Posted on 12/27/2006 5:03:04 AM PST by rhema
There was one fellow in particular at the family Christmas gathering who appeared to be in a bit of distress as he continually gazed out a window. His jaw was tight, and he kept clenching and unclenching his hands. Then again, he is known to drink as many as two beers in an entire year, and this was not one of those occasions.
"You have the look of a fellow who could stand getting knocked loose,'' I said. "It's that sour lemon look you're featuring.''
Both of us stepped back to make room for somebody's kid who just came into the house wearing jeans and a T-shirt and soggy socks. His socks were soggy because he hadn't been wearing any shoes outside.
"Aren't you worried?'' the sourpuss asked me.
"About that kid? I think that kid is from Australia or something. He never wears shoes. Can't stand them.''
"No, the weather. Aren't you the least bit worried?''
He turned again to the window to watch a pack of kids sliding down a hill on the grass. They were screeching and exclaiming and rolling off their little plastic sleds at the bottom of the hill just as they might if they were actually sliding on snow.
"As long as you put it that way,'' I said, "I can emphatically say that I am not in the least bit worried.''
"This isn't right,'' he said, waving a hand at the people gathered on a deck outside and to the pack of apparently easily deceived children.
It looked all right to me. The sky was blue, the air was crisp and a beautiful crescent moon was just starting to compete with the sunset. It looked better than all right to me. It looked heavenly.
"But it's not supposed to be like this,'' fuddy-duddy said.
I love when they say that. They always do. The global-warming fruitcakes, I mean. At some point in their lament, they demonstrate an amazing scientific capability for knowing what a specific day is "supposed'' to be like. If it's too hot in the summer, they long for summer days they remember as having 12.2 fewer percentage points of humidity. If the leaves don't turn color and fall exactly when they want them to in the autumn, they begin to fret and punish themselves for not buying enough energy-saving light bulbs. During a spring ice storm, they blame global warming for the ice.
That's their trick, you know. No matter what the weather, they can blame global warming.
"It is a wholly manufactured concern,'' I said, patting the fellow on the back. "My advice would be to lay off CNN for a week or two and you will feel shipshape.''
"But I want it be cold on Christmas,'' he said. "I want to shovel snow and have slow-going on the roads.''
"You could have been in Denver all last week,'' I said, referring to the stranded airline passengers who were done in by 2 feet of snow.
"No! We deserve that 2 feet of snow.''
He spoke for himself. We had one of the most unbelievable stories of the year in my beloved Pioneer Press just a few days ago. Men older than 50 are not supposed to shovel snow unless they have the resting pulse rate of a marathon runner. No snow is fine with me, though that no-shoveling story certainly demonstrates our expanding inventiveness for scaring ourselves to death about everything.
Given the way we are so easily manipulated by the industrial forces of the media, the kids outside the window sledding on grass will say "it's not supposed to be like this'' when they are in their 50s and spend a Christmas indoors because of a big snowstorm.
I felt that I needed to give the sour fellow something, so I pointed to the moon.
"I will officially become worried,'' I said, "if the moon suddenly starts jumping around or if some night we look up there and see reruns of 'The Beverly Hillbillies.' ''
"What would you do then?''
"Start smoking again. I'd figure we don't have much time.''
Here...go open another and pour some for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzRrYFIh9Oo
I am reminded of the line from Animal House
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons. But that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
I could visualize Minnesoootan's relatives as he was telling about them. Dontcha know? You bet. Oh, yah.
(*sigh*) Can this anecdote really be true? It sounds like something out of Lewis Carroll. Next time you see her tell her to beware the frumious bandersnatch.
I couldn't even finish watching that Algore clip, and it was only a little over 3 minutes in length. Besides the bad science, I was totally disgusted with his Uraiah Heep method of sucking up to the Swedes. Blech.
Hey there Miss Marple,
Algore gives me the heebie jeebies, too. He's downright painful.
But I'm unfamiliar with your reference to Uriah Heep comparison. All I know of him is one song...which I actually loved listening to. Have no idea what he was singing about, but the music reminded me of some 80s rock and metal groups.
If you have a minute, would you please fill me in?
:)
The music group took its name from a character in one of Dickens' novels, a sniveling, obsequious little creep who was always stabbing people in the back while speaking fawning praise to his boss.
Lol! Wow. I totally missed the board with that one. Lol!
(thanks for the lesson)
Why not put a bug in the ear of one of your neighbor friends, or someone at church, to see if someone will start a schedule of meals for your family? Even if it's only once or twice a week, that would give you a couple of days off, or could be two or three if there are leftovers.
We did this for a friend who was undergoing a bout of chemo for breast cancer. We brought meals at least twice a week to give her sister a break. My friend was divorced, and her sister moved in with her to help take care of her high school aged son and mentally impaired daughter. The sister worked full time, and it was just hard on her doing meals each night while taking care of Laurie and her kids. It helped her a lot just to have meals dropped off a couple of nights a week.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.