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Girl Scouts Want You To Die
American.com ^ | 2/26/07 | Katherine Mangu-Ward

Posted on 03/04/2007 7:15:02 AM PST by Valin

My local liquor store is selling Girl Scout cookies, and last week I chose Thin Mints over gin, thinking myself quite virtuous. Little did I know… According to MeMe Roth, who is the head (and may be the sole member) of National Action Against Obesity:

Girl Scouts have an economic, medical and moral imperative to dump junk food as their $700 million fundraising source….Girl Scout Cookies are high-calorie, high-sugar, high in saturated fat and nearly devoid of nutrition. Using young girls as a front to push millions of cookies onto an already bloated population further exacerbates an alarming [obesity] crisis, no matter how cute the uniforms are.

Could it be true that little girls are selling sin door-to-door in exchange for merit badges?

This strange little Girl-Scouts-cause-obesity trope has been making the rounds for a while now: The New York Times' Nicholas Kristof penned a column during last year's selling season in which he worried about the growing menace of "little girls intent on clogging your arteries and killing you with their sweetness." At least Kristof maintained a semi-satirical tone. He knew that he was proposing something on the silly side: "Actually, it's a pity that Girl Scout cookies are being sold by cherubs," he wrote. "If the sellers were Iranians with turbans and menacing frowns, then the authorities might be more alert to the dangers."

Even before Kristof, a television ad produced by the pro-business Center for Consumer Freedom put a Girl Scout on the stand to demonstrate the absurdity of obesity-related lawsuits. "You make them taste good on purpose, don't you?" a sinister trial lawyer asks a beribboned, beanie-wearing defendant.

But now Roth has done it for real—and with little discernable humor. "I’ve always cringed at young females identifying themselves with baked goods," she says. "And I’m not convinced more cookies makes the world a better place."

But of course, more cookies do make the world a better place—as anyone who has ever had a crunchy, coconut-y, chocolate-dipped Samoa can attest. People buy Girl Scout cookies because they are good cookies for a good cause. Most people buy (and eat) them in moderation, so a boycott isn't changing health outcomes for the vast majority of cookie customers. And as Roth rightly points out, the Girl Scouts rely on the cookies for $700 million in revenue every year, revenue that they are unlikely to be able to replace with other sources—even in the five-year transition time graciously allotted to them by Roth.

More choices don't make people fat, bad choices make people fat. In the case of Girl Scout cookies, more choices could even make you thinner. The Girl Scouts experiment with new flavors every year, and have removed trans fats from this year's batch. The new flavors tend to be low fat or boast some other health conscious modification. A boycott (girlcott?) against all Girl Scout cookies by the most health-conscious segment of consumers is unlikely to encourage more experimentation.

This isn't Roth's first anti-fat publicity stunt. She also hosts the Wedding Gown Challenge, which encourages women to do annual checks to make sure that they still fit into their wedding gowns: "Most women I know commit fraud on their wedding days—they weigh-in for the walk down the aisle with no expectation of maintaining that weight year after year." (When I visited, Google Ads for eating disorder treatments graced the right column of her main page—but, for the record, she also discourages "extreme" pre-wedding dieting.)

Roth's message of personal responsibility, and her use of a boycott rather than a lawsuit or a legislative ban are to be applauded. But she is still on the wrong track. Scapegoating particular foods or companies (remember the lawsuit blaming McDonalds for obesity?) isn't a sensible approach. There isn't a single man, woman, or child in America who thinks that Thin Mints are slimming, name notwithstanding. Adorable salesgirls in knee socks are not tricking buyers or leading them down the garden path, most people just buy a box or two of nostalgic cookies once a year for kicks. They know what they're getting.

And what could be more American than Girl Scout cookies? The scouts have been selling cookies since 1917. Roth says that they "sell up to 200 million boxes yearly—that's about one box for every overweight American." But one box of cookies a year each, for a total of 1,350 calories, isn't too bad—certainly not enough to add an extra roll to anyone's midsection or roll anyone into an early grave.

Actually, there is one thing that's more American than Thin Mints and Trefoils: apple pie. Grandmothers across the nation, beware. Unless you fit into your wedding dress—MeMe Roth could be coming for your pie pans next.

Katherine Mangu-Ward is associate editor at Reason magazine.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: cookiemadness; fatnazis; foodnazis; girlscoutcookies; girlscouts; memeroth
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To: mtbopfuyn
I like them, even though they are expensive.

When I was a Leader the money we received from the sale was welcomed. It allowed the girls to have many fun experiences that they normaly might not have had.

I encourage all young girls to give Scouting a try.

41 posted on 03/04/2007 9:30:42 AM PST by alice_in_bubbaland (As for me, I will remain neutral...for the time being.)
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To: BenLurkin

That's either a glandular problem or child abuse!


42 posted on 03/04/2007 9:31:21 AM PST by alice_in_bubbaland (As for me, I will remain neutral...for the time being.)
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To: Valin

Sheesh, all this could have been avoided if she had just soaked the cookies in gin then eaten them.


