Posted on 12/23/2006 5:15:33 PM PST by Dallas59
BANGKOK (AFP) - "I could not find anybody in the States. There was nothing in America for me. That's why I'm here," says the clean-cut 52-year-old bachelor, who bears a passing resemblance to Hollywood actor Michael Douglas.
Sullivan, an emergency nurse from Florida, is one of a growing number of foreign men seeking young and beautiful Thai brides via the Internet.
Speaking at the Bangkok office of Sweet Singles, a Thai bride-by-Internet company, Sullivan says he has decided to "go beyond boundaries" in his search for a wife after a futile quest in the United States.
"American women in my age are, basically, a wreck. They are physically and emotionally beaten up from relationships and life. They are untrusting," says the well-built Sullivan, sporting a pink shirt and white pants.
"I think the feminist movement in America in the 60s really trashed American feminism. American women lack a certain femininity about them that women of other countries have," he laughs.
Sullivan contacted Sweet Singles six months ago and was introduced to Yoshita Tongsalee, an attractive 27-year-old teacher of traditional Thai dancing.
After corresponding with her via e-mails for three weeks, Sullivan decided to meet her and flew to Bangkok in early December.
"Just from e-mails, I knew she was the one. I just knew," says the American, his emerald earring dazzling.
"I find Thai women in general to be less self-centered and more family-centered than I find in western women," he says. The couple plans to marry next year.
John, a 43-year-old Briton who got married to a Thai woman four years ago via an Internet bride agency, also has grievances about western women.
"English women are very demanding and they expect you to be good-looking and have plenty of money and give them lots of attention. They drink a lot and they smoke a lot and they eat a lot," says John, who declined to give his last name.
"I am not very good at getting women anyway. I'm not the best-looking guy in the world. I'm quite short and it's very hard for me to find an English woman who is shorter than me," he says on the telephone from London.
Before marrying his Thai bride, John dated six British women, but his relationships with them were anything but happy.
"I'm just fed up with British women. They are not so loyal," he says.
When he met six Thai ladies in Bangkok via the Internet, including a 32-year-old business woman who later became his wife, John says he was struck by their kindness and family-centered values.
"I think Thai women are more loyal to their husbands. They are not just 'take, take take.' Also they have old-fashioned family values, which we used to have in this country," he says. John and his wife now have two young boys.
John and Marc declined to say how much they paid to get their Thai wives. Sweet Singles says it can charge a foreign man up to 1,700 dollars for a three-year membership to meet Thai ladies.
Some 10,000 foreign men have signed up with Sweet Singles over the last decade, and nearly half of them were previously divorced, says Bee, the company's customer service manager.
Some 80 percent of them get married to Thai women through the agency.
Americans account for 60 percent of the company's male clients, with the rest mostly from Australia, Britain, Germany and Scandinavian countries. Their average age ranges from 55 to 60.
Some 20,000 Thai women have also joined Sweet Singles, with their ages ranging from 20 to 40. The company charges a Thai woman 700 baht (20 dollars) for membership.
Bee, a petite 40-something, says Thai woman often have a favorable impression of foreigners.
"Many Thai girls were disappointed by Thai men who are famous for womanizing, drinking and gambling. Thai woman believe Caucasian men are more responsible and sincere and not playing around with other women," she says.
Thanitchaya Buaban, a striking 26-year-old beauty from Thailand's northern tourist spot of Chiang Mai, says she used to have a Thai boyfriend but he cheated on her many times.
"I was heart-broken. After I joined Sweet Singles, I started meeting foreigners and they were very kind and polite," she says at the firm's office.
Thanitchaya says she now has many American suitors who are trying to win her love with diamond rings and necklaces.
"I'm going to choose the best one," she says with a big smile.
For Sullivan's fiancee Yoshita, her experiences with Thai men were more traumatic.
"I was planning to marry my first Thai boyfriend, but he did not show up on our wedding day. He embarrassed me and my family," Yoshita says. "My second boyfriend cheated on me and impregnated another woman."
But Yoshita, who wears a golden heart necklace, says she is looking forward to living in Florida with the man of her dreams -- even if she still refers to him by his last name.
