Humor Request

Self | 12/19/2006 | 50sdad

[50sDad]

Can anyone post here the "Merry Christmas Legal Disclaimer" that has been posted many times before. Something on the order of "Wish does not imply fullfillment, merely good intention, blah, blah..."

[boxerblues]

this one?

“Legal Disclaimer: ‘Merry Christmas’ (hereafter ‘The Greeting’) . . . this announcement is not intended to offend, alienate, foster hate, or be a precursor for any egregious acts (legal or illegal), thoughts, words, or deeds. ‘The Greeting’ is made only in the context in which it may be legally received, if in fact, it is received at all. It is not intended to be nor should it be, in any way, connected to any other type of greeting, real or imagined, past, present or future. No references to any persons, things, or substances, animate or inanimate, real, fictional, or otherwise, should be assumed by the reader or receiver of the greeting (hereafter, ‘the greetee’). The greeting is not being made to (nor will tenders be accepted from or on behalf of) nonbelievers in ‘The Greeting’ in any jurisdiction in which making and/or accepting the greeting would violate that jurisdiction’s laws or feelings (also refer to local statutes and ordinances related to ‘The Greeting’). In any jurisdiction in which perceived ‘greeting’ is not welcomed nor agreed upon by all ‘greetees,’ then the ‘greetor’ of ‘The Greeting’ will be held harmless in this life and the next, including all issuing posterity both now and forever. ‘The Greeting’ may be made by a licensed ‘greetor’ and any liability assumed or created by the ‘greetee’ shall be the sole responsibility of said ‘greetor.’ If you have been aggrieved, offended, waylaid, parlayed, filleted, or delayed in any way, either real, imagined, or perceived by said ‘Greeting’ and/or by ‘greetor’ as the result of receiving said ‘greeting’ you can call toll free 1-800-CHRISTMAS to speak with legal counsel.”

[50sDad]

THAT's a new land speed record!

[Big Red Clay]

this one?
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wish or to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/ others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor

[silverleaf]

Don't have that but you might enjoy this!


http://www.mypartypost.com/watchvideo/727/Blue_Collar-_Politically_Correct_Christmas

[boxerblues]

lol google is my best friend

[B.O. Plenty]

Disclaimer Bumps

[Man50D]

You need some large Christmas cards to include this disclaimer.

[HEY4QDEMS]

For My Democratic Friends:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For My Republican Friends: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[n230099]

There was another one having to do with the Santa cookie disclaimer

---

"Santa Claus, AKA Kris Kringle, AKA Jolly Old St. Nick (hereinafter referred to as “Santa”) acknowledges receipt of Christmas cookies from ______________________ (hereinafter referred to as “Baker”). Santa acknowledges and understands that no warranty, either express or implied, is made by Baker as to the nutritional content of cookies.

This document is offered to duly warn Santa that dangerous conditions, risks, and hazards may result from overconsumption of cookies. Santa is hereby informed that cookies may contain any or all of the following: calories, carbohydrates, sodium (salt), fat, saturated fat, trans fat, polyunsaturated fat, monounsaturated fat, nuts, sugar, caffeine, chocolate “chips” and/or “chunks,” and good cheer.

Santa acknowledges that eating way too many cookies may incur risks including, but not limited to, satiation, indigestion, heartburn, dizziness, laziness, holiday spirit, “food coma,” and “that bloated feeling.”

As consideration for accepting Baker’s cookies, Santa indemnifies Baker from all liability for injury or other harm (including obesity) which may be caused, in whole or in part, by said “too many” cookies. Santa agrees that neither he, nor his agents or personal representatives, will sue Baker for any injury suffered, in whole or in part, as a consequence of ingesting cookies. Santa assumes full responsibility and will indemnify Baker for any damages in the event that he transfers cookies to any third party (including, but not limited to, potential claimants Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, Mrs. Claus, and various elves).

This indemnification includes an agreement not to haul Baker into court on the basis of:

1. Failure to provide nutrition information and a list of ingredients (the “Grandma’s secret recipe” clause);

2. Failure to caution of the potential for overeating because cookies taste “yummy” and are provided at no cost;

3. Failure to advise that walking, biking, and jogging will shed pounds, but riding around on a reindeer-powered sleigh will not;

4. Failure to warn that Christmas lights, lawn ornaments (plastic reindeer, snowmen, etc.) and other holiday dec orations may constitute manipulative marketing to lure Santa into over-consumption.

5. Failure to offer “healthier” cookie alternatives (e.g., tofu bars or carrot sticks);

6. Failure to counsel that cookies may be habit-forming and/or irresistible; and

7. Failure to notify that eating too many cookies may lead to even greater levels of obesity for St. Nick (the “Sanity Clause”).

SANTA HAS READ THIS DOCUMENT AND UNDERSTANDS IT. SANTA IS SIGNING IT FREELY AND VOLUNTARILY, AND PROMISES NOT TO APPEAR AS A WITNESS IN SUPPORT OF JOHN “SUE THE BASTARDS” BANZHAF, ESQ., OR ANY OTHER PERSONS WITH LAW DEGREES WHO CANNOT OTHERWISE FIND MEANINGFUL EMPLOYMENT, AT ANY TIME IN THE FUTURE. Don’t Sue The Hand That Feeds You. CHRISTMAS COOKIE LIABILITY AND INDEMNIFICATION Santa Date Provided by: For more information visit ConsumerFreedom.com. To schedule an interview, contact Mike Burita at (202) 463-7112."

[bamahead]

ping for later!

[HEY4QDEMS]

[Deguello]

bump

[Matchett-PI]

You use a picture of the Marxist's Jesus to tell people not to ruin his birthday????

What's up with that?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1699954/posts?page=31#31

[HEY4QDEMS]

That's not "the Marxist's Jesus" becuase a poster from FR thinks it is.

My daughter's catholic high school sells those exact same dolls in the school book store.

Give me a break!

[IrishMike]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1753436/posts

[silverleaf]

Perhaps you would prefer he used the Anglican Jesus?

[Matchett-PI]

Same difference.

[freedomlover]

"You use a picture of the Marxist's Jesus to tell people not to ruin his birthday???? "

---

It's a joke - odd for this thread I know.
I thought it was funny and I'm Christian

[Wormwood]

Ah, the Buddy Christ. I have one proudly displayed on my desk hgere at work.

"For example, the crucifix. While it has been a time honored symbol of our faith, Holy Mother Church has decided to retire this highly recognizable, yet wholly depressing image of our Lord crucified. Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies... He came to help us out. He was a booster!"

Cardinal Glick, Dogma