In the new and improved version of Verde's opera, now called Bergoletto --- here we have Bill Clinton threatening Sandy Berger if he doesn't get the memos. If Verde were alive, I think he would love it. Well, maybe not.
Posted on 01/12/2007 8:47:34 PM PST by doug from upland
In response to the outrageous and undercovered national security scandal involving Sandy Berger, Bill Bennett is holding a song contest to shine the light on this. Having created a few political parodies, I thought I would give it a try. I'll bring the 34 songs I did this week into this thread either one at a time or in small groups. I hope you will find something you like.
Sandy Berger Lies Contest Rules
1. Write lyrics to an already existing song, or song you write yourself, that tells the story of the Sandy Berger archives scandal. E.g., "Sandy Berger Lies" for "Bette Davis Eyes." Any song will do, or a new song you write. The winner receives $1,000.
2. The lyrics (or song if it is original) will be the property of "Bill Bennett's Morning in America" and can be used in perpetuity for the one-time contest payout of $1,000.
3. Submission must be by email.
4. Deadline for submission is January 12, winner announced January 19th, 2007.
5. Decision of the judges is final.
I like that one, Doug! We (brother and sisters) had to sing that one for our parents 50th Wedding ann.
Try to imagine it in 4-part harmony .............. FRegards
An Italian opera and documents stuffed in the pants. That's a match made in heaven. Can you make an MP3?
I just talked to a woman who says she can do La Donna è Mobile with some new equipment she got for Christmas. This should be fun.
In the new and improved version of Verde's opera, now called Bergoletto --- here we have Bill Clinton threatening Sandy Berger if he doesn't get the memos. If Verde were alive, I think he would love it. Well, maybe not.
Mark Steyn submitted a few ---
The Steyn variations
Mark Steyn found it too much fun not to join in Bill Bennett's inspired "Sandy Berger Lies" contest that has contributed so much to my anger management therapy this week. Seth Leibsohn has kindly forwarded Mark's three submissions. Mark's first submission comes complete with directions for recording:
THE SANDY PANTS
(from the film Slick Willie Wonka And The Shop-Lift Factory)
Hey, everybody! Gather round, the Sandy Pants is here! What kind of archival material do you want? Classified documents? Confidential minutes? Intelligence briefings? Cables? You’ve come to the right place, because I’m the Sandy Pants!
(Ooooooo!)
Who can take the memo
Stuff it in his sock
Take it out the building
And then walk it up the block
The Sandy Pants (The Sandy Pants)
Oh, the Sandy Pants can (The Sandy Pants can)
The Sandy Pants can ‘cause he fixes it for Bill
And makes his boss look good (Makes his boss look good)
Who can take the secrets
Out the door at night
Slide them under trailers
On a dark construction site
The Sandy Pants (The Sandy Pants)
Oh, the Sandy Pants can (The Sandy Pants can)
The Sandy Pants can ‘cause he fixes it for Bill
And makes his boss look good (Makes his boss look good)
The Sandy Pants takes
Lots of bathroom breaks
But his status simply wows us
Suspicion Sandy ne’er arouses
Waddling out with lumpy trousers
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Who can hose the archives
Shrug off all the flak
Get the kid-glove treatment
And then get his clearance back
The Sandy Pants (The Sandy Pants)
Oh, the Sandy Pants can (The Sandy Pants can)
The Sandy Pants can ‘cause he fixes it for Bill
And makes his boss look good (Makes his boss look good)
[Instrumental break, and Sandy’s bathroom break]
The Sandy Pants packs
Secrets in his slacks
In his garter he will truss it
The media folks, they won’t discuss it
He will even stuff his gusset
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Who can swipe the records
From the archivists
So it looks like Clinton
Wasn’t soft on terrorists
The Sandy Pants (The Sandy Pants)
Oh, the Sandy Pants can (The Sandy Pants can)
The Sandy Pants can ‘cause he fixes it for Bill
And makes his boss look good (Makes his boss look good)
Yes, the Sandy Pants can ‘cause he fixes it for Bill
And makes his boss look good
[Groovy fade-out]
The Sandy Pants, the Sandy Pants, the Sandy Pants
Go take a chance in Sandy Pants, go take a chance
Don’t look askance – it’s hard to dance in Sandy Pants
The Sandy Pants, Memorandy Pants, the Sandy Pants...
Mark's second submission draws on the Great American Songbook, with an appropriate nod, if I am not mistaken, to Frank Sinatra:
I’VE GOT YOU UNDER MY SLACKS
I’ve Got You Under My Slacks
I’ve got you deep in the thighs of me
So deep in my thighs
You’re wat’ring the eyes of me
I’ve Got You Under My Slacks
I tried so hard to relax
I said to myself this report never will fit so well
But why should I try to desist from crimes I commit so well?
