Posted on 04/16/2007 9:26:36 PM PDT by goldstategop
Within hours of the massacre of more than 30 people at Virginia Tech University, the president of the university issued his first statement on the evil that had just engulfed the college campus and concluded with this:
"We're making plans for a convocation tomorrow at noon in Cassell Coliseum for the university to come together to begin the healing process from this terrible tragedy."
In this photo provided by the Collegiate Times, ambulances wait on the Virginia Tech campus in Blacksburg, Va., following multiple shootings, Monday, April 16, 2007. At least 30 people have been reported killed. (AP Photo/Collegiate Times) Other university officials also spoke about beginning the healing process and about bringing in counselors to help students heal.
I believe that this early healing talk is both foolish and immoral.
It is foolish because one does not speak about healing the same day (or week or perhaps even month) that one is traumatized -- especially by evil. One must be allowed time for anger and grief. To speak of healing and "closure" before one goes through those other emotions is to speak not of healing but of suppression.
Not to allow people time to experience their natural, and noble, instincts to feel rage and grief actually deprives them of the ability to heal in the long run. After all, if there is no rage and grief, what is there to heal from?
The Jewish tradition, still observed even by non-Orthodox Jews, is to sit "shiva" (seven) days and do nothing but mourn and receive visitors after the death of an immediate relative. One does not have to be a religious Jew or even a Jew to appreciate this ancient wisdom.
It is not good for people to feign normalcy immediately after the loss of a loved one. People who have not been allowed, or not allowed themselves, time to grieve suffer later on. Any child who loses a parent and is "protected" from grieving by a well-intentioned parent who tries to act "normal" right after the other parent's death is likely to pay a steep psychological price.
Personally, I don't want to heal now. I want to feel rage at the monster who slaughtered all those young innocent people at Virginia Tech. And I want to grieve over those innocents' deaths.
This whole notion of instant healing (like its twin, instant forgiveness) is also morally wrong.
First, it is narcissistic. It focuses on me and my pain, not on the murderer and the murdered.
Second, it is almost obscene to talk of our healing when the bodies of the murdered are still lying in their blood on the very spot they were slaughtered. Our entire focus of attention must be on them and on the unspeakable suffering of their loved ones, not on the pain of the student body and the Virginia Tech "community."
This notion of instant healing and preoccupation with the feelings of the peripherally involved, as opposed to the feelings of the directly hurt and anger over the evil committed, are functions of the psychotherapeutic culture in which we live.
I am an advocate of psychotherapy -- I frequently feature a psychiatrist as a guest on my radio show. But a major downside of the psychotherapeutic culture is that it regards everything in life in psychological terms and is preoccupied with feelings and the elimination of pain.
Pain is necessary. I far prefer a Virginia Tech campus filled with students enraged at the monstrous evil just committed and filled with grief over the deaths of so many of their fellow students than a Virginia Tech filled with students worried about healing their own pain.
Immediate talk of "healing" is not the only rhetoric we should drop. Let's also drop the nearly universal moral absurdity of counting murderers among the dead. As of this writing, eight hours after the massacre, I see on all the networks "32 dead." It should read "31 murdered." I do not know when exactly this notion of counting murderers along with their victims began, but it is a moral travesty.
No news organization would have imagined giving the number of dead at Pearl Harbor so as to include Japanese pilots shot down. But in our age of moral neutrality, all dead are given equal weight -- the terrorist along with his victims; the shooter along with the students.
Why is the Virginia Tech murderer always referred to as the "gunman" and not the "murderer"? Had he stabbed a dozen students to death, would he be the "knifeman"?
And why is it always referred to as a "tragedy"? Virginia Tech wasn't hit by a cyclone. That would be a tragedy. This was evil. Call it that.
We have embraced emotion-numbing, righteous-rage-denying, morally neutered, therapeutic language. It is as as much a part of our national crisis as are the acts of evil we refuse to identify as such.
...”We have embraced emotion-numbing, righteous-rage-denying, morally neutered, therapeutic language. It is as as much a part of our national crisis as are the acts of evil we refuse to identify as such”...
Yes! Physical wounds have to go through an inflamation process brought about by the human immune system before healing can occur. I believe the sadness and grief we experience during times of crisis are a part of our “emotional inflamation process,” equally as important to our emotional and psychological healing as our immune system is for our physical healing. Any effort which causes individuals to suppress the expression of emotional pain in response to terrible events is doing a great injustice to the sufferer.
Thank you for posting this article, and thank you for your words. My father died In January, and I have bad dreams every night I can remember them. Before the funeral, the minister said he wanted it to be happy (or words to that effect) - my brothers nodded. I walked out of the church office...
On 911, after flew over my city of Pittsburgh and crashed in Shanksville, I went home from work and the first change I noticed was peace signs drawn on the sidewalk outside the bookstore. I was furious.
I too, believe he is correct. However, when he speaks of anger, my question is - anger at what? For years I have felt a rage inside me at the evil done against our country and citizens and those who let it continue. How do I release this anger and where can I direct it?
Well Prager may have gotten it right in this written article, but I was not impressed with his commentary around the lunch hour on the radio yesterday...
Mr. Prager, you cannot have it both ways...You may come across as fairly compelling and insightful, but balancing across a razors edge can hurt you over time...
Sure this is a tragedy, and one that can be confidently laid at the dead feet of the person responsible for taking all of these lives...And that the periferal actions and inactions by the VT administration and its staff are responsible for fixing it...
Mr Heckler (on your VT staff) can be fired right now...Do it today for the remarks he is on record for openly supporting the fight against the legislation that would have saved lives in this incident...
