Posted on 11/26/2006 5:02:22 AM PST by shrinkermd
....More American women than ever are putting motherhood before matrimony. New data released by the Centers for Disease Control show that nearly four in 10 U.S. babies were born outside of marriage in 2005a new high. These unwed moms aren't all teenslast year teen pregnancies fell to their lowest levels in 65 years. Somelike 44-year-old Mary Lee MacKichan, who used a gay friend as a sperm donorare professional, older women who want to have babies before their biological clocks run out, but most are low-income twentysomethings. (Unwed births among 30- to 44-year-olds are up 17 percent since 1991; among those 25 to 29, they're up 30 percent.) And some 40 percent of those moms aren't going it alonethey're cohabiting, at least for a while. That's creating a major shift in what a generation of children are coming to call a family. "Marriage is still alive and well, but it has a lot of competition," says Wellesley College sociologist Rosanna Hertz, author of "Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice."
Ironically, sociologists say, marriage may be on the decline precisely because it has become so idealized. People expect more from marriage than they did a century ago, when it was mainly a practical arrangement to provide financial stability for women and a place to raise children. "Now it's not only love and romance but also self-fulfillment and personal growth," says Pamela Smock, professor of sociology at the University of Michigan. Since there's no longer much of a stigma attached to getting pregnant outside of marriage, many couples have replaced "shotgun weddings" with "shotgun cohabitations
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
Try a variation - boeuf flamande, with dark beer instead of the wine. mmmmmm
For some reason, I'm getting a huge craving for pot roast tonight. Too bad it's chicken.
It must be nice to be so great at everything that you have to be bad at cooking in order to have other people think you're human! Personally, I think there's nothing better than knowing I can, any time I want to make the effort, have an absolutely delicious meal. I usually feed the leftovers to myself and my husband for lunch the next day so I make darn sure it's good!
In math, "equal" means "the same as". In relationships that's not true. Women aren't the same as men, and that doesn't make them better or worse. Just different. That is a good thing. Most women, when confronted with their own infant child, will feel nurturing and want to care for it. Obviously no blanket statement is true for everything.
I am sorry you think so little of men that you'd deny your hypothetical child a father. Before I met my husband, I sort of wanted kids. It was a "maybe that'd be nice one day" thing. Since i've met him I'm looking eagerly forward to our family. I can see all the traits and skills he has that will mix with what I have in our children. It's so much more exciting to think about 'our' children than 'my' children. I can't imagine having kids on my own or with anyone else.
And that's very true also, and something I don't think Accygirl has a grasp of. Those folks are fighting a nonexistent battle. The unpleasant corollary to that is that Accygirl is fighting an essentially non existent battle also.
But if it makes them all happy, fine.
MMMM. Sounds good, do you use a German dark like a highly malted Dunkel, or do you lean more towards a sweeter Porter from Britain? I won't use a stout, probably--been there, done that.
Stout would be too bitter; anything else is okay, but I would be more likely to have something British in the house. Bass or Old Peculier both work well.
I have 1 special needs child. She doesn't do after school activities. My regular middle school so probably has more activities than she does.
There is no bus to any of my kids' school. Lots of communities do not have busing anymore. If your kids are in private school, they also do not have busing. Parents drive their kids to school.
A child needs about 10 hours of sleep at night. If they are going to a sitters at 6 they won't go back to sleep. Once kids are awake, they are awake. So they have to go to bed early. That means they need to go to bed at like 7:30pm.
I have a middle school son who is in high school algebra. Most nannies would not be able to help him in his math, and that is the area that he needs help in.
My special needs daughter has actually less appointments than a kid with allergies and/or asthma. Ashtma is very common these days, especially among kids that go to daycare. Kids with frequent ear infections go to the doctors alot. Kids with glasses go to the doctors alot.
My kids have not started braces yet. That is tons of appointments, and most every child has to go through that. Multiply that by 2 or 3 (or more), and you have a lot of appointments.
