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Chuck Norris
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| 11/2/06
Posted on 11/03/2006 8:19:41 PM PST by Flavius
Actor and martial artist Chuck Norris (L) and fellow actor Marshall Teague inspect a 155mm M-109 A6 Paladin howitzer that has Norris' name stencilled on the barrel during a stop on a USO-sponsored tour to boost morale of U.S. troops, at Camp Ar Ramadi in Iraq November 2, 2006. Norris and Teague met with thousands of service members, shaking hands, taking photos and signing autographs in a week-long tour of Iraq and Kuwait. Picture taken on November 2, 2006.
Top Nuck Chorris Facts
1. Nuck Chorris is faster than the speed of sound and quieter than the speed of light!
2. Nuck Chorris is 100% American, except the part that is Mr. Universe.
3. Nuck Chorris is all things to all people, and nothing to some.
4. When Nuck Chorris thinks of an abstract concept, it becomes concrete.
5. Nuck Chorris is a paradox wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside a moldy seven layer burrito!
TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: allyourbase; arebelongtous; troopssupport
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To: LasVegasMac
Ya know, I've been feeling kind of dead ...
61
posted on
11/03/2006 10:22:51 PM PST
by
TigersEye
("Everywhere I go there's a Predator in tow, life goes on without me!")
To: Doohickey
LOL! I'd be checkin for Mr. Norris if I was the boogey man too.
62
posted on
11/03/2006 10:25:34 PM PST
by
SoldierDad
(Proud Father of a 10th Mountain Division 2nd BCT Soldier fighting in Mahmudiyah)
To: TigersEye
This is hilarious. I've never heard of Chuck Norris jokes before....pssst. me neither. don't tell chuck...
63
posted on
11/03/2006 11:05:19 PM PST
by
benjaminjjones
(Assachusetts, land of the "Free 'em All Deval" Patrick & Preverts"R"Us)
To: chet_in_ny
Jack Bauer would kick Norris' a**....causing Bauer's foot to shatter and he would fall to the ground crying like a four year old little girl. Fortunately, he wouldn't have to suffer long. Chuck Norris would fart causing the rest of Bauer's body to burst into flames.
64
posted on
11/03/2006 11:08:11 PM PST
by
USNBandit
(sarcasm engaged at all times)
To: The_Reader_David
2. Chuck Norris *can* divide by zero. I could do that, but if *I* did it, it would cause a disruption in the space time continuem and the End of the World as we know it.
If Chuck does it, it wouldn't dare.
65
posted on
11/03/2006 11:35:34 PM PST
by
El Gato
To: Attention Surplus Disorder
Is the "flash arrestor" (sorry, don't know correct term) on the barrel of that artillery piece eroded or cracked away on the near side? Don't think so. It's a muzzle brake, BTW.
Chuck fires the 155mm from the shoulder, without the muzzle brake. :)
66
posted on
11/03/2006 11:41:32 PM PST
by
El Gato
To: Purrcival
"If an episode of Walker Texas Ranger *changed your life* ... yeeeew might be a redneck." :D
67
posted on
11/03/2006 11:45:21 PM PST
by
mbennett203
("Bulrog, a tough brute ninja who has dedicated his life to eradicating the world from hippies.")
To: Cinnamon
Chuck Norris put the crack in dawn.
68
posted on
11/03/2006 11:56:57 PM PST
by
Atchafalaya
(When you are there thats the best)
To: Atchafalaya
69
posted on
11/04/2006 12:10:30 AM PST
by
Liberty Valance
(Keep a simple manner for a happy life)
To: Flavius
For you Go players and martial artists:
"Chuck Norris ALWAYS wins a Ko Fight!"
70
posted on
11/04/2006 8:25:42 AM PST
by
BradyLS
(DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
To: Squidpup
71
posted on
11/04/2006 8:46:46 AM PST
by
BradyLS
(DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
To: BradyLS
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to music. Music listens to Chuck Norris!
72
posted on
11/04/2006 8:47:49 AM PST
by
BradyLS
(DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
To: Flavius
Chuck Norris doesn't need a big gun with his name on it. Chuck Norris can run faster than the shell and cause 10,000 times the devastation.
To: Cinnamon
46. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Best Chuck Norris line yet!
To: The_Reader_David
Jack Beauer wears Chuck Norris pajamas!
Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups. He pushes the earth *down*!
75
posted on
11/04/2006 10:48:57 AM PST
by
bootless
(Never Forget - And Never Again. And Always Act.)
To: Flavius
Chuck Norris hunting small game. For big game he uses nuclear weapons.
Superman once tugged on Chuck Norris' beard. Once.
76
posted on
11/04/2006 4:57:58 PM PST
by
lowbridge
(Got my own set of keys to the Rovian Weather and Earthquake Machine.)
To: Purrcival
Now I'm hooked. I like that show! My son and I watch - nice to see a show with a manly man who's not afraid to pray.
77
posted on
11/04/2006 6:21:08 PM PST
by
bootless
(Never Forget - And Never Again. And Always Act.)
To: TigersEye
I used to watch Husky and Starch.
78
posted on
11/04/2006 6:34:43 PM PST
by
Old Professer
(The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
To: Cinnamon
If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." Also, "Crushin Rock", "Crush on Rick", "Crush in Cork" "Run Chris Rock" "URCHINS ROCK" "CHINK CURSOR" "CRUNCH OR SKI" and "CHICKS OR RUN", among dozens of others.
79
posted on
11/04/2006 6:35:41 PM PST
by
Lonesome in Massachussets
(The hallmark of a crackpot conspiracy theory is that it expands to include countervailing evidence.)
To: Flavius
CAPTION:
Chuck Norris gives tank a few pointers on how to blow things up.
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