Posted on 03/17/2007 5:18:33 PM PDT by wagglebee
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (KSM) painted himself during his trial this week at Club Gitmo as employee of the decade for Al Qaedas Death Monkey Squad. This piece of Samsonite prattled on with Islamic glee about his noxious brain farts such as . . .
The suicide hijackings of 9/11. Remember 9/11/2001? Think back, way back to like . . . uh . . . 5 ½ years ago when 3,000 people died during a terrorist attack here in the U.S. Does that ring a bell? It doesnt? Just google it. It was pretty bad.
Personally cutting off Danny Pearls head.
The Bali night club bombings which blew to smithereens a couple of hundred people.
The killing of one U.S. Marine on an island off Kuwait.
The 2002 bombing of a Kenya beach resort frequented by Israelis.
The failed missile attack on an Israeli passenger jet after it took off from Mombasa, Kenya.
And if that wasnt industrious enough, KSM (according to him) had many other things up his long sleeve dress. Stuff like: plans to off a couple of U.S. Presidents (Carter and Clinton . . . Go figure!), rub out Pope John Paul II and Pakistans President Musharaf, plus bring down the Sears Tower in Chi Town. Uh . . . lets see . . . what else? Oh yeah, bomb the Empire State Building, the New York Stock Exchange, the Panama Canal, some big clock in London and Heathrow Airport.
All in all, this one Muslim has claimed responsibility for masterminding the deaths of several thousand people and had tens of thousands of others marked for mayhem had not Bush and his boys busted the bastard.
But then again, this all could be a scam cooked up by the Bush administration. Yes! Thats it! Its all lies. Lies, I tell you. That is, if I am to believe Rosie ODonnell (what a waste of an apostrophe!).
According to Orca, I mean, Facts-Be-Damned-ODonnell, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is a mere kitty cat and that mean old Bush has Lee Harveyd him. Khalid wasnt involved in any of the above. Cmon people. Wake up. That was Osama and Osama alone. Were being hood-wigged and bamboozled by Bush, dammit, at least according to Rosies sweaty vociferations on The View.
The reason the shabby Sheikh confessed to these atrocities, thus saith the Rose, was because he was tortured. ODonnell points to such evidence of his suffering to things like KSMs ugly Glamour photo.
Yes, according to Mama Cass, for three years the CIA has been messing up Khalids hair (probably a series of violent noogies), not allowing him to shave very often and making him wear a Flash Dance T-shirtand that lethal combination eventually caused the boy to cave. He couldnt take it, man. He got to the place where hed own anything for some Brylcreem, a Trac2 and some lycra.
Rosie bellowed, on the show she has now Jezebelled, that KSM is not an animal, but a man. Ive got some news for you Rosie: so are you. As a matter of fact, take a picture of ODonnell . . . any picture . . . and scribble a mustache on her/it, then scratch in some 5 0clock shadow on her jowls and poof you got yourself a Khalid Sheikh Mohammed! Try it. Its fun. Thats why I think the big Rose is going to bat so hard for Khalid; they have so much in common, both physically and ideologically.
Barbara Walters, if you read my column (and I know you do, baby love . . . and sorry for not returning your calls yesterday), listen to me: youve got to fire Rosie now. Dont be afraid of her. The veterinarians at the New York City Zoo have tranquilizer darts thatll knock her straight out so that you can have her air lifted out of the building. Itll be okay.
Babs, the girl is certifiable. Not only because shes of the genus bovinae, but also because the girl has gone crazy! Do America a favor: get a saner chick on your show. Or get a good looking crazy girl. Orif youre going to do crazy, then get Charlie Manson. Channel him in every day from Corcoran State Prison and lets watch him swing from a sprinkler pipe in his cell and howl at the moon. Chucks got two things on Rosie: 1) Hes more creative with his conspiracy theories and 2) Hes a better looking woman. Just a thought . . . toss it around with your producers and Joy and Elizabeth. Conference me in if you need to.
Lastly, in light of the Sheikhs confession, I propose the following:
1. I say we give Bush and his crew a much deserved standing ovation for getting KSM.
2. Next, I say we rob Khalid of his humanity. He robbed us. We rob him. I suggest we strip him of his humanity with a bullet and broadcast it on Pay-Per-View.
