(Iowahawk) IT’S THE HOMOS, STUPID: An Open Letter to the Conservative-American Community

IowaHawk | 10/18/2006 | David Burge

[dighton]

by Dr. Howard Dean
Chairman, Democratic National Committee

Dear Valued Potential Customer:

As the leader of one of America’s premier political parties, I know firsthand the importance of building bridges to the various communities and constituencies we serve. Unfortunately, when serving as many diverse communities as we do at the DNC, sometimes an important relationship can inadvertently fall through the cracks. Frankly, I realize we have not always brought our “A Game” when it comes to the concerns of conservative-Americans. That’s why we would like to take this opportunity to start a dialog with you, the conservative “values voter,” by addressing an issue of vital importance to all of us -- the growing Republican homo menace.

Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, we Democrats know what issues are on the minds of heartland conservatives like you. We know that your number one concern of is the safety of  your children -- whether they are plucking their banjos on the back porch, speaking tongues to snakes at Jesus Camp, or torching crosses at your local Nascar racing contest. We also know that the number one threat to your children’s safety is the scourge of international homo-ism. That’s why we at the DNC have created “The Contract With American Hillbillies,” a new multipoint investigation program to identify and root out conservative stealth homoism before it threatens you or your precious little inbreeds.

Continued . . .

[Beagle8U]

Howling Howard really nailed it this time.

"In the closet, or in the cross-hairs!"

[Yardstick]

*Enthusiastic Bump*

Satire is a potent weapon when done well.

[TChad]

...a Trojan Horse full of purse-swinging black Greek sailors who have turned Washington into Sodom on the Potomac, and Capitol Hill into the Love Shack on Brokeback Mountain.

Another Iowahawk gem. Thanks.

[AmeriBrit]

ROTFLMAOPIMPWTIME....

Thanks, I needed that.

[Popman]

traditional American conservatives like Pat Buchanan, Fred Phelps, and David Duke.

Hello, Fred Phelps is a democrat

[Beagle8U]

"The sad thing is it doesn't sound like satire. I've read a lot worse in the comments on this site"

Sure you have Noob.

IBTZ

[Billthedrill]

Like us, these no-nonsense mainstream conservatives know it's time to bring US troops home where they belong, protecting our children from the clutches of the Republican congressional gay negro NAMBLA mafia.

I think 'Hawk stold this one from a feller who was posting to FR last night...yeah, he was a troll...

[WestVirginiaRebel]

BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Too funny! The sad part is, the Democrats really think this way.

[cripplecreek]

Hmmmmmm

[xmission]

IBTZ

put me down too, just in case...

[redhead]

"My favorite one was where muscle-cars scatter the hackey-sack set, but this one was great, too!"

I dunno...the beauty he wrote about Paradise being overrated (from the perspective of the recently-then-deceased Hamas leader) was an absolute gem...

[Hardastarboard]

While it is no doubt satire, and a good one at that, it does very well capture the Democrats' view of Republicans.

[Beagle8U]

I think it left. It don't reply.

[xmission]

You expect the bible to be used to justify same sex marriage?

[cripplecreek]

I think you're a troll. And if that's a name I'm calling it.

[cripplecreek]

Well it's gone now. LOL

[elcid1970]

"This guy is one of ours."

That's just the point! A normal thinking person in his or her right mind, capable of exercising normal logic and judgement, even if intent on creating the most outrageous satire of the opposing view, will simply fail to do so because of his or her normal nature.

Truth is usually stranger than fiction. Ditsy Dean's actual pronouncements are submitted as evidence. Visit MoveOn and DU. The satire lacks an essential element of pure evil, which IS found in the real words of real leftwingers and their websites.

This satire is great stuff, but it's too harmless and lighthearted to be mistaken for the real thing.

[combat_boots]

Oddly enough, I really can see Dean saying these things.