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My Father Was an Anonymous Sperm Donor
Washington Post ^ | 17 December 2006 | Katrina Clark

Posted on 12/18/2006 5:26:26 AM PST by shrinkermd

...I'm 18, and for most of my life, I haven't known half my origins...

...That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn't know his name. My mother never talked about him -- because she didn't have a clue who he was.

When she was 32, my mother -- single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family -- allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child....

...I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the "parents" -- the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation." As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?

Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies -- conceived in the late 1980s and early '90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish.. I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: father; liberalagenda; moralabsolutes; search; spermdonor
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To: highball

In a theoretical sense, of course she is. But she is not whining, she is speaking out to stop others from being created on purpose with no intent of providing a father.

I know I am going out on a limb on this thread, but consider the concept of a woman's absolute right not to carry a child who is conceived by rape. In that instance the woman chooses not to have a certain father in a potential child's life.

Whether it is a food stamp using mother or a Hollywood megastar, by artificial insemination conception the child is deliberately created to live a life without a father.

These two positions (rejecting a rapist's baby or making an anonymous baby) focus entirely on the woman, and give no consideration to the psyche of the planned child. Both are totally self-centered.

Of course, we all live with the cards we are dealt, as this writer says. It is the designer production of human beings that she is bringing to the attention of her audience. I applaud her.


61 posted on 12/18/2006 7:23:55 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: Hatteras
This is how the article finished. Apparently you did not read it nor understand what her motive was for writing this article. What she is saying is fathers are important and knowing your father is a strong drive:

"...As relief about my own situation has come to me, I've talked freely and regularly about being donor-conceived, in public and in private. In the beginning, I also talked about it a lot with my biological father. After a bit, though, I noticed that his enthusiasm for our developing relationship seemed to be waning. When I told him of my suspicion, he confirmed that he was tired of "this whole sperm-donor thing." The irony stings me more each time I think of him saying that. The very thing that brought us together was pushing us in opposite directions.

Even though I've only recently come into contact with him, I wouldn't be able to just suck it up if he stopped communicating with me. There's still so much I want to know. I want to know him. I want to know his family. I'm certain he has no idea how big a role he has played in my life despite his absence -- or because of his absence. If I can't be too attached to him as my father, I'll still always be attached to the feeling I now have of having a father.

"I feel more whole now than I ever have. I love our conversations, even the most trivial ones. I don't love him, and I don't know if I ever will, but I care about him a lot.

"Now that he knows I exist, I'm okay if he doesn't care for me in the same way. But I hope he at least thinks of me sometimes.

This young woman shows not only courage but maturity in dealing with life as she found it. She is not seeking sympathy or pity. She shares her personal experience and trials in a way I find quite admirable.

62 posted on 12/18/2006 7:25:12 AM PST by shrinkermd
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To: shrinkermd; 69ConvertibleFirebird; Alexander Rubin; An American In Dairyland; Antoninus; ...
Moral Absolutes Ping!

Freepmail wagglebee or little jeremiah to subscribe or unsubscribe from the moral absolutes ping list.

FreeRepublic moral absolutes keyword search
[ Add keyword moral absolutes to flag FR articles to this ping list ]


63 posted on 12/18/2006 7:27:09 AM PST by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: shrinkermd

bookmark for later reading


64 posted on 12/18/2006 7:28:53 AM PST by Puddleglum
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To: Big_Harry

My heart goes out to you and your daughter.

It is amazing that mothers, who wouldn't think of not putting a seatbelt on their child, or let them ride a bike without a helmet these days, etc, could so wilfully ignore the mental health of their child.


65 posted on 12/18/2006 7:31:01 AM PST by maica (America will be a hyperpower that's all hype and no power -- if we do not prevail in Iraq)
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To: shrinkermd

Prelude to the Sperm Donor Wars.


66 posted on 12/18/2006 7:33:16 AM PST by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: shrinkermd

Once again, it is proved that the momentary expedient has long lasting repercussions. The inevitable truth of liberalization, and the impulse of the Left to rewrite long-existing rules of society on the fly.


67 posted on 12/18/2006 7:37:39 AM PST by atomicpossum (Replies must follow approved guidelines or you will be kill-filed without appeal.)
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To: shrinkermd
Another consequence of the "me me me" generation.
68 posted on 12/18/2006 7:38:38 AM PST by GrandEagle
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To: Ditter

And it's better to deliberately increase the number of kids going through the "my parents didn't want me syndrome"?

As one with an adopted sister, that's just plain cruel.


69 posted on 12/18/2006 7:43:10 AM PST by bordergal (There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men bad enough for this treachery)
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To: shrinkermd

Very interesting. It would seem that human beings need familial relationships, wouldn't it? Feminists are so dense.


70 posted on 12/18/2006 8:08:53 AM PST by Froufrou
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To: Red Badger
Jodie Foster's kid will have these same feeling when he gets to be an adult........

Hollyweird is replete with selfish, self-serving, self-agrandizing, narcissistic elitists who absolutely "know" (sarc) how the world should be. May their futures come back and bite them on the _______.

71 posted on 12/18/2006 8:10:07 AM PST by SoldierDad (Proud Father of a 10th Mountain Division 2nd BCT Soldier back in the "SandBox")
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To: maica

Thanks for that. I have to bear the brunt of the responsibilty since I married for "cuteness in cutoffs" over character. My daughter is in the very capable hands of God, who loves her even more than I do. She will be fine in time.


72 posted on 12/18/2006 8:13:34 AM PST by Big_Harry ( Thank God I am an "Infidel"!)
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To: shrinkermd

Would we have opened this thread quicker if the title had been:

My Mother Was an Anonymous Sperm Collector ??


73 posted on 12/18/2006 8:18:38 AM PST by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: Big_Harry
Yikes! I'm sorry for you and for your daughter, that you're having to go through that.

Prayers.

74 posted on 12/18/2006 8:22:40 AM PST by AnAmericanMother ((Ministrix of Ye Chase, TTGC Ladies' Auxiliary (recess appointment)))
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To: shrinkermd
We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion.

You are not alone!

MANY are like this, and NO syringe was involved!!

75 posted on 12/18/2006 8:27:51 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going....)
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To: DB
Living off food stamps and then purposely having a child is not something I respect much.

Why have we spineless taxpayers ALLOWED this?

We need NEGATIVE feedback to cut down on this idiocy; not POSTITIVE!!!

SHAME!


76 posted on 12/18/2006 8:29:30 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going....)
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To: durasell
Must have been a very quiet interview.

I know a deaf person, and they can SPEAK just like the rest of us!

77 posted on 12/18/2006 8:33:29 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going....)
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To: Republican Babe

LOL!


(HMmmm....)


78 posted on 12/18/2006 8:34:31 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going....)
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To: maica
... they had wanted a child that would be like themselves. The four-month old boy ....

I'd be grabbing my goodies, son, for your Mommie's haven't quite got the 'ideal'; yet!

79 posted on 12/18/2006 8:36:17 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going....)
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To: bordergal
Are you saying I am being cruel? I adopted 3 children, that was my point. I asked all 3 of my children when they turned 18 if they had any desire to located biological parents and they all said "Why should we?" Also my husband has an adopted sister and brother and of the whole group of adoptees only one, my husbands brother, had any interest in knowing who their biological parents were.
80 posted on 12/18/2006 8:36:20 AM PST by Ditter
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