Anyone who says that it “might have” saved lives if the students and staff had had the ability to “choose” to carry a firearm for self defensive purposes are in denial...
The only way to counter people like this is to be aggressive against it...Barring doors, and cowering in the corners is passive, and irresponsible teachings...If you don’t have the guts to stand up and fight, fine...
The people on Flight 93 eventually got the idea...And with the knowledge that they might not make it...They saved lives in their sacrifice...
Thats the kind of teaching that needs to be honored and ingrained into the filiments of our being from day one...It is not a fatalistic doomsday type of life or existance, it is a way of life that says I honor life, and will sacrifice my own if I can save another...
But alas, we will once again (till the next “tragedy”) see the lines of candle-lit tears stream across our TV’s for the next few days, then a one year anniversary...then...then...
I really feel for the victims here, and their families...This hurts more than anything, but to know that it could have been lessened, is the true tragedy...
I have no pity, concern for the shooter, his family or friends, and to those who could have had and encouraged a system in place, a mindset of self-determination, resposibility and a value for the preservation of life that might have very well made a difference in avoiding the tremendous loss of life yesterday...
But for now...We light candles...
Well stated!!!
Also, the grief counseling. I live in Pittsburgh and I couldn't believe that the University of Pennsylvania is offering grief counseling to students troubled by the events in Blacksburg, VA. Like Prager said, it's not about the students in Pennsylvania or elsewhere.
Then I left KDKA on while I went back to sleep and awoke to a maniac talking on and on about post traumatic stress syndrome. It was Dr. Phil on the CBS morning show and once you get that guy started, he doesn't stop.
Having said that, to all those directed affected by this murderous man (the Asian, not Dr. Phil), my prayers are with them that God will spread his merciful arms around them, allow them to grieve in His arms and to have true support to comfort them.
Maybe that's part of the reason of the rash of "conspiracy theories" about 9/11. (and I'm not discounting the "hate Bush" aspect of it all one bit.) Society expected everyone to forgive and forget, oh about a week after the event.
Well, we sure did and forgot about the evildoers and the souls that jumped 110 floors to their death and the humans maimed for life and the others crushed by 2 gigantic skyscrapers. So undigested grief comes out sideways.
We live in a country where wringing our hands and crying oh woe is me is supposedly appropriate for the most trivial and wrong reasons, but must heal and have this undefinable sense of closure post haste if we are confronted with true evil.
“...a time to heal...a time to mourn...”. Separate processes noted in Ecclesiastes 3:1-15.
As most are stating here, the mourning process is very necessary before any healing can begin.
“The Jewish tradition, still observed even by non-Orthodox Jews, is to sit “shiva” (seven) days and do nothing but mourn and receive visitors after the death of an immediate relative. One does not have to be a religious Jew or even a Jew to appreciate this ancient wisdom. “
True for Jews and any other human being!
“It is not good for people to feign normalcy immediately after the loss of a loved one. People who have not been allowed, or not allowed themselves, time to grieve suffer later on. Any child who loses a parent and is “protected” from grieving by a well-intentioned parent who tries to act “normal” right after the other parent’s death is likely to pay a steep psychological price.”
I was not able to articulate my concerns about Bindi, Stever Irwins daughter as well as this but he sums it up for me. It is UNHEALTHY for Bindi - what she is doing now ... and she WILL pay the price later for NOT having a time to grieve and have a NORMAL childhood.
LOve this guy!
He is right on in the wisdom department.
Word!
dunno.
i feel the same.
it comes up when i talk to my neighbors, many of whom are retired. they sit around all day watching tv.
they believe what they see on tv. they love rosie and oprah.
they all vote democrap.
if they voted 50% dem and 50% rep, then i’d feel ok. it’d feel that the media was fair.
consequently, i do not feel the media is fair. witness mike nifong. were not the media to protect us from the abuses of government? not, dude! they supported nifong’s craziness and reverse racism.
also, like you, i felt rage inside when the media destroyed the vietnam war before our eyes. lbj: “if i’ve lost walter, i’ve lost the war.” well, uh...duh, turns out walter kronkite was a leftist. the whole show was rigged. “the most trusted man in america” was a commie.
ditto iraq. out media worked against us and gave solace to our enemies. but my tv-moron neighbors understand not why this bothers me.
my tv neighbors hate rush limbaugh and bill o’reilly. and, they wouldn’t mind if these were taken off the air.
thanks for your post.
Listen to his radio show. Probably the most clear thinking radio host when it comes to the human condition.
FMCDH(BITS)
It is a huge disservice to continue to teach our young people that “someone else” will protect them. It is wrong to believe so, because it is not true.
School security and response could have been much better, but then the leaders themselves seem to think “someone else” is the protector.
And, believe it or not, there are posters on this forum seeking “understanding” and showing sympathy for the murderer....
Well hang on a sec...
If we are going to compare something that we’ve seen on TV, I would call your attention to a contemporary program called Jericho...
In a scene (early on in the series) where everyone got together at the church after the attack, and the character “Mayor Green” got up and adressed the congregation asking them (and he knew everyone already) if they had lost someone in the attack?
Everyone eventually got up, and he measured that with the need for the community to stand up together and fight as one for these losses...As they represented what was important to them, and that to honor them by standing together to meet the challenges ahead, and that their losses reminded them most importantly of their “humanity”...
I thought that was some pretty good writing coming out of Hollywood for a change...
I believe that same approach is needed here...Its just as poigniant, just as tragic, just as painful...
I would just prefer the mainstream media from pimping on the tragedy as much as they do in cases like this...But thats too much to wish for I suppose...
The media is what makes this either more painful for some, or more useless for a certain segment of our community and for that matter our community...
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