn't sound like he has a mouth filled with mush, a president who doesn't require a translator to explain an hour after a press conference what he really meant to say.

After 9/11, I liked it when Giuliani told Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal where to stick his $10 million check. And when my wife and I visited New York City some years ago, I appreciated the fact that Giuliani had managed to transform what had been a pigsty into a crown jewel, a major city that was as clean and safe and friendly as any in the world.

What I like best about Giuliani is that I believe he agrees with me that Islamic terrorism is the single greatest threat not only to America, but to Western Civilization, in the world today. I think he's the kind of guy who doesn't back down and who can rally Americans to do whatever it takes to stay the course and defeat an enemy that should have been exterminated during the Dark Ages, along with the plague-bearing rats.

I know many of my fellow conservatives will have a hard time giving their hearts and their votes to a man who isn't far enough to the right to suit them, even though he said that, if elected, he would appoint strict constructionists to the Supreme Court. When I first heard that, I sent an e-mail to a person with a prominent role in his campaign hierarchy, suggesting that American voters are accustomed to candidates forgetting their promises once they're in the White House.

My suggestion was that, in order to prove his sincerity, Giuliani should put it in writing. I never heard back, but a while later, that's exactly what he did. Inasmuch as the greatest legacy Bush will leave us is the Roberts Court, it seems to me if Rudy keeps this one promise, it's reason enough for conservatives to troop out and vote for the man. What right-wingers should keep uppermost in mind is that whether the issue is abortions or guns, eminent domain or racial quotas, it's not the president who makes the call, it's five people in black robes.

As for those who are overly concerned that Rudy hasn't always been on the right side, the far right side, all I can say, as someone who voted for Democrats for far too many years, is that it's a lot more important where a person ends up than where he started out.

Finally, I like Rudy Giuliani because in a city that takes its baseball seriously, and in which even Mets fans get to vote, he never made a secret of the fact that his heart belonged to the Yankees.

I realize that when Hillary, the carpetbagger from Arkansas, decided to run for the Senate, she also claimed to be a Yankees fan. The difference is Rudy actually attends games, whereas Mrs. Clinton thought that Lou Gehrig and Babe Ruth were still wearing pinstripes.

This article is so replete with superficial reasons to vote for Guiliani it warrants no serious considerations other than to point out the obvious weak arguments the writer presents.

First, the exalted hero mayor, is running for president for the most self serving reasons there is...he’s cashing in. He did a good job during and post 911 and that should earn him a stature of himself somewhere in NY...nothing more. He acted like a buffoon during his mayorship and if anyone thinks that his cross dressing and other displays of foolishness wouldn’t be exploited by the opposition, is living in a world with purple and pink skies.

To suggest that Fred Thompson is just too gosh darn intimidating because of height and presentation would make one think the writer has issues with authority figures and would prefer the more effete to feel less threatened. ‘Rudy’ would, most certainly, fit his qualifications.

The most ridiculous qualification the writer puts forth for the preference of ‘Rudy’ over other candidates is over his choice of a baseball team. That statement alone should indicate the level of seriousness his whole statement deserves.

By the way, goldstate, you should be aware and more concerned about the political process starting a year too early than to lulled into thinking it’s Fred Thompson who is starting too late.

Guiliani would guarantee a Clinton/Obama win in ‘08.

“According to a new AP poll, the most popular presidential candidate among registered Republicans is ‘none of the above.’ At the moment, Rudy Giuliani is running third, just behind ‘Good Lord, not him.’” —Conan O’Brien

“In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani said his dreams of becoming a priest ended when he realized he couldn’t give up having sex. Ironically, that’s also what ended his first and second marriages.” —Jay Leno

Daily Show correspondent John Oliver, on lightning striking when Rudy Giuliani was speaking about abortion at the GOP debate: “No, it was not a coincidence. That was divine endorsement. Or, in this case, God saying, ‘Vote for anybody but Rudy Giuliani.’ And God said onto the people of New Hampshire, ‘a thrice-married New York City cross-dresser, oh, for the love of me.’”

“Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani says he believes in a woman’s right to choose, and he’s shown that time and time again when it comes to choosing women. He’s likes to have his choice. I think this is his third one.” —Jay Leno

“Other frontrunners tried to turn a blue background into a red bona fide [on screen: Rudy Giuliani saying, ‘According to George Will, I ran the most conservative government in the last 50 years in New York City’]. Wow. You ran the most conservative government in 50 years in New York City? Congratulations on being the thinnest guy at fat camp.” —Jon Stewart

“When reporters of the Associated Press recently asked some of presidential candidates what their favorite reality shows were, Mitt Romney said ‘American Idol.’ Joe Biden said he didn’t have a favorite show. And surprisingly, Rudy Giuliani picked ‘Wife Swap.’” —Jay Leno

“Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani is paying his wife $125,000 a year to help him write his speeches. She’s writing his speeches for him ... and you can tell. Like last week, he gave a speech about what awful bitches the first two wives were.” —Jay Leno

“Rudy Giuliani ... now leads Senator McCain in the latest polls by 22 points. 22. Or, as Giuliani himself might phrase it, ‘Twice the number of points as the day of the month on which the World Trade Center was attacked while I was mayor. Did I mention I was mayor ... when the world was attacked ... on 9/11?’” —Jon Stewart

“In a speech in Alabama, Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani said the one thing about him that you can count on is that we he makes a decision, he sticks with it. You don’t believe him? You can ask either of his two ex-wives.” —Jay Leno

“Giuliani said he wants to make it clear he is not in favor of gay marriage. He believes marriage should be between a man and a woman, no matter how many times it takes them to get it right” —Jay Leno

“Rudy Giuliani says the press can attack him all they want, but they should lay off his wife. Giuliani added, ‘I just mean this wife. It’s open season on the first two.’” —Conan O’Brien

“Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani is lashing out at the press, asking the press to lay off his wife. The press responded today. They said, ‘Okay. Which one?’” —Jay Leno

“We’re now finding out where all the candidates met their spouses. Barack Obama met his wife at a law firm. John McCain met his wife at a Naval officersÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ dance. And Rudy Giuliani met his third wife when he was cheating on his first wife with his second wife.” —Jay Leno

“Rudy Giuliani, the Republican frontrunner, was in the news today. ... We thought Rudy Giuliani was [his third wife’s] second husband. It turns out it’s her third husband. He’ll never forget 9/11. But anniversaries, he’s got to write those down. ... In addition to this, Rudy’s first wife was his cousin. And they say a New Yorker can’t win in the South.” —Bill Maher

“In an interview, Rudy Giuliani’s wife admitted that Rudy Giuliani is not her second husband, but actually her third husband. She forgot about her first husband. But Rudy understands, when they started dating, he forgot he had a wife too.” —Jay Leno

“While you folks were applauding, Mrs. Giuliani remembered another marriage.” —David Letterman

“Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani said today that the toughest part about getting married to his current wife was finding a wedding song that they both haven’t used before.” —Jay Leno

“Rudy Giuliani has defended Newt Gingrich, saying it’s okay Newt had an affair and that no one is perfect. That’s when you know the Republicans are in trouble — when a guy with three marriages and an affair is defending the guy with three marriages and two affairs, so they can team up and beat a Clinton.” —Jay Leno

“You all excited about the 2008 presidential election? There’s some interesting potential matchups. For example, Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani. ... On the one hand, you have a pushy New Yorker with a history marital problems. Or, you have a pushy New Yorker with a history marital problems.” —David Letterman

“The field’s already getting crowded with candidates. Everyone knows about Hillary and McCain, but who else has a shot? On the Republican side, Rudy Giuliani. Hero. 9/11. Time person of the year. Member of the comb over club. But also a member of the New York, divorced, pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-stem cell research, gay-friendly wing of the Republican Party. I’m sorry, did I say wing? I meant room. Did I say room? I meant corner. Did I say corner? I meant table — for one.” —Jon Stewart

“In 2008, Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City, may run for president. And if elected, he’ll take a no-nonsense approach to Iraq. And the first thing he’s going to do over there is get rid of the squeegee guys.” —David Letterman

“In presidential news, somebody leaked Rudy Giuliani’s entire 140-page campaign plan to the press. Giuliani is calling it a dirty trick. He said it was stolen while he was in Florida. Which is not the first time a presidential race has been stolen in Florida.” —Jay Leno

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