Jackasses take Congress: Dead Horses hardest hit
by JohnHuang2
Under the heading, World's Forests Rebounding, Study Suggests, a report noted "forests are branching out across the planet anew, raising hopes that an end to deforestation may be in sight," and that "deforestation is not as drastic as it once was and that forests are recovering in many countries" -- just one week after the Democrats won! Already our planet is a better place.
Over at that other planet called the Washington Post, we're told "the majority party that takes control of the House and Senate in January will look significantly different from the party that was swept from power in the 1994 elections. The old-guard liberals and staunch union supporters in control then are giving way to" . . . new-guard liberals and staunch union supporters. No, no, no, the J-School honor grads at WaPo insist. We have here "a new generation of moderates with more temperate legislative ambitions" -- this, on the basis of their campaign rhetoric. But the campaign is over, baby, and the SanFranNan crowd won't be steamrolled by any freshmen whippersnappers.
The Post claims the Democrats are "looking to the Republican takeover in 1995 as an object lesson of what to emulate and what to avoid," hoping to avoid "at all costs" the "mistakes" of the GOP. To avoid these "mistakes" which kept the GOP in power for 12 years, Democrats have latched onto a brilliant strategy:
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-- For clues and fresh ideas on governing and winning wars, they've exhumed George McGovern. The old goat is the go-to-goat for winning advice. More likely, they dug him out of the memory hole for priceless tips on surrendering. Experience counts! With Korea and Viet Nam, the Dems served up 120,000 dead Americans. Yes, listen to these guys for war advice.
-- Pelosi wants unindicted ABSCAM co-conspirator John Murtha to get the Majority Leader gig in order to "drain the swamp" of GOP "corruption" and impeached federal judge Alcee Hastings to bump off ranking Dem Jane Harman at House Intelligence in order to make America safe again. Hastings and Murtha will really shine.
(But! As of this writing, the contest for majority leader -- Murtha vrs. Steny Hoyer -- has been racked by all-out civil war, a sign the honeymoon may at last be over. Pelosi backs Murtha. Murtha accuses Hoyer of warmongering. Hoyer accuses Murtha of lying. Pelosi accuses Hoyer of disloyalty. Hoyer accuses Murtha of corruption. Murtha accuses Hoyer of spreading "unfounded allegations" of things he did 26 years ago. Murtha, who backed the Iraq war in 2003, accuses Hoyer of backing the Iraq war in 2006. Will Hoyer cut and run? Or, will Murtha redeploy to the Okinawa Committee? The vote is Thursday.)
-- Incoming House Ways and Means Committee honcho Charlie Rangel was quoted in the New York Times last week saying, "Mississippi gets more than its fair share back in federal money, but who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?" Yes, who the hell wants to live in that dirty, rat-infested, high-crime/high-tax diseased hellhole, New York City? This must be part of the Dems' "Southern Strategy" to reach out to Southerners. (In fairness, Rangel's spokes-hack later sent the AP an apology, noting that it was just a botched joke about Iraq.)
-- Another mistake Democrats are making is gloating too much. Did you hear what their "Blue Dog" spokesman said? "The American people have taken a step in the right path to come out of their predicament . . . they voted for a level of reason." Oh wait, that's 'al-Qaeda in Iraq.' But the tape is probably fake. No al-Qaeda in Iraq. Heard it on CBS last night.
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Next door in Iran, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei also congratulated the Democrats. "The issue of these elections was not a purely domestic issue for America, but it is the defeat of Bush's hawkish policies in the world," he said, adding, Death to America. To their credit, Democrats swiftly issued a statement condemning the Ayatollah for questioning their patriotism.
The Ayatollah's remarks about neo-con hawks were seen as a veiled reference to Jews -- just the kind of thing that leads to suspicion the Ayatollahs are anti-Semitic.
Since the 'newly empowered' libbies won't be able to get any of the nutty stuff past Bush's veto pen, they'll be jumping ugly on 'Bushigula' through hearings. Raise taxes? Dead on Arrival at the White House. Cut off funding for troops in Iraq? Bush'd do a tap dance on their heads. Gay marriage? Hard to ride this three-legged pony. Socialist health care? Pushing up daisies. Bring back the draft? Idea croaked long ago. Gun-grabbing? V-E-T-O.
