Posted on 04/20/2007 5:22:18 AM PDT by shrinkermd
...In modern America, there's always plenty of trauma to go around. Even if you knew no one involved in the shootings, have never been to Virginia and can't tell the difference between a Hokie and a Wahoo, there's no need for you to feel left out.
Did you feel sad when you heard the news? Did you ponder, however fleetingly, the mystery of mortality? If so, don't just go on with your ordinary life as if nothing has happened to disrupt it (even though nothing has happened to disrupt it). Honor your grief! Attend a candlelight vigil, post a poignant message on one of MySpace's Virginia Tech memorial pages and please, seek trauma counseling as soon as possible.
Convincing ourselves that we've been vicariously traumatized by the pain of strangers has become a cherished national pastime. Thus, the Washington Post this week accompanied online stories about the shooting with a clickable sidebar, "Where to Find Support" — apparently on the assumption that the mere experience of glancing at articles about the tragedy would be so emotionally devastating that readers would require trained therapists.
At the University of Buffalo, more than 500 miles from Virginia Tech, university counselors announced that they were "reaching out to students feeling affected by … the tragedy." In Dallas, area chaplains rushed (uninvited) to Blacksburg, Va., to "be part of the healing process."
Count me out. There's something fraudulent about this eagerness to latch onto the grief of others and embrace the idea that we, too, have been victimized. This trivializes the pain felt by those who have actually lost something and pathologizes normal reactions to tragedy. Empathy is good, but feeling shocked and saddened by the shootings doesn't make us traumatized or special — these feelings make us normal.
(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...
It doesn't really surprise me at all...personal character has a lot to do with how we acquit ourselves when confronted with adversity, and our integrity is not put to the test when everything is going fine. In the most affluent, secure and stable society in history, people tend to become filled with self-doubt about the kind of person they are, and if they can associate themselves with an incident like this, they can then congratulate themselves on how they handled it, without ever actually placing themselves in any physical or moral danger.
It’s easier to comprehend accidental deaths than something like this. Cho makes people feel vulnerable.
As for collective mourning.....I understand the kids at VT wanting others to share their pain. They’re young and their world has been changed for all time.
I won’t criticize them.
We are a nation of hardworking, generous people who are the first to help others in need.
This outpouring of grief will subside and everyone will go back to their own lives. Raising their children, helping their neighbors, praying for friends in poor health, and doing all they can to be good citiizens.
Sorry you see America as such a terrible place. I pity you.
Please don’t....we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one
Not at all the same thing! I thought my description was clear enough, but I do apologize for the misunderstanding. I'm talking about whenever something tragic happens you get one of these "let's light candles, hold hands, and sing kumbaya" type events that are very shallow. I live near Chapel Hill, NC and Lord knows I see these things all the time for the cause du jour.
What's going on at Olney, Walter Reed, etc... that's quite different.
jw
Here here. The students and faculty have been in my thoughts and prayers since Monday. I have felt sad about it, and I don't think there's a thing wrong with that.
I have been particularly touched by the story of Liviu Librescu. I am a college teacher myself and have asked myself a thousand times "Would I have the courage to do what he did?". The answer is always "I don't know". I made a little memorial poster of him and put it up outside my office. Sometimes I get a little misty-eyed when I think about what he did.
Flame away
Not for those involved. I never like to see schools hire all these psychologists and "grief councilors" to come in and bug people at these times. But I think that these "worthless vigils" as you call them give these kids something to keep them busy while they are still in shock. I think they're a great deal more healthy than visiting the hired grief people. I've always thought that during these awful periods, talking to beloved friends and family does a lot more than unknown, temporary and paid "professionals." And vigils keeps them busy, planning and interacting with others which in the long run is a much better way to deal with grief.
Okay, fair enough, but if they need to be busy and interacting with others and with friends and family I still don’t think these “vigils” are the answer. -jw
Not for you, obviously, but they mean something to these kids. We all grieve in different ways. Plus, I find age has a lot to do with it. I’m older, jaded and hopefully, see what’s important in life. When you’re young like these folks are, you’re still learning that. And you have emotions that hang all over you.
It is my prayer that this teacher will get 150 years in prison.
32 people were murdered at VT the other day. Since that day approx. 431 people have died in automobile accidents, 158 of them killed by drunk drivers, which in many cases is akin to murder. Is the grief of those families latched on to by the nation as a whole? Is that grief any less severe?