"One parent could cut back on work or even work from the home if possible..."
That's what I have said all along. However, one parent has to. It may not be the woman. It could be the man.
You don't know what kind of child you will have. You need to be financially able to handle staying at home.
I made around 60K when I quit working 10 years ago. By the time you took away the nanny, the housekeeper, the clothes, the gas, the food in order to keep me working, I just didn't make that much money. I think we figured it was around 15K a year that we actually benefitted from, and it was a ton of stress. I ended up staying home. My husband did a few extra jobs because he had the time, and it was a lot less stress.
No, not at all. And to the extent that you limit it to that you will be consistently wrong also. It was you who created those two options and have tried to limit the debate to that. Of course, that's self serving. When you frame the debate that way, you have to win.
The range is broader, and therein you may not always win. You rationalize the use of the false dichotomy, but most adults here know that's not the choice. You protest that you are confronting the other folks, and I don't doubt you are sincere. Yet, you chronically are unable to depart from it, which undermines your position more than you may know.
I like watching narrow-minded people's heads explode when presenting them with a position that they hate. It helps me to blow off steam.
I'd suggest finding another hobby, but if you like it, fine. But I do have to point out that your thinking consistently comes across narrow also. So that steam you may be blowing off might just be your own head exploding. I really can't say.
While your basic position is sound and I agree with it, you seem unable to communicate effectively. But good luck - thinking gets better with clarity and practice. Or so I've been told.
Yes, I thought so to, but unfortunately it still isn't for some people.
That made me think of this.
Do yourself a favor, and talk to as many single moms as you can before you opt for single parenthood. It's not about being a "PTA mommy", but the myriad of activities that kids involve themselves in, whether it be dance, sports, you name it. You will owe it to your child(ren) to be actively involved in their lives.
God forbid your child not share your passion for education (lol)! My daughter is doing quite well in college, while my son has been a marginal student. He will be attending a local community college until he proves that he can handle the requirements of a 4 year college.
Beware! Babies are messy, and demanding. Please don't wear expensive clothing while burping the "ankle biter", lest he/she spit up several ounces of formula on you. Demanding? You can count on your baby waking up in the middle of the night BEFORE an important presentation.
I wish you well in your endeavors.
BTW, since you expressed a preference for wine tasting, I strongly recommend a trip to the Mosel River Valley in Germany, particularly during the summer months. You'd be able to enjoy any of several wine fests from Trier to Koblenz. Great wine, and very friendly people. Prosit!
Sam Adams just had a limited release called the Patriots Collection that had a wonderful Porter that was supposedly a recipe used by George Washington. Too bad it was a seasonal and now is done for until next year.
"Just something I saw in the window...." :)
You THINK you'd have nothing in common with them. How many members of the military have you actually met or deigned to talk to? Please continue to feel that way. The rest of us who know better will steer nicer young ladies toward our brave soldiers.
I'm sure that soldiers are "prime catches" for another catch of girls, but for those of us working toward our graduate degrees, they really are not our type
Speak for yourself, honey.
Do you really think a little child knows or cares what Daddy does for a living?
They care that they have a Daddy and a Mommy who love them, and love each other. They need to see and experience both masculine and feminine parenting styles to understand how to parent as adults.
As a man, and a grad-school educated professional, and a husband of another grad-schoool educated professional, and a father of 4 ... I can see why you might have trouble finding a husband.
What I get from your posts is that you think Dads are optional (meaning you'll feel free to dump him and leave with the kids) and the most important thing about a man to you is his ability to earn big bucks (which means you'll ditch him if he's ever unemployed or unable to work for health reasons). Maybe I'm wrong, but that's absolutely how you come across.
Wow. That really reveals a lot about you.
Cooking a pot roast for your husband, does not make you repressed or limit your intellectual self-worth.
If you really believe that, you have no intellect to feel any self worth about, so I guess it would be understandable that you feel that way.
Sheesh. It's just a pot roast. Get over it.
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