I’ve Got You Under My Slacks
I’ll sacrifice nothing much come what might
For the act of stuffing my shorts
‘Cept maybe the feeling that my pants are too tight
And a tickling next to my warts
Don’t I know Billy C says rifle the stacks
Use your men’s underwear
And people will wonder where
All the memos flew
And each time they do
I can stop them all in their tracks
‘Cause I’ve Got You Under My Slacks
Yeah, I dig you under my slacks
(Where does it hurt you, baby?)
Under my slacks!
Mark's third submission is "for ballad lovers everywhere." I think that probably means we're singing this to Bing Crosby's or Frank Sinatra's version of the song:
TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS
He may be weary
Sandy does get weary
Wearing the same shabby slacks
But when he’s weary
He goes back in and ransacks
Bill Clinton’s waiting
Just anticipating
Memos he needs from the stacks
When you’re without them
Try ol’ Sandy’s shabby slacks
It’s all so accidental
He has his socks and shorts
And a press that’s non-judgmental
If it winds up in the courts
You won’t regret it
Newsmen soon forget it
You’ve covered up Clinton’s tracks
And it’s all so easy
Try ol’ Sandy’s shabby slacks
I think I should note that these lyrics are Copyright © 2007 by Mark Steyn, All Rights Reserved.
Surely you jest!
I've got my Father-in-Laws' Memorial Service Sunday, plus the Military Internment on Tuesday.
Start working on these Wednesday, and will check-in with you, Doug!
What's the deadline for submission? Stay well, pal ........ FRegards
The lyrics were already submitted by the Friday deadline. If you want to record any of them, I think there is a talk show host in the Midwest who may play some of them.
Not even that.
"Peyronie's disease (also known as fibrous cavernositis) is an acquired inflammatory condition of the penis. It is the formation of a plaque or hardened scar tissue beneath the skin of the penis. This scarring is non-cancerous, but often leads to painful erection and curvature of the erect penis (a "crooked penis")."
Love this! Would love to see Sandy Burglar in the white 3-piece suit!
Thanks -- I already sent mine in (just under deadline if Mr. Bennett counts the time difference!) without the music though. Oh well.
You are the master.
Thanks....but BRAVE?
(To the song Closer To The Heart, by Rush)
And the men who held high places
Must steal papers to look smart
To mold a new reality
Sandy do your part
Sandy do your part
Documents at the archives
Will be the place to start
You have clearance through security
Sandy do your part
Sandy do your part
To stonewall the commission
The memos must depart
Visit the restroom copiously
Sandy do your part
Sandy do your part
Stuff them in your trousers
If they catch you let a fart
Cut them into small pieces
Sandy do your part
Sandy do your part
Sandy did his part
Steal The Page
(To the song Turn The Page by Bob Seger)
In an old secure facility
In Washington DC
You can pilfer secret papers
Just say you have to take a pee
You can stuff them in your trousers
Then walk your way right out the door
Cover up for your old boss
The way you always used to do
It's a long ongoing job
If you don't they'll get you too
And you don't feel much like dying
Foster and Brown were his friends too
Say...
Here I am, Bubba's boy again
There I am, covering the way
Here I go, break the law again
There I go, steal the page
Well you walk into the restroom
You don't really have to go
Glance down at the papers
You're just doing as you're told
Even though it may bother you
If you don't your head just might explode
You don't want them to hear you talk
So you cover up the phone
The papers are down your pants
Hope they can't hear what you say
You've got all the originals
The commission won't know a word they say
Say...
Here I am, Bubba's boy again
There I am, covering the way
Here I go, break the law again
There I go, steal the page
Out there in the parking lot
You made a clean getaway
Slip your way through the fence
Under a trailer they will stay
As you go back to your hotel room
You'll retrieve them the next day
Later the next evening
Pair of scissors in your hand
You see notes in the margins
Breaking the law of the land
You cut the papers into little shreds
Remembering what he said
Ah...
Here I am, Bubba's boy again
There I am, covering the way
Here I go, break the law again
There I go, steal the page
Here I am, Bubba's boy again
There I am, covering the way
Here I go, break the law again
There I go, There I go
Good. Were those your entries?
When is he announcing the results?
But brave may apply considering the subject matter.
Never give up.
Friday
That's not brave, but perhaps this is slightly so -- http://youtube.com/watch?v=K_Yf7rfGKPw The muzzies have not come for me yet.
You are most welcome! Doug....You are the master of the parody....so I thought you'd be interested.
When will the winner be announced?
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