Actually, I wasn't talking about accidental deaths, I was talking about murders. Awful murders happen every day in this country.
As for collective mourning.....I understand the kids at VT wanting others to share their pain. They’re young and their world has been changed for all time.
I won’t criticize them.
I'm not criticizing folks who have a personal connection to the tragedy. It's the folks who don't. I have a friend who is this type. After 9/11 she immediately drove to NYC because she "had to be there with the victims" even though she didn't know anyone. She was one of the people urging me to wear the colors today even though she has no connection to VT. Whenever there is a tragedy, she has to be part of it. Just my opinion but I think its weird to act like this when you have no personal connection to a situation. I have a parent right now who is terminally ill with cancer. I know what personal grief is and there is no comparison. At least I'm honest about it.
From her article: "On the day of the Virginia Tech shooting, for instance, Army Sgt. Mario K. De Leon of San Francisco (like the Virginia Tech victims) died of "wounds sustained from enemy small-arms fire"). On Wednesday, car bombs killed at least 172 people in Baghdad. But no one has set up a special MySpace page to commemorate those dead.
"Lumping together the space shuttle disasters, Columbine and Virginia Tech with terrorism, natural disasters and war dangerously decontextualizes these disparate events.
The author decries something that is really a product of the MSM, which is largely responsible for this feeling of victimhood. It is very hard to separate such "national" events from others like the Oklahoma City bombing, 9/11, Katrina, etc. It is the MSM that keeps a daily total of our dead in Iraq, which treats them more like victims that soldiers dying for their country. These boxscores for our dead in Iraq resemble similar tallies for crime and traffic accidents.
What happened at VA Tech and Columbine are national tragedies. I am sure that the author would have a different view if they were committed by white recists against a minority. The idea that we should grieve or feel the same connection about 172 deaths in Iraq is nonsense.
The Virginia Tech massacre was catastrophic for the victims and their loved ones, but, unlike war, it was not catastrophic for the nation. Yet President Bush — who refuses to attend the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq because that might "politicize" the war his administration started — ordered all federal flags at half-staff and rushed to Blacksburg to bemoan the "day of sadness for the entire nation." It's a good strategy. People busy holding candlelight vigils for the deaths in Blacksburg don't have much time left over to protest the war in Iraq.
It is obvious that the author feels frustrated that she cannot turn this tragedy into something that can buttress her causes. Bush is made into some sort of evil strategist who is manipulating events to shift the focus away from protests against the war in Iraq.
The insistence on collective mourning even operates to depoliticize the Virginia Tech tragedy. Those who made the mistake of suggesting that the massacre might lead us to consider tighter gun regulation were quickly told to shut up because this is "a moment for grief," not politics. But we live in a political world. Searching for policies that can reduce the violence that plagues our world, at home and abroad, is the best way to honor the dead. Second best? Let's at least stop pretending that we're victims too.
And finally, la piece de resistance. This column is an excellent insight into the workings of the liberal mind and perspective. Everything must be viewed through the prism of politics.
Read the entire article and you see how vile it really is.
What do you have a connection with? Do you think it was "weird" to have a connection with the Oklahoma City bombing? 9/11? Flight 93? the deaths of our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan? The Katrina victims?
What I find more disturbing is the atomization of our society and the lack of a national identity. It has become all about me and unless I have a direct personal connection to an event, it isn't relevant or important. If a plane goes into the Pentagon and I live in LA, so what? We are becoming less a nation, and more a collection of individuals and strangers.
"No man is an island, entire of itself every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were,
as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind
and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee."
Have you read the entire article?
I can’t believe some of the comments on this thread. The only explanation I can come up with is that they have not read the entire article. It is one of the most vile liberal hit pieces I have ever seen in a MSM publication.
“And quite frankly, all these “vigils” (not just for VT) are worthless. Libs are great at them... crawl out, show “support”, crawl back.”
Hmmm, I didn’t personally know anybody who died on 9/11. I guess I was wrong to go to vigils for that?
There’s a big difference between grieving for someone you’ve known your entire life versus someone that you’ve never even met. Sorry, you don’t get that. I prayed for the VA tech victims and I will do so again this Sunday in church. I absolutely feel sorry for the victims and their families but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to be running around in VT colors placing teddy bears everywhere. Frankly, I think that actual praying to God is a more thoughtful act.
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