Mullahs tug on Superman’s cape
by JohnHuang2
Iranian “president” Mahmoud Ahmaneedajob has been acting hysterical (more than usual) over box-office hit film “300,” crying that the war epic is just an attempt by those smarmy Bushbots swarming in Hollywood to “tamper with history” in order to make “Iran’s image look savage.” You know, like hostage-takers or something. So Iran responds by taking hostages.
There’s only one way to punish the mullahs for this, so Britain retaliated by launching a powerful, precision-guided strongly-worded U.N. resolution, followed by a devastating barrage of press conferences and official statements telling the captors in no uncertain terms that . . . we’re very, very, cross about the whole thing. Release the hostages or else! Or else we’ll get the U.N. to express even more “grave concern.” Maybe even up the ante with the U.N. “deploring” piracy. And a resolution wishing an early resolution to the matter.
The general ‘consensus’ is that the Brits have gotta negotiate their way out of what they didn’t cause, plus it’s very important that ‘diplomacy’ be used to reach a successful conclusion to the current Iranian hostage crisis so we can be ready to resolve the next Iranian hostage crisis. Wash, rinse, repeat.
The Sunday Telegraph reports that Britain’s “ministers are preparing a compromise deal to allow Iran to save face and release” the British military hostages “by promising that the Royal Navy will never knowingly enter Iranian waters without permission.” From the beginning of the latest hostage crisis, the Brits had repeatedly explained that the vast military armada consisting of 15 sailors and Marines in rubber boats had not strayed into Iranian waters, so now the Blair government is prepared to say, in effect, ‘we didn’t do it but we promise Allah never to do it again.’ Never mind that GPS data shows those 15 marauding ‘invaders’ were within Iraq’s maritime boundary and never mind the even more convincing proof the mullahs’ version of what happened is bunk: Widely respected world affairs expert Rosie O’Donnell is backing the mullahs’ version.
On the TV show The View, she accused the British sailors and marines of going “into Iranian waters” — which apparently includes every body of water, from modest-sized rivers to really huge bodies like Rosie O’Donnell — to stage a Gulf of Tonkin-like casus belli. She said this just before revealing that the WTC collapse on 9/11 was Bush’s Reichstag. Reaching into her vast training in building engineering, she explained that steel can’t melt — “physically impossible,” like trying to melt the flab off Rosie O’Donnell. Since steel can’t melt, apparently massive ready-to-install columns of the stuff sprout majestically from iron ore and get plucked by steel mill workers laboring in luscious secret steel gardens in springtime, so obviously moron Bush musta booby trapped the WTC and pulled off the biggest mass murder in U.S. history, masterfully, while forgetting to plant WMDs in Iraq.
In a blog posting dated March 28, Rosie reiterated that “the British did it on purpose. [The Brits] went into Iranian waters. U.S. military build up on the Iranian border. We will be in Iran before summer as planned.” Oh dear, I certainly hope so. Speaking as an Illuminati/Zionist/BushCo hegemonistic imperialist in good standing.
But O’Donnell’s upbeat, rosie-colored assessment could be off the mark. The Sunday Telegraph notes in that same report that part of Britain’s effort to reach a compromise ‘deal’ with the Iranians involves sending to Tehran a “Royal Navy captain or commodore” as some sort of special envoy: “The move, which was discussed at a meeting of White hall’s Cobra crisis committee (recently), came as Downing Street officials explicitly cautioned against hopes of a speedy outcome and said the families of the hostages should be prepared for the ‘long haul.’” Which means it should be over in no more than 444 days.
But maybe Britain has figured out a way to surrender sooner than that because the AP just reported that “Britain has called for direct talks with Iran.”
If you look at the big picture, the lesson in all this is that, for the Brits, it would’ve been over in minutes had the sailors and Marines, based on the HMS Cornwall, not been operating under U.N.-authorized rules of engagement that say ‘don’t engage, hold your fire, let yourself get taken hostage without a fight. Wouldn’t wanna get your friendly captors mad.’ If you’re a moron, in other words, a liberal, having a brief skirmish and seeing off the bad guys (with the bonus being the mullahs never trying that gambit again) is way WORSE than seeing your country humiliated and your servicemen paraded in some Tehran TV studio making fake “confessions.” In the 2004 “incident,” Iran took eight British personnel hostage in the Shatt al-Arab waterway then let them go when British officials caved by saying the men “may have strayed into Iranian waters . . .” So, voila, a few years later, the Brits find themselves up (the same) Shiite’s creek without a paddle. Bring a six-barrelled Gatling to a knife fight or one hostage “incident” (2004) just paves the way for the next hostage “incident” (2007). Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher knew how this game is played and how to win it. Just ask the Argentinians.
But, to Iran, this isn’t just hostage-taking for hostage-taking’s sake, or Tehran just trying to make Blair look bad on his way out or some goofy bid to get back those 5 Iranian “diplomats” captured in Iraq a few months back.
If you Google ‘Boil on the butt of humanity,’ chances are you get ‘Iran.’ But if you Google ‘Iran’ a couple of years down the road if nothing is done, chances are you’d get ‘PERSIAN NUCLEAR TERROR STATE spreading cancerous boils on everyone’s butt.’ That is, the lucky infidels still around after the big Bar-B-Que (which means no Google anyway). So, if you’re an Iranian nuclear mullah, you figure that, before Bush gets a chance to ruin your big plans to bring on Armageddon, you decide it’s time to have yet another unfortunate hostage crisis. The mullahs have done this so many times, the press has almost noticed it.
Back in the summer of ‘06, Iran had its proxy Hezbollah nab a few Israeli soldiers, then helpfully start a war by lobbing rockets over the border. The whole thing sidetracked the G-8 summiteers who had planned to discuss Iran’s nuke program, also at the time the big topic at the U.N. A coincidence! Iran’s nuke program was the big topic at the U.N. right around the time the Iranians seized the 15 Brits (March 23). Another remarkable coincidence!
Where the mullahs are slipping is in thinking the hostage-taking racket will save them from Bush’s Big Plans. Interestingly, the master poker player, while laying the groundwork to give the mad mullahs a big dose of behavioral adjustment, has got his domestic mad mullahs — the Democrats — too distracted and hysterical over scandalous non-scandals to even have an opinion on this or notice what’s going on. They’re trying so hard to surrender in Iraq the little darlings can’t even think about Iran right now. Pelosi fled to Damascus for spring break — treason is soooo exhausting. Poor dears. Just wait until Bush drops the hammer.
Anyway, that's...
My two cents
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