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Immigration Reform! (Satire)
Scooter's Report ^ | 5-18-07 | Scooter Van Neuter

Posted on 05/18/2007 10:43:18 AM PDT by Digital Disaster

TGIF peeps.

Let's get right to the news:

In a spectacular show of bipartisanship, Senate members of both parties have finished drafting broad immigration legislation. Senator Edward M. Kennedy, Massachusetts Democrat and chief sponsor of the draft, said at a news conference, "This agreement is the best possible chance we will have in years to secure our borders, bring millions of people out of the shadows and into the sunshine of America." In an embarrassing open microphone incident afterward, Senator Kennedy added, "...you bet your ass that sunshine will be in my front and back yards. Damn, those Beaners can shape a hedge!"

Two controversial aspects of the legislation are the proposed "Z visa," which would allow present illegal aliens and their families the right to live permanently in this country, and a required $5000 fine. While many conservatives claim the visa is nothing less than amnesty, Nancy Pelosi disagreed and angrily remarked, " Forcing my voters to file for this document places an undo hardship on a proud people already overburdened with trying to wire money back to Mexico." She went on, "However, I have no problem with the $5000 fine as it would be offset by my proposed $6000 "immigration grant," free health care, and $4000 vehicle allowance. It's the least we can do for these hardworking and disadvantaged voters."

In the upcoming weeks this proposed legislation is sure to fuel a tremendous amount of debate on Capitol Hill, and Scooter's Report will be there to cover it all.

Scooter peace out.



TOPICS: Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: democrats; immigration; kennedy; zvisa
The real story, straight from Scooter. Enjoy!
1 posted on 05/18/2007 10:43:20 AM PDT by Digital Disaster
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To: Digital Disaster
I LUV open mikes!

Bump....

Leni

2 posted on 05/18/2007 10:49:54 AM PDT by MinuteGal
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To: Digital Disaster
I wish I could laugh and find this humorous. But the issue is too damm serious. The disconnected elites have no clue how this turd will destroy this nation. The US as a constitutional republic will cease to exist in less than 15 years.

STOP AMNESTY NOW!! WE CAN DO IT!!

3 posted on 05/18/2007 10:52:19 AM PDT by Cacique (quos Deus vult perdere, prius dementat ( Islamia Delenda Est ))
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To: Cacique

Congress is trying their best to push the Amnesty bill through as fast as they can so people don’t have a chance to complain about it. People need to really voice their opinions on this. I don’t understand the hurry up attitude on it right now. Who’s getting paid off to push this thing through?


4 posted on 05/18/2007 10:56:11 AM PDT by RC2
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To: Digital Disaster

If the Z visa costs 5,000 get ready for a street crime wave of biblical proportions.


5 posted on 05/18/2007 10:58:35 AM PDT by jpsb
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To: Digital Disaster

We don’t need new legislation - we need to enforce the existing laws.

They are simply creating new laws they won’t enforce.


6 posted on 05/18/2007 11:00:05 AM PDT by edcoil (Reality doesn't say much - doesn't need too)
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To: Digital Disaster
Multi-millions of illegal AND LEGAL Aliens VOTING DEMOCRAT in 2008 IS NOT FUNNY..

Another thing NOT FUNNY is that ALL republican officials could care LESS about this.. The voting demographics of America will be changed AND IS changed for a hundred years ALREADY NOW..

The massive voter fraud of the past decade will pail next the the voter fraud of 2008 and probably 2006 as well..

7 posted on 05/18/2007 11:09:07 AM PDT by hosepipe (CAUTION: This propaganda is laced with hyperbole....)
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To: hosepipe

Correct!


8 posted on 05/18/2007 11:56:02 AM PDT by stephenjohnbanker ( Hunter/Thompson/Thompson/Hunter in 08! "Read my lips....No new RINO's" !!)
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To: Digital Disaster; TommyDale; indylindy

"Shut that trimmah off, Pedro. I'm amending the bill.
You and your entire family here and in Mexico will
get $15,000 each for admitting you're illegals.
You okay with that, amigo?"

9 posted on 05/18/2007 12:04:59 PM PDT by Liz (Rudy Giuliani: Guinness World Record for Having The Most Positions on Abortion.)
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To: Liz; TommyDale

I wish that Mexican would use that trimmer on the swimmers neck!


10 posted on 05/18/2007 12:07:25 PM PDT by dforest (Fighting the new liberal Conservatism. The Left foot in the GOP door.)
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To: indylindy

Now, now. Just toss him in the pool and the trimmer with him, while plugged in. Swimmer’s demise.


11 posted on 05/18/2007 12:10:13 PM PDT by TommyDale (More Americans are killed each day in the U.S. by abortion than were killed on 9/11 !)
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To: Digital Disaster

Great!


12 posted on 05/18/2007 1:34:42 PM PDT by TBP
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To: indylindy

Looks like he’s going for Teddy’s mouth.


13 posted on 05/18/2007 2:13:49 PM PDT by Liz (Rudy Giuliani: Guinness World Record for Having The Most Positions on Abortion.)
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To: Liz

Liz, Teddy has had more in his mouth than you or I would care to know!

LOL!


14 posted on 05/18/2007 2:35:18 PM PDT by dforest (Fighting the new liberal Conservatism. The Left foot in the GOP door.)
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