"I believe Mr Sullivan is a gift from God. He is really a good man and respects me. Every day I pray and thank Buddha for giving me Mr Sullivan," she says.
Sullivan nodded and held her hand.
"I have to step outside my own culture to find someone with whom I am compatible. I am not narrow-minded in that regard," he smiles.
The combative Bobbsey Twins on this thread don't realize that they themselves are making the case for American males to travel to Thailand an Lithuania seeking their luck. "Chicks with dicks" is a metaphor, ladies (oops, a politically incorrect term,) and you don't have to unbutton your 505 Levis to look!
"I had to call the shots last month. You have to call the shots this month."
When you stop looking at "running the show" as a prize, and start looking at it as hard work and being accountable...basically, a burden that ought to be shared...that's marriage for grownups.
Yep saw that but there seems to be a pervasive attitude in society that its only the men that cheat. We're supposed to think the men cheat while the women are out there working and taking care of their family. Its a bunch of hogwash.
People need to keep their pants on and honor their family.
Incidentally, the winking smiley always indicates that what was said was said tongue-in-cheek. It can be translated as, "NOT!" :-)
"You don't seem to understand how much WORK it takes to run a family.."
And you don't seem to understand a lot either.
It's the ones who insist on thinking for me I have trouble with...
I've always thought that they're fine on women, but I suppose if they make you happy...
:-)
Mark
No kidding, Revolting? It's a metaphor? Who'da thunk it?
And I have to tell you, there's a fair number of guys on this thread whom I hope decide NOT to inflict themselves on American women. I was going to use the phrase "Hardy Boys" to describe some of you, but then I realized THAT couldn't possibly be true....
Have a Merry and enjoy your Asian child-brides. I hope after they get their green cards, they don't take you for too much in the inevitable divorce.
This speaks to relationship problems in both men and women in the US.
Biologically, men have the prerogative of wanting their children to be theirs, genetically. Women have the double prerogative of wanting both the best sperm donor, and the best male to help her raise her offspring. If there are lots of men available, often it is not the same male.
It used to be that marriage was an enforced social sanction that benefited men, women, and their children. That the man would agree to help raise the children; and the woman would agree that the children would be his.
However, since marriage no longer is enforceable, the system has collapsed. This forces men and women to behave in a far more primitive and less optimal sexual behavior.
Males now revert to trying to impregnate as many females as possible, and females try and let their own bodies determine who among sperm donors is the best, genetically. The effort to get a male partner to help raise the child is stilted, deceitful, and coercive, at best. The emphasis all around is on the pleasure aspect of sex, instead of the procreation aspect.
Needless to say, lots of good people are not happy with this situation.
Males want a female partner who is not sexually, or at least energetically, exhausted from liaisons with numerous males, who instead can use that energy to raise their offspring. Females crave a male partner who is also monogamous, stable, and singularly provides solely for their children.
The problem is most evident in the older dating scene. Both men and women are so focused on what they want, that they are repulsed by what they see in potential mates. The women think the men are only interested in one-night adventures; the men think the women only care about money.
This is why the attraction to foreigners, used to the finality of marriage and the expectation of marital norms. We, who see ourselves as socially progressive, are in fact caught in a less advanced system of reproduction.
Foreigners are attractive, because their system is better than ours. This makes them, in turn, seem like better mates to us than each other.
The cold hard truth is that women are sold in Thailand, and; many have been sold into a life of prostution. Anyone, who has lived in the Orient for awhile knows this. If one thinks they can buy love-good luck.
No disagreement from me. I was just pointing out that the word 'adultery' has a specific meaning.
Sorry counselor, I wasn't hanging on your every word.
Congratulations on the dating (don't let him? see this thread) and the large salary (Argumentum ad Baculum).
How dare you bring logic and reason to this thread?!?!?
It looks to me like maybe you've pissed off the pink shirt, white pants kind of guys here.
I'm back in Grace again!
LOL!
Give me an Irish woman or Italian any day.
American women (not all) are annoying.
Well gee, sorry, I guess I'm just not one of those "feminine" Thai women.
Funny I never hear anyone complain about Ann Coulter's lack of femininity...and she can sound like a truck driver.
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