Posted on 01/09/2007 3:03:21 PM PST by presidio9
Undisciplined parents will have undisciplined kids. These are emotionally wimpy parents who can't spare the effort to control their kids and we all suffer because of their slackness.
Time out my ass, all three of my kids had to drop and give me 20 when I needed their undivided attention. When my oldest was 15 all I had to do was point at a wall and he would walk over to it and put his nose against it, even in public. Needless to say, he only pushed it to that point once in public, and the embarrassment precluded that again. Only spanked him twice when he was a wee lad. The other two kids know that I am not playing and they do not challenge me or their Mother. We do not have to raise or voices or get angry to get their attention.
As a teacher of 30 students per class, I reflect on the problems that parents can not control their children. They and the school system expect one teacher to deal with these children, whom parents can not control and expect one teacher to deal with them within an hour and a half everyday. The solution is always to blame the teacher who comes prepared to teach and have to put up with the same kids who tell the teacher to "shut up", because they can as it worked on the parents.
Parental discipline is one problem.
There's another problem looming in the background: a whole culture that teaches kids to question and disrespect authority. They get it from movies, they get it from music, they get it from their friends, they get it in school, even from some of the teachers. They even see it on bumper stickers.
It used to be that society disapproved of bad conduct, as well as parents. Now, a large part of society encourages bad conduct. It doesn't help.
Discipline is important but cannot stand alone. Parents need to teach their kids right from wrong. They also need to teach them why right is right and wrong is wrong.
Even when I was growing up I had friends who said they couldn't go out because they were in trouble. "What did you do wrong?" "I got caught."
I'm sorry to hear about your parents. That wasn't exactly what I was talking about. I was referring more to little kids who can't be reasoned with. Hand only (maybe a hairbrush if it's egregious) and it stops when they don't fit over your knee anymore. If you gave your five-year olds a "time out" every time they ran into the street, and they are still around in their late teens to tell about it, you got lucky.
presidio9,
What you did does not deserve a time out, loss of privelidge or even a spanking. What you just did deserves capital punishment.
Fetch the rope boys!
Dr. Spock - thank the gods, he is taking a dirt nap - was extremely wrong.
All actions deserve an opposite and equal reaction. Force and threat of force are good methods to deal with unruly behavior. As a child grows so does the ability to decipher right from wrong, and that bad behavior would be rewarded with a strong reaction.
Puke! I was getting ready to make dinner and now I have lost my appetite.
< clue > It's the TV! < /clue >
Gotta show the kids love too. That way they have a lot farther to fall if they do something wrong.
My son is great. And we haven't ever had to spank him. Still early, though. He is 10 years old.
Also, my wife spends a lot of time talking with my son and helping him resolve his day to day issues. That way he knows that there is justice and fairness -- makes following the straight and narrow that much easier.
I feared my parents and the badness they could lay upon me.
First problem is that these parents don't understand the difference between discipline and punishment.
Parents need to learn the simple word "no".
Hit 'em again
Hit 'em again
Harder
Harder
"Time out" is used by parents who lack the will or skill to tackle behavior problems.
It teaches a child nothing about what they've done wrong... after all, if they have the capacity to self-reform they're unlikely to be troublemakers.
What it does teach them is that, at a certain (and diminishing) point, mom and dad will leave them alone.
Their bad acts have no tangible consequences ~ until they're big enough or bad enough, at which point the parents will weep about the child being "out of control" when they, as parents, refused to take control all along.
And what did these sources have in common? Zero tolerance for bad behavior, consistent discipline, swift, painful punishment for bad behavior, and lots of love, time, attention, and devotion to children.
Simple methods, amazing results. My kids are grown now, and never once did I have any problems with teenage rebellion, drugs, "acting out", sneaking around, lying, sex - none of what I hear and read about other people going through with their kids.
Somebody ought to write a book.....
My Dad always applied a loving hand hand to the ass. He is still a wonderful Dad!
This plays a major part. It emboldens them to do things we never would have dreamed of trying at their age, and I don't mean good things.
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