Fake Pollgasms linked to Rats' electile dysfunction -- study
by JohnHuang2
Wow! We just passed 300 million! At exactly 7:46 a.m. EDT Tuesday, the clock rolled over to the big figure -- 300 million times the press has told us Democrats will win back Congress! What an amazing milestone. Press "reports" that Democrats were 'poised to win back Congress' began approximately 8 or 9 seconds after the GOP won back Congress. Twelve years ago. In the fall of '96, Democrats were still 'poised to win back Congress.' In the fall of '98, Democrats were still 'poised to win back Congress,' as they were in the fall of 2000, 2002, and again in 2004. Democrats are now poised to rack up their 6th term of not having won back Congress.
But! The press says Democrats are really fired up this time, like never before -- I guess that's why Air America just filed for bankruptcy. First it was North Korea's nuke, then it was Air America -- that's two bombs from the Left in a week.
Voter turnout for Democrats during this year's primaries amounted to 16%. Armed with this knowledge, the New York Times says "enthusiasm among Democrats is particularly high this year, significantly higher . . . than the intensity of Republicans." They must be basing this on those sterling exit polls.
If you look at it historically, Franklin Roosevelt got his clock cleaned by Republicans in the 1938 midterm. It was the sixth year of his presidency. Popular Dwight Eisenhower got a shellacking from Democrats in the 1958 midterm. It was the sixth year of his presidency. Immensely popular President Reagan lost the Senate in the 1986 midterm. It was the sixth year of his presidency. Yeah, it's a mystery why Bush will lose seats in his sixth year.
Democrats need a net gain of 15 seats in the House in order to usher in world peace, surrender in Iraq, surrender to the Taliban, shut down Gitmo, repeal tax cuts, repeal the Patriot Act, block funding for border control, fund stem cell research, end faith-based programs, draw up articles of impeachment, end climate change, stop Wal-Mart, impeach Bush.
Democrats need a net gain of 6 seats in the Senate to imprint with a rubber stamp whatever junk the House passes and put Bushigula on trial for "spying" on innocent al-Qaeda-Americans, tracking terrorist financing, killing ABM, killing Kyoto, killing the global criminal court, snookering John Kerry with yellow-cake, booting out Saddam and other serious abominations.
With the Nancy Pelosi set in charge in the House, no more suggestive IMs to underage adult ex-pages. It'll be back to business as usual -- raping teenage pages and running gay call-boy prostitution rings from their Washington pads. When Democrats ran the show, then Congressman Gerry Studds (DEMOCRAT-Mass.), who died over the weekend, did a teen page. Democrats praised him for not crossing the line into sending the page "overly friendly" notes. He got a wrist slap. Studds, who wrote a new page in history as the first openly pederast Congressman, turned his back on the House when his "censure" motion was being read. All across America, gay child molesters -- those not castrated -- gave Studds a standing ovation.
(Democrats refer to Studds as a "martyr" -- which means they probably think he's in paradise meeting his 72 virgin teens.)
Democrats couldn't bring themselves even to 'censure' Rep. Barney Frank -- whose boyfriend was running a prostitution ring from Frank's pad. A motion to "censure" Frank failed, even after Harry Reid "amended" the charges from 'sick, sick, sick behavior' to 'mildly ill behavior.'
If you look at the big picture, every prediction that 'Democrats are poised to win back Congress' is based on polls. Nothing new there. Based on polls, Colorado GOP Senator Wayne Allard was declared 'dead' in 2002. He won decisively.
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Polls showed Saxby Chambliss could never beat Vietnam war hero Sen. Max Cleland. Chambliss beat him.
Georgia Gov. Ray Barnes was 'coasting' to reelection in the polls. He lost. Georgia got its first GOP governor since 1872 -- despite very "reliable" polls. Republican Mitt Romney was "too conservative" for one of the most liberal bastions in America. No chance of winning there, according to polls. He won.
DNC honcho Terry McAuliffe said "Jeb Bush is gone!" Payback for 2000. Polls. Jeb Bush won, 56% to 43%. Texas Democrat Senate candidate Ron Kirk won handily in the polls. He lost to John Cornyn at the ballot box. Polls showed Katherine Harris couldn't win in Florida's District 13. Payback for 2000. She won. Polls showed Walter Mondale was a shoo-in for the Senate in Minnesota. Former presidential candidate. Can't lose. He lost. Republican Linda Lingle couldn't win the race for governor of Hawaii, polls showed. She did.
Elizabeth Dole? Polls showed her opponent Erskine Bowles couldn't lose. Former Clinton chief of staff. Businessman. He lost. In Maryland, Democrat candidate for governor Kathleen Kennedy . . . WAIT -- STOP RIGHT THERE. A Kennedy -- lose? Against Robert what's-his-face? She lost.
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Shockingly, polls weren't much better at predicting anything in 2004. Howard Dean's "unstoppable" -- polls. "Electable" Kerry -- polls. Unpopular war. David Kay's "We were all wrong" Senate testimony. Abu-Ghraib. Fallujah. Bush sinking -- polls. Bombings, kidnappings and ambushes in Iraq. Bush sinks further -- polls. TANG documents. Richard Clarke. Report by 9/11 Commission. Al-Qaqaa "missing" explosives. Bush totally sunk -- polls. Bush "loses" 3 debates -- polls. Kerry calls Mary Cheney a "lesbian." Christians vow to stay home, according to polls. Bush and the lesbian's father go on to win the election. Most polls were only wildly off.
Pollsters couldn't even do exit polls of ACTUAL VOTERS right. John Zogby had horseface trouncing Bush in his last projection -- late in the afternoon, Election Day. So, yeah, we can really trust these guys.
Now polls are showing Democrats are revved up and ready to go vote. But even if true, it wouldn't matter since Democrats are still too stupid to know where to vote.
"There is a huge potential for some sort of October surprise," Zogby tells Reuters. There's a huge potential for some sort of November "surprise," too. It's called Republicans winning the elections. The good money is still on the GOP.
Anyway, that's...
My two cents
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