43 posted on 03/04/2007 9:31:55 AM PST by MHGinTN (If you've had life support. Promote life support for others.)
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To: MHGinTN
Ah!

Gin soaked girl scout cookies -- the Teresa Heinz Kerry snack of choice.
44 posted on 03/04/2007 9:34:57 AM PST by BenLurkin
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To: sgtbono2002

Thin Mints are benign supreme dictator and overlord of all other cookies. No other cookie is worthy of being in the same pantry. One should speak of the mighty Thin Mint only in reverent tones.


45 posted on 03/04/2007 9:37:37 AM PST by Right Angler
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To: dighton

Guns don't kill people, Girl Scouts do.


46 posted on 03/04/2007 9:40:08 AM PST by MozarkDawg
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To: Right Angler

What would you soak those in, Bacardi's Limon or Mint Gin?


47 posted on 03/04/2007 9:40:59 AM PST by MHGinTN (If you've had life support. Promote life support for others.)
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To: Valin
It's been many, MANY, years, but back in the day my family used to buy Girl Scout cookies right on our own doorstep.

I liked the thin mints best and we always got at least 3 boxes of those.

I would pig out and go into a chocolate-mint coma.

I will be 50 this year and it hasn't killed me yet! :)

48 posted on 03/04/2007 9:45:15 AM PST by LibKill (ENOUGH! Take the warning labels off everything and let Saint Darwin do his job.)
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To: sgtbono2002

naw, the peanut butter ones are the best. Go Girl Scouts.


49 posted on 03/04/2007 9:46:02 AM PST by bboop (Stealth Tutor)
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To: Tax-chick

I just ate three Peanut Butter Patties so I can say with some authority that more cookies do indeed make the world a better place.


50 posted on 03/04/2007 9:48:47 AM PST by LadyNavyVet
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To: Valin

That would make a great title for a Grade-Z horror film.


51 posted on 03/04/2007 9:49:15 AM PST by Clintonfatigued (If the GOP were to stop worshiping Free Trade as if it were a religion, they'd win every election)
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To: Valin

Somehow I don't see "Girl Scout Sliced Carrots and Celery Sticks" reaching the $700 million mark.


52 posted on 03/04/2007 9:57:51 AM PST by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: MozarkDawg
You can’t trust anyone nowadays.

Last week I bought a .45 from a girl, who said that GS stood for Gun Sales, and this morning some Bombay from another, who assured me it meant Gin Service.

53 posted on 03/04/2007 9:59:09 AM PST by dighton
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To: Valin

I couldn't imagine mixing mint cookies with tonic.


54 posted on 03/04/2007 10:00:36 AM PST by toddlintown (Six bullets and Lennon goes down. Yet not one hit Yoko. Discuss.)
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To: toddlintown
Try it.... Gin and Tonic and Girl Scout Thin Mints...I have and it was a wonderful delicious event...
Baily's Irish Creme and Thin Mints, Kahlua and hot chocolate and Thin Mints....now beer and Thin Mints wasn't too good...
55 posted on 03/04/2007 10:24:19 AM PST by vetvetdoug
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To: Gabz

Hey, Mama! How many boxes of "Cold Death" do you & your Troop have left to sell?

ROFLMAO!


56 posted on 03/04/2007 10:29:35 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: Valin

Sure hope "Enforcer Roth" doesn't find out I baked a "Queen of Sheba Torte" yesterday for husbands birthday today. It has as many calories as 10 or so boxes of those "diet" Girl Scout Cookies, LOL!

Take my cake pans? Out of my cold, dead hands, you Food Gnatzie!


57 posted on 03/04/2007 10:41:32 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: Valin
But of course, more cookies do make the world a better place

It is my contention that the world would be a much more peaceful place if we all had a daily cookie and milk break.

How can you be upset with a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies in front of you?

58 posted on 03/04/2007 10:44:45 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (All that is required for evil to triumph is that good men do nothing -E. Burke)
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To: Valin

I need Girl Scout Cookies like I need a hole in the head. What I do whenever I pass a troop selling cookies is to give them a $1 donation. It turns out that the troop gets to keep 100% of a donation, but gets just a few cents for every box of cookies they sell. So my $1 donation is cheaper for me, healthier for me, and helps the troop more. Win, win, win.


59 posted on 03/04/2007 10:50:44 AM PST by poindexter
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To: Valin; Gabz; All

"She also hosts the Wedding Gown Challenge, which encourages women to do annual checks to make sure that they still fit into their wedding gowns..."

What a Target-Rich Environment this woman provides!

If you marry a man shallow enough to expect that you're always going to look as you do on your Wedding Day, you're going to have more problems with HIM, than with your Wedding Dress, Honey!

As if all of our husbands can still fit into their Prom Tuxes or Military Uniforms! ROFLMAO!


60 posted on 03/04/2007 10:51:25 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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