Posted on 03/02/2007 5:03:43 AM PST by Cavalcabo
Fred Rogers saw it coming and knew it could be a problem.
A group of psychologists released a study this week that found today's college students are more self-centered and narcissistic than those of previous generations. In part, the researchers pointed to overindulgent adults for raising children to believe they are "special" no matter what they do.
Mister Rogers, of course, wrote the seminal song on this subject in 1967 -- the lyrics say "You are my friend, you are special."
The researchers didn't blame Mister Rogers in any way. But the late, great pioneer of developmentally appropriate children's television could see his message of love and acceptance being misinterpreted by a more indulgent society to mean "You are so special, you can do no wrong."
Mister Rogers knew children could do wrong, said Hedda Sharapan, director of early childhood initiatives for Family Communications Inc., the producer of the "Mister Rogers, Neighborhood" series.
Indeed, Ms. Sharapan noted, Mister Rogers had always emphasized that loving adults had to set limits and boundaries to teach children right and wrong, self-control and empathy. Yet somehow, the larger context was getting lost in the fast-evolving, three-second sound bite, self-esteem-touting culture of instant gratification.
"Fred saw that things were changing in society, for many reasons," Ms. Sharapan said. "He was concerned about how people were misinterpreting the message. One day in the studio, he said, 'I wish from the very beginning I had said it this way: You are special and so is everyone else in this world.'
"It takes a lot of energy to say no to a child and stick to it," she continued. "Children need to know they're loved no matter what, but you also have to show with real conviction that certain things are not acceptable.
(Excerpt) Read more at postgazette.com ...
I would think that constantly telling students that are special while never telling them when they are wrong would be a huge factor. Teachers should teach to teaching and not molding students.
I would tend to agree, yet I think also its the television they are allowed to watch. Most of these show are full of self-absorbed people. Like the crap Growing Up Gotti and the Real Housewives.
Most have been steeped in sef-esteem instead of self-respect. One might have to wonder how they feel about their own race, if they ar white, and their American culture, no matter what race.
There's also the phenomenon of the parent as "advocate".
When children get in trouble at school, it happens more often than not that when the parents are called in for a conference they assume innocence of their child and guilt of the adults attempting to reign in their child.
It is very rare anymore for a parent to chew out their kid for getting in trouble at school and make them pay for it at home.
Instead they say to the principal in an accusatory tone "why are you singling out my kid? Why don't you go after so&so's kid who is much worse?"
In their world there is always another kid who is getting away with something and they make that their focus instead of worrying about their own kid.
What does the kid learn? Manipulation and lack of consequences and martyr complex.
When sub-teaching, I have seen cases where parents have gone to court, obtaining a ruling that does not allow their precious to be disciplined.
>>>>I would tend to agree, yet I think also its the television they are allowed to watch.
We can get expert testimony on this right here at FR!
What say you 'Television is Just Wrong'!
:)
The parents of a lot of these kids will not let them be "tainted" by failure of any sort.
>>When children get in trouble at school, it happens more often than not that when the parents are called in for a conference they assume innocence of their child and guilt of the adults attempting to reign in their child.
It is very rare anymore for a parent to chew out their kid for getting in trouble at school and make them pay for it at home.<<
Are you a teacher? Because that's exactly what my mom gets. Over and over again. I had to see it to fully believe it. I think, perhaps, we lost something when grand masters became principles and corporal punishment left the classrooms... I sure as heck knew it motivated me to walk the line... lol
Many children are being raised by two or more sets of parents and 4 or more sets of grandparents-all overindulging to jockey for favorite status with the children. Child psychologists will tell you that consistency is of utmost importance in discipline but it is hard to be consistent when Mommy and Daddy are not even living in the same town- making it difficult at best to being on the same page in setting limits. Far too often Hollywood and TV is being the role model for parenting.
Hate the sin, love the sinner. We've lost a lot as our society has drifted from its Christian roots.
Whats wrong with that?
Folks should have numerous children regardless of their ability to provide for them?
You like welfare, huh?
It's downright frightening. When these young people really do get out on their own they will be totally freaked when they fail on a consistent basis.
I'm curious, do those students seem at all embarrassed when their parents pull this sort of stunt?
Some excerpts:
[snip]
Dweck had suspected that praise could backfire, but even she was surprised by the magnitude of the effect. “Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable that they can control,” she explains. “They come to see themselves as in control of their success. Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.”
In follow-up interviews, Dweck discovered that those who think that innate intelligence is the key to success begin to discount the importance of effort. I am smart, the kids’ reasoning goes; I don’t need to put out effort. Expending effort becomes stigmatized—it’s public proof that you can’t cut it on your natural gifts.
"Folks should have numerous children regardless of their ability to provide for them?
You like welfare, huh?"
In our country, we have the means to have many more children than we have. Most people would just rather have a nicer car, a bigger house (with fewer people), and constant entertainment. It has nothing to do with welfare. However, the children that we aren't having are being replaced with illegal immigrants.
I think you are painting with far too broad a brush. There are many factors for having small families, and I don't believe that is the cause of the narccicism being spoken of in this article.
To my mind, Diana was the epitome of self-centered narcissism. Her whole existance was one of self-promotion. Her untimely death lead to her public canonization, and this negative example was frozen in time and held to be a universal good. This all happened when our current crop of younsters was 8 to 10 years old, which is a very impressionable age.
I brought my 8-year-old daughter to see The Queen recently, and walking out of the theater she was spouting all the usual nonsense about how Diana was a saint, and everything about her was wonderful. I pointed out to her that the Queen is a much more worthy example for emulation because of her commitment to service to something greater than herself. Whereas Diana did service as window-dressing, the Queen is the real deal.
After a lot of back and forth, she finally understood the difference between the two, and the Cult of Diana will have to get by with one less follower. I fear that a lot of older kids never had a chance. For them, the notion that everything about Diana was wonderful and worthy of emulation is just a given.
I like it!
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