Posted on 12/18/2006 5:26:26 AM PST by shrinkermd
...I'm 18, and for most of my life, I haven't known half my origins...
...That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn't know his name. My mother never talked about him -- because she didn't have a clue who he was.
When she was 32, my mother -- single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family -- allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child....
...I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the "parents" -- the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation." As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?
Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies -- conceived in the late 1980s and early '90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish.. I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
In a theoretical sense, of course she is. But she is not whining, she is speaking out to stop others from being created on purpose with no intent of providing a father.
I know I am going out on a limb on this thread, but consider the concept of a woman's absolute right not to carry a child who is conceived by rape. In that instance the woman chooses not to have a certain father in a potential child's life.
Whether it is a food stamp using mother or a Hollywood megastar, by artificial insemination conception the child is deliberately created to live a life without a father.
These two positions (rejecting a rapist's baby or making an anonymous baby) focus entirely on the woman, and give no consideration to the psyche of the planned child. Both are totally self-centered.
Of course, we all live with the cards we are dealt, as this writer says. It is the designer production of human beings that she is bringing to the attention of her audience. I applaud her.
"...As relief about my own situation has come to me, I've talked freely and regularly about being donor-conceived, in public and in private. In the beginning, I also talked about it a lot with my biological father. After a bit, though, I noticed that his enthusiasm for our developing relationship seemed to be waning. When I told him of my suspicion, he confirmed that he was tired of "this whole sperm-donor thing." The irony stings me more each time I think of him saying that. The very thing that brought us together was pushing us in opposite directions.
Even though I've only recently come into contact with him, I wouldn't be able to just suck it up if he stopped communicating with me. There's still so much I want to know. I want to know him. I want to know his family. I'm certain he has no idea how big a role he has played in my life despite his absence -- or because of his absence. If I can't be too attached to him as my father, I'll still always be attached to the feeling I now have of having a father.
"I feel more whole now than I ever have. I love our conversations, even the most trivial ones. I don't love him, and I don't know if I ever will, but I care about him a lot.
"Now that he knows I exist, I'm okay if he doesn't care for me in the same way. But I hope he at least thinks of me sometimes.
This young woman shows not only courage but maturity in dealing with life as she found it. She is not seeking sympathy or pity. She shares her personal experience and trials in a way I find quite admirable.
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My heart goes out to you and your daughter.
It is amazing that mothers, who wouldn't think of not putting a seatbelt on their child, or let them ride a bike without a helmet these days, etc, could so wilfully ignore the mental health of their child.
Prelude to the Sperm Donor Wars.
Once again, it is proved that the momentary expedient has long lasting repercussions. The inevitable truth of liberalization, and the impulse of the Left to rewrite long-existing rules of society on the fly.
And it's better to deliberately increase the number of kids going through the "my parents didn't want me syndrome"?
As one with an adopted sister, that's just plain cruel.
Very interesting. It would seem that human beings need familial relationships, wouldn't it? Feminists are so dense.
Hollyweird is replete with selfish, self-serving, self-agrandizing, narcissistic elitists who absolutely "know" (sarc) how the world should be. May their futures come back and bite them on the _______.
Thanks for that. I have to bear the brunt of the responsibilty since I married for "cuteness in cutoffs" over character. My daughter is in the very capable hands of God, who loves her even more than I do. She will be fine in time.
Would we have opened this thread quicker if the title had been:
My Mother Was an Anonymous Sperm Collector ??
Prayers.
You are not alone!
MANY are like this, and NO syringe was involved!!
Why have we spineless taxpayers ALLOWED this?
We need NEGATIVE feedback to cut down on this idiocy; not POSTITIVE!!!
I know a deaf person, and they can SPEAK just like the rest of us!
LOL!
(HMmmm....)
I'd be grabbing my goodies, son, for your Mommie's haven't quite got the 'ideal'; yet!
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