Posted on 01/05/2007 8:32:57 AM PST by qam1
Here is my nightmare. I moved to Madison without knowing anyone here, so I found a babysitter through the University of Wisconsin graduate program in early education. The woman I found was great, but she said that she was really busy, and could her boyfriend babysit instead.
I squashed all my sexist stereotypes and asked for his qualifications. She said he has a law degree in Puerto Rico, where they are from, but he can't work here because he didn't pass the Wisconsin bar, and he doesn't want to study for it because they'll only be here two years. So he is looking for work. He has five younger siblings and he babysat them.
I said okay. I did the normal routine-- stayed with him and the baby one day. Went out for a little the next. The third day, I told him I'd be at the coffee shop. I told him if he wants to go there, go when the baby is asleep so the baby doesn't see me and start crying for me, so he shows up at the coffee shop at naptime.
I say, "Where's the baby?"
He says, "At home."
"AT HOME?!?!?"
So I sprint eight blocks home, imagining all the most terrible things a mom can imagine. I get home and the baby is asleep, on my bed, ten feet from an open stairway.
The guy says, "I'm sorry."
I say, "You can just go."
He says, "I think it was a language problem. I just misunderstood you. I thought you told me to go to the coffee shop and leave the baby at home."
This could happen to anyone, and it does. My friend paid a chic agency in the New York City area to find her a bonded, background-checked nanny. But she turned out to be anorexic and she fainted behind the wheel. My friend didn't know until the car was wrapped around a pole. (Everyone safe, thank goodness.)
The difficulty of leaving a baby to go to work cannot be understated. And babysitting situations like this make it even more difficult. So we've now gone months with no babysitter, and my husband is about to kill me because he's picking up a lot of the slack.
So here's where the advice comes in: how to find a perfect babysitter, right? Wrong. There are no perfect babysitter situations. It's the nature of motherhood to be unsure of leaving. One thing I can tell you, though, is that I am a part of the opt-out generation: I sprinted up corporate ladders and ran two startups of my own, and I don't want to do that now, when I have young kids.
A press release from Lifetime Television just announced, "Women in generation Y do not want to permanently drop out of the workforce." The assumption here, of course, is that the Generation X women-- me-- who are dropping out of corporate life today are going to abstain from all business for the next twenty years until all their kids are in college.
Newsflash: The current opt-out phenomenon is not permanent. Some moms can do it, some can't, most fall somewhere in between, like me. As the kids get older, the opt-out revolution is about opting out of the absurd and inflexible hours that corporate America is demanding right now. It is not opting out of all work that does not involve kids. In fact, the majority of small businesses are started by women for these very reasons.
So, finally, here's some advice. Babysitter problems are not unique to you. They are part of a massive trend, and one bad babysitter doesn't mean you should give up on corporate life, and the crazy demands of corporate life don't mean that you should give up on work outside the home. We are all trying to find a compromise, and some of us are trying to find a sitter.
Better him picking up the slack than to find out his baby was sexually molested or worse...
There's the FIRST mistake. The answer should have been NO.
************
Pathetic.
So the husband's responsibilities take precendence over the safety of his own child? Odd.
Carolyn
Huh?
I hope this lady is not in a job that requires coherent communication, because I'm perplexed. What kind of work does she do that involves going to a coffee shop?
And if her husband doesn't want to spend time with his child (I assume it's his child, and that's the "slack" she mentioned), then why do they have one?
I'd suggest she get a cat, but it's too late ...
Ping list for the discussion of the politics and social (and sometimes nostalgic) aspects that directly effects Generation Reagan / Generation-X (Those born from 1965-1981) including all the spending previous generations (i.e. The Baby Boomers) are doing that Gen-X and Y will end up paying for.
Freep mail me to be added or dropped. See my home page for details and previous articles.
Sounds like she is complaining because she wants it all. Why did she have kids if she wasn't going to watch them? And why get a babysitter just to go to a coffee shop?
Isn't this part of the story line in "Desperate Housewives"?
She should call Andy Willoughby and find out about the 3 Step Scam.
She's a barista at Starbucks?
Cry me a river. How about not having kids if they're that much of an imposition? How about rearranging your priorities and living within your means? How about *Grow up and quitchyerbi%&*in?*
When my son was 3 months old, we decided to let a really nice neighbor young lady watch him in her home, instead of going the day-care route.
I got off early one Friday, and arrived at "Marge"'s house to pick up my son. After knocking on the door a few minutes, with no answer, I let myself in, thinking "Marge" was tied up and couldn't come to the door.
There in the living room was my 3 month old baby, asleep in a baby swing, with his pacifier in his mouth, and a piece of TAPE across his face, holding the pacifier in place.
"Marge" was not in the house. She was next door visiting with the neighbor.
Needless to say, our relationship ended right quickly with "Marge".
We had to go the day care route after that. But at least I knew there was more than one person there to monitor what was going on.
Thank God, my son is now healthy and happy at 12, but I will never get that picture of him in that swing out of my mind, and the horror of thinking that he could've choked had he spit up.
Sorry for the long post....
I suppose ... or a manager.
Those exact thoughts ran through my mind, too, but what do I know? I don't have any kids, so I must just not understand.
The whole article reads like one big panic.
The point is probably that we need more federally-funded daycare and regulation of work hours, so that the author isn't further inconveniences.
It's interesting how the mommy in this piece keeps referring to her child as "the baby" and not "my daughter" or "my son." Could be nothing, of course, but if you ask me, that's very telling right there of exactly where this mom's mind is at.
It appears to me by her attitude that she thinks her child is a cat.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.