Posted on 03/24/2007 10:18:10 AM PDT by GeorgiaDawg32
Former Vice-President Al Gore today formed an exploratory committee aimed for a presidential run in '08. He cited a lack of current candidates who are paying significant attention to the problem of Global Warming.
His major policy change, according to a statement released by Mr. Gores campaign, would be for the government to become actively involved in forcing carbon-neutral lifestyles on normal, everyday Americans. "Mr. Gore firmly believes that excessive power consumption releasing unacceptable amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere causes global warming". He will therefore propose legislation that will determine, according to family size, how much power they can use in a year. "Mr. Gore believes American families vacation too much, make too many trips in their cars and use power for unnecessary things like air-conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter".
Anyone consuming more than their alloted share will be charged an additional "carbon tax" on their electric bills that will be used to purchase all carbon credits from Generation Investment Management. Mr. Gores campaign denies this future no bid contract award has anything to do with his being Chaiman of this company. Said a spokesperson, "Generation Investment Management is the premier carbon credit trading company in the world. It's purely coincidence he his the Chairman of the Board. Our friends across the aisle will be sure to make this a campaign issue which is despicable and the highest form of partisan politics"..
developing...
When you purchase a Carbon Offset Credit my company will do a number of things that some just dont have time to do. For your purchase of a Carbon Offset Credit we will do the following for you:
1. Plant a Tree.
2. The money will be used to buy energy efficient light bulbs and donated to familys who cannot afford them.
3. We will invest the money in companies who research and produce windmills.
4. We are also purchasing feed to reduce methane produced by domesticated animals.
This was a satire article, right? He can't be this dumb . . . never mind . . . he absolutely is that dumb. Hopefully, the dumbocrats are dumb enough to nominate him.
Forgot to say: one of the EBay sellers includes this in his pitch, which I think is the key to the entire thing:
"You can continue living the way you always have." So, to sum up, send him money, he plants a tree, you go about your business as usual.
Of course this is a parody!! But it is totally believable, isn't it? A carbon neutral society is as workable as Gore's social security "lock box"! Such is the "brilliant mind" of Al Gore!!!
Is that your ebay thing? lol!! How many credits do I need to purchase to offset the gas these liberals are giving me?
Headline: "Monty Python gang abandons planned revival. 'We can't top that,' says spokesman."
It's not my EBay thing! I don't knowingly give free money to moonbats. I just went to ebay and typed in carbon credits. What a bunch of loonies. Fact is, anyone could advertise on ebay and claim to be selling carbon credits and make a pile of money. I will accept $20 fee for each bedding plant I put in my yard this spring and make enough to pay a gardener.
Hillary vs Gore vs Soros backed Obama. Dear god it's the perfect storm.
Please run, Al. Then American democrats can choose between a looney green, an accessory to rape, an ambulance chaser, or a muslim. What a line-up.
Just when I worry about the Republicans self-destructing, the Dems always seem to give me hope.
Will he take a pledge to run a carbon neutral campaign?
Sorry about that! I thought you were running that on ebay as a joke! I can't believe anyone would actually see that and take it serious. Never underestimate the stupidity of the american public. I do hope it is a conservative conning idiot liberals, though!
I can buy trees and plant them in all the new subdivisions (and charge the homeowners as well...no need for them to know I have already been paid).
And, when I am done with that project, I will set up a recycling center for those lightbulbs and charge people to get rid of those mercury-filled lightbulbs. Of course, I will reclaim the mercury and sell it, too. And Donating those lightbulbs to poor people will give me more customers for my recycling site.
I am also going to start researching windmills. I can kill a couple of days looking up things on Google and that will net me a handy chunk of change.
I also will buy and repackage cattle feed and sell it as "low methane" food. who is going to actually measure cow flatulence anyway?
All in all, a tidy little scheme for the unscrupulous. Unfortunately, I am bound by ethics and won't really do this. I would have made a great grifter!
Hah.
He'd just tax it out of existence.
His major policy change, according to a statement released by Mr. Gores campaign, would be for the government to become actively involved in forcing carbon-neutral lifestyles on normal, everyday Americans. "Mr. Gore firmly believes that excessive power consumption releasing unacceptable amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere causes global warming". He will therefore propose legislation that will determine, according to family size, how much power they can use in a year. "Mr. Gore believes American families vacation too much, make too many trips in their cars and use power for unnecessary things like air-conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter".
I can't believe this guy is not in a straight jacket!!!
Maybe we have become an asylum!
But of course his and his family's vacations, car trips, heating and air conditioning would be exempt from the rules he wants to impose on the rest of us. Nothing new here, just the same old elitist BS. Meanwhile, he's busy making money off the chumps by selling them magical carbon credits!
I can't believe that our country is falling for this scam!!!
We so badly need an articulate leader!
I really admired Bush when he first came in and told the world what they can do with Kyoto and the International Court - now that he has nothing to lose, he's starting to wimp out.
What a freaking looney....
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