So the Nancy boys are gearing up for hearings as the only way to get their rocks off. If impeachment is your bag, there's John Conyers as Judiciary Committee head honcho. Got the hots for Katrina? There's Washington heart-throb Henry Waxman as boss of the House Government Reform Committee looking into Katrina, Halliburton, Iraq war re-building/contracting, New Orleans re-building/Contracting, Mississippi re-building/contracting, White House rebuilding/contracting in 1814 after the fire.
Over at the You've Gotta Be Kidding Committee, impeached Alcee Hastings is eager to look into convicted Duke Cunningham's bribe-taking and links to defense contractors. Hastings says bribery in government is bad. In fact, he's trying to kick the habit.
Can't get enough of Jack Abramoff, Tom DeLay and the Northern Marianas Islands? There's George Miller at the Education and Workforce Committee. After a full rehash of Abramoff, Miller opens a preliminary probe into . . . Enron. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Some say the GOP is finished, may as well hang it up, boys, the Dems are in charge for the long haul, GOP ain't gonna get the needed 15 seats to get back in charge any time soon. Two years of Nancy Pelosi and daily 'WE-INTERRUPT-YOUR-FAVORITE-SOAP-OPERA-TO-BRING-YOU-3-THRILLING-HOURS-OF-HENRY-WAXMAN-AND-THE-LATEST-TITILLATING-BOMBSHELL-REGARDING-THE-3rd-PARAGRAPH-IN-HALLIBURTON'S-3rd-NO-BID-CONTRACT-FOR-WORK-ON-OIL-WELL-No.-3-IN-THE-3rd-PROVINCE-IN-IRAQ!' won't be enough -- the American people will clamor for 'TWO-MORE-YEARS!' of this and endless rehash "probes" into the rationale for the Iraq war (gotta get to the bottom of this war Jon Carry voted for), "pre-war" intelligence cooked up by moron BusHitler, Downing Street Memos, Jeff Gannon, Valerie Plame, Katrina Plame, the appalling lack of warm blankets for Gitmo inmates and those explicit e-mails from Cheney to 16-year-old Halliburton spin-off company, Global Illuminati Drilling, blah, blah, blah. After all this, throw in a few months of riveting "oversight" hearings on Unocal pipelines.
If you want to see how well public "hearings" have worked for Democrats in the past politically, you don't have to go far. Democrats won back the Senate in Reagan's six-year-itch election, spent all their time holding hearings on Iran-Contra, Fawn Hall, Oliver North, Oliver North's security fence. The Iran-Contra hearings got George Bush/Iran-Contra elected in '88.
But 'investigations' by the new 'majority' into the former majority is all you'll get from an outta gas party with no core beliefs. Dems couldn't find core beliefs with both hands and a Gallup poll. That is, if you leave out the part about gay marriage, tax hikes, socialist health care, federally-funded abortion, federally-funded cloning, federally-funded dung-decorated images of the Virgin Mary, legalized kiddy porn, NAMBLA, speech-codes, racial quotas, gun-grabbing, prayer bans and hammering metal rods into trees to kill loggers.
But that's just it. If you're a libbie pol running in a district that's, say, 30% Democrat and 70% Thinking Americans, you know early on if you run on a dudes-marrying-dudes/abortion/civil-rights-for-al-Qaeda platform, most voters beyond your lib whack-job base will bail, so you run to the right of the GOP incumbent. The "Blue Dogs" did just that in many of these squeakers, with the Pelosi/Murtha/Emanual/Soros/MoveOn.org set pulling the strings. A 77k-vote shift in the House, out of 83 mill cast, and Rove would be The Magnificent Bastard still, cranking up that weather machine. Same deal with the Senate. A 4000-vote shift and -- wham -- you've got spotless Harry Reid amending his ethics as benchwarmer.
But you dance with the ones who brung you -- the MoveOn.orgers and George Soros -- so the Blue Dogs, whether fake 'moderates' or not, won't be the ones calling the shots. Soros and co. didn't sink big dough into all of this just to unleash the hounds of moderation.
Anyway, that's...
My two cents
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