When mommy goes off to war, it's rough on kids [sickening]

The Seattle Times ^ | 11/28/06 | Donna St. George

[XR7]

HAVRE DE GRACE, Md. — When they called her name, she could not move. Sgt. Leana Nishimura intended to walk up proudly, shake the dignitaries' hands and accept their honors for her service in Iraq — a special coin, a lapel pin, a glass-encased U.S. flag.

But her son clung to her leg. He cried and held tight...T.J. was 9, her oldest child, and although eight months had passed since she had returned from the war zone, he was still upset by anything that reminded him of her deployment...

The faraway move to live with his grandmother. The months that went by without his mother's kisses or hugs, without her scrutiny of homework, her teasing humor, her familiar bedtime songs.

Nishimura was a single mother — with no spouse to take over, to preserve her children's routines, to keep up the family apartment.

Of her three children, T.J. seemed to worry most... "He went from having one parent to having no parents, basically," Nishimura said, reflecting. "People have said, 'Thank you so much for your sacrifice.' But it's the children who have had more of a sacrifice."

When war started in Iraq, a generation of U.S. women became involved as never before — in a wider-than-ever array of jobs, for long deployments, in a conflict with daily bloodshed. More than 155,000 women have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Among their ranks are more than 16,000 single mothers, according to the Pentagon, a number that military experts say is unprecedented.

How these women have coped and how their children are managing have gone little noticed as the war stretches across a fourth year...

"I tell [the children] that if God needs Mommy to go ... then Mommy's going to have to go again and they're going to have to let me."

[traditional1]

"I also googled "single mother" definition"

Ah, yes: Google....now THERE'S a truly un-biased source with no Liberal agenda!

When have you heard the term "un-wed" mother lately on Google (except as part of posts on conservative-type websites)?

[trisham]

SHE IS A DIVORCED MOTHER OF THREE.

***********

Correct. :)

[traditional1]

Thanks for speaking slowly. Good to see a common sense post.

Well done.

[Stone Mountain]

The actual woman in the article was lumped-in with the politically-correct term "single mother", which was coined to provide safe-haven/acceptance for UNWED MOTHERS, and is mis-applied in the article to a divorcee. My point, again, is that an un-wed mother is more accurately the description of an un-married woman who has had a child by father or fathers unknown, and has been provided stigmatization-insurance by application of the term "single mother".

I still don't get your point. She was referred to as a single mother in the article. That is completely accurate. You're saying the article should have referred to her as a divorcee bringing up children alone? Like divorce doesn't have a stigma too? It's hard for me to understand what the problem with referring to this person as a single mother is.

Or is your beef not with this article, but the way people refer to single mothers who didn't attain that status in a socially acceptable way for you?

[MarkL]

Thank you Patsy Schroeder and "friends"

Mark

[Stone Mountain]

SHE IS A DIVORCED MOTHER OF THREE.

How does that not make her a single mother? Apparently, people want to coin their own definitions of the term, but the real meaning and general usage in this country of the term "single mother" is a woman bringing up children herself. For whatever reason.

[traditional1]

Discredited post, eh?

Thanks for the evaluation by an expert.

Un-wed=never married

Divorcee=previously married.

end of story

Hope you can understand the concept here.

[linda_22003]

People have to figure out whether they should hate her or not. ;)

[trisham]

Repetition seems to be your forte.

[Stone Mountain]

Ah, yes: Google....now THERE'S a truly un-biased source with no Liberal agenda!

I gave you a definition of the term. I provided you sources. You provided me your opinion of the definition of the term. You have provided no support. I think you're wrong, and you haven't shown me anything to the contrary.

When have you heard the term "un-wed" mother lately on Google (except as part of posts on conservative-type websites)?

Google is a search engine. If you google the term "unwed mother" you;ll get a bunch of hits. I have no idea what your point is here.

[traditional1]

Yes

Do you walk to work, or carry your lunch?

[Stone Mountain]

Repetition seems to be your forte.

You seem to be incapable of addressing the point, so thus, I must repeat myself.

[Stone Mountain]

Was the "yes" was in response to this question?: Or is your beef not with this article, but the way people refer to single mothers who didn't attain that status in a socially acceptable way for you?

Do you walk to work, or carry your lunch?

I'm sure this is clever, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

[Stone Mountain]

People have to figure out whether they should hate her or not. ;)

Honestly, that's the impression I'm getting from some here...

[Stone Mountain]

I have no interest in discussing this, or any other issue with you.

You always see comments like this on FR, but people who post stuff like this never seem to be able to stay away... I guess you have more interest in discussing this with me than you thought...

[XR7]

"Society" did not send this woman to Iraq, she did.

During more honourable times, she would not have even been allowed to go. A Patton, an Eisenhower, a MacArthur, would not have allowed it - whether she misguidedly "volunteered" or not. Of course, there are few true men of honour around nowadays.

[VRWCmember]

With the lawsuits and executive orders that had already forced women in combat on the army during the 90s, it would be pretty difficult to put the toothpaste back in the tube. W inherited this situation.

[traditional1]

Un-wed mother is being removed from the American vocabulary by Liberals and sympathizers to remove the stigma of out-of-wedlock births. The disappearance of the term is intentional, to provide societal acceptance of non-marital births. Just as abortion is being replaced with "womans' right to choose", un-wed mothers are being lumped with divorcees and widows.

That was my point, however poorly elicited.

In regards to the woman in the article, she has shown exceptional self-dignity in gathering up a rough life, and making the best of it going forward from a failed marriage, and placing herself in harm's way to provide for her children, and serving her country. (I did not in any way disparage the effort or successes of the subject in the story. Others ASSUMED incorrectly that I had some issue with the woman, but I have none.)

The un-wed, illegitimate birth rate is 37% of all births today, where the mother is commonly known by non-PC'ers as "un-wed" mothers.

[XR7]

The Army is VERY PC these days. I can't tell you how much training we get on "prevention of sexual harassment" celebration of this or that monority's history month, etc. etc. It's amazing we can get any work done.

Sickening. What happens when we get into a real hot war?

[traditional1]

No, I'm not judging the person in the article whatsoever, and I don't assign my personal preference any more weight than anyone else's opinion.

The concept, IMHO, that I don't particularly care for is lumping divorcees, widows, and un-wed mothers into one category called "single mothers" to hide the reality of their circumstance for "preventing stigmatization".

You can only be stigmatized by your own actions in these cases, so having your "feelings hurt" is a non-issue to me.