Using Live Mice...

[John Robinson]

We technicians here in the Free Republic server room experimented with real mice attached to our computers. Unfortunately, not one mouse survived being plugged-in for more than a few minutes. We've reverted back to the hamsters, they're more durable and they know how to dance to the electronic pop music we enjoy.

You should notice a significant improvement in response time.

Go go hamsters.

[Slings and Arrows]

There's new stuff in the cooker

Now I know what happened to the mice.

[Fresno]

My first post. I added California as a topic and am cheering the Robinsons as they improve FReeRepublic.

[null and void]

Sooooooo, where you at?

[Dianna]

My first post. I added California as a topic and am cheering the Robinsons as they improve FReeRepublic.

Awww, that's so nice! Welcome to FRee Republic.

Now, I'm feeling kinda bad that I planned to post the words to Muskrat Love.

[Dianna]

Muskrat Susie
Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug out in Muskrat land

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Youse guys rock.

[RunningWolf]

Did you try such mouse performance enhancing techniques as running three or more mice parallel/in sequence on the same treadmill? Non friction magnetic air bearngs?

And then did you motivate the mice with a concurrent carrot and stick approach. While he is out the on the treadmill, you project a holographic image at his rear of a hawk swooping out of the sky, and to his front an image of miss mouse lounging very seductively, as if waiting just for him.

No let me guess, you did not try any of that. You stuck with the American model of 'there is no substitute for cubic inches' paradigm and you are just going to run the meanest most resource hungry bunch of hamsters you can get to sign up.., sigh

[Fiddlstix]

I've experimented with mice and hamsters too......
I now use a possum.......
Works great.......

[Fresno]

Sanger, actually, but born and raised in "Fresburg." Thanks!

[Fresno]

Actually I am Mr. TenthAmendmentChampion, who is a first-grade lurker and occasional contributer. I'm happy to be here!

[Fresno]

When I say first-grade, I mean, first rate. Too many Anchor Steams...

[RunningWolf]

Hhmmm, my very limited knowledge of 'possums' tells me you are running something that you mistook for a possum there. But if he's working for you 'possum' is a good a name as any.

[grey_whiskers]

Somebody has to post it...

IBM "Mouse Balls" memo:

Subject: IBM Ball replacement.....

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse.

Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls.

Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse.

Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive.

However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary item.

To re-order, specify one of the following:

P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls

P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls

Cheers!

[metmom]

I thought is was just our %*(#@&$)(* computer again.

[E Rocc]

[null and void]

LOL, Welcome to FR, FResno...

[Steve0113]

ping - this is funny.

[Lady Jag]

Grapevine says you are looking for a substitute for you on the wheel?

Best of luck!

[luvie]

You WHAT!!!
Of course we didn't do it!
We have more sense than a hamster!

[MEG33]

Running smoothly!