3. On second thought, we shouldnt kill him. Then hed be praised as a martyr. Lets keep him alive.
4. Instead of killing him, lets put him in a non-air-conditioned cell down here in Miami, feed him ham sandwiches, only to be chased down with skunk urine while playing a 24/7/365 loop of Boy Georges music video Do You Really Wanna Hurt Me? with the volume ratcheted way up in his cell thats been wallpapered, floor to ceiling, with ODonnell in a Brazilian bikini. Let him experience a little temporal hell before he goes to an eternal one.
5. Whaddya think, too harsh? Yeah, it reads too harsh.
6. Lets just shoot the guy and be done with him. No use torturing him.
7. Stay sober. Even though KSM was a major kernel of corn in the turd which is militant Islam, we cant obsess on him now as there are thousands of murderous others currently looking to fill his sandals, and weve got to keep busy capturing and killing them.
He can consider that line stolen.
Baba Wawa should be made to pay for foisting Khalid O'Rosie on the public.
"shes of the genus bovinae"
Made me laugh.
Honestly, I don't know how people can watch that show. I know the studio audience is liberal, but I can't believe the viewing audience turns in to hear the rants of O'Donnell and Behar day after day.
I'm all for cutting off his "Blessed right hand" and making him eat pork rinds with his left hand.
Tell me about it.
Star Jones, who by the way is much slimmer and fit these days, is probably counting her blessings for not having to listen to Rosie's loud mouth day in and day out.
You want to torture the terrorist play the View 24/7. They'll beg for ice pics to jab in their eyes and ears!
NOW THATS TORTURE ROSIE!
LOL!
ROTFLMBO!
...The blood would be gushing from their eardrums after five minutes.
No don't try it! it's very ugly! I had to stop.
I was home sick one day and found out Ann Coulter was going to visit the View. I thought it was going to be a scream so I watched. Those women were so rude and so dispicably uncouth .. I've never watched the program again.
Disgusting women! They are nothing like the women I have been associated with all my life.
Yeah, but it works. I thought of how much they looked like long lost twins too when I saw the picture of rosie holding up KSM's picture.
There's Liberal Feminist women for you.
You, my good man, are an "Ar-teest!"
I have a wish/idea.
When the Dixie Chicks decided to mock President Bush overseas the Country Music consumers were able to speak with their wallets. It was so effective that the DC have not recovered and their career is still in the pits.
Now we have Rosie ODonnell and the foul, really simple-minded women on The View being watched by some equally simple-minded folks who give them some credence by simply turning on this garbage. It is a shame that you cannot pass laws against garbage like that. Then again, one would think that laws against Ted Kennedy should have been passed against the people of Massachusetts for electing Kennedy and Kerry; but thats another rant.
People who find that shows like the View and idiots like Rosie have no effective way of voicing their offense with their wallets. A random email to the sponsor or an individual choice of a competitor goes unnoticed by the crass sponsor. I think I know how to get the attention of the offending sponsor and effect a change.
What is needed is a mass email service where a person can send out an email to a group of like minded people who will send out an email to all of their personal email lists and ; and so on, and so on. The email could state the offense and ask everyone on the email to show their displeasure with the offense by boycotting the show sponsor and asking all of their friends to join the boycott.
Now thing of that; for every sponsor product there are always equal alternative offerings from a competitor. If this sponsor boycott were effective, where there was just a 1-2% decline in market share. That would definitely get the attention of the. I know that if such a service was available I would definitely use it for Rosie and The View. I would suggest that a copy of the emails being sent to everyon be sent to the sponsor too, but that could result in suggesting a diabolical denial of service condition the is not what I would want to see.
The process needs to be set up as a service where the sponsor feels the effect of the displeasure in the sponsors bottom line; like the Dixie Chicks.
The idea may need some work. I will continue to try to refine it. Please feel free to refine it on your own. I offer this wish to anyone who chooses to set it up.
Khalid threw up, saying...
I hope to see it often.
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