Posted on 10/11/2006 5:54:36 PM PDT by MoJo2001
The FReeper Canteen is asking all FReepers to please keep 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub in your prayers.
He has suffered a massive stroke and heart attack.
We know that many of you will have questions, but as of right now we don't have any further information.
Thank you
About two weeks ago Brian began refusing all treatment, food and water etc off and on and has now refused all phone calls from family members included. We continued to call off and on and he would take our calls or not as he wished. They had transported him back to the Portland VA hospital in order to tend to an infection he'd had that hadn't responded to the oral antibiotics. The rehab unit could not deliver antibiotics via IV and the doctor did not want to wait as it was going into the weekend so he was transported to the Portland VA hospital where they could deliver the antibiotics and he could be watched 24/7. I spoke with him on Sunday, by Monday after that weekend it was discovered he had a 5-6mm mass (tumor? cancer?) on his colon. He refused ANY AND ALL treatment (including exploratory surgery to see what it is he has). He again began refusing all medications, treatment and again food and water. The doctors contacted me and I was brought up to speed (I'd talked with them on Friday when they sent him from the rehab to the hospital) and now on Monday we were discussing this colon issue and Brian's response to this. They were asking if I could/would be willing to see if I could talk with him, which I agreed to do.
Eventually the doctors called me back and that is when I found out he continued to refuse any treatment. As there was much that could be done medically the doctors and all others concerned held an Ethics Hearing to see if it was ethical for them to let him go as he wished. It was determined that he was capable of making these decisions for himself and they are abiding with his wishes. He was transported to a hospice in Portland where they will make him as comfortable as possible for the time he has left.
Since moving to the hospice he began to sound better and took our calls for a few days and was even getting up and eating meals in the dining room.
Unfortunately that didn't last long and he has now again begun to refuse meals and such. He has also now given orders that he is to get no phone calls and they are not to tell me or anyone anything about his health or medical situation. This is his right and is how he has chosen to spend his last bit of time. I am in touch with the hospice and they are very kind to the family. As they are bound by the law and must abide by his wishes so we will not be able to know any further how he is doing. I have been assured they will do all he will allow to make him comfortable. They will call me when he has passed. I have not the heart to even ask for the address as I know any card will only be refused. He knows we all love him and we all know he loves us and that is what we're going to have to hold close.
There will be no bedside comfort from family at his last moments as is his request. How sad but that is his wishes. Sad too is the fact that two weeks ago the highest honor the Coast Guard gives was awarded to Brian. He doesn't know it and won't take the call from his Coast Guard friend to be told. The submission was entered before he had this stroke and it just came through.
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Here's where we stand as of tonight:
Obviously, his family is devastated. However, prayers from all that love and care about him could penetrate his refusal. We just believe that God is bigger than Mr. Tonkin and therefore, whatever God wants...Mr. Tonkin will just have to get over it.
We have one more option that we're looking into as a sort of last ditch effort to perhaps change his mind. Please pray that this person is receptive and willing to do this on behalf of his family and all of us that love him.
Mr. Tonkin is preparing himself to die and that is extremely difficult for those of us that have known him. Our prayers is that he will open himself up to his family. He shouldn't be alone now. Anyone that knows him...knows how stubborn he can be and when his mind is made up...that's it. Therefore, we need all the prayers we can get on his behalf and for his family.
We're sorry the news isn't better, but we're not giving up on him. And we pray that none of you will give up on him either.
As of now, please do not send cards or letters because we don't have an address and we don't know whether that would just annoy him.
If he doesn't change his mind, he will die alone. That's the bottom line. There's no sugar-coating it.
By the way, thank you to everyone that has bumped this thread throughout the weeks and for those that have sent FReepmails to me. I have read them, but due to a lack of time and family activities--I have been unable to answer individually. Please know that I've read them and my apologies for not getting back to you. Thank you for your prayers, thoughts, and well wishes.
I am so sorry...this must be really hard on YOU as well.
Thank you for the updates..and I certainly will pray that someone can get through to him...he deserves to know about the award..and to have his family with him.
Prayers up Tonk...may God help you to accept the love and company of your family...
sleuth
I am speechless. God bless you.
Prayers continue for Mr Tonkin and his family & friends.
Prayers will continue for him.
How sad to read MoJo. We can pray for his comfort and for his family.
Thank you for the update.
"We just believe that God is bigger than Mr. Tonkin and therefore, whatever God wants..."
Well now, a BIG AMEN to that and tonk.
I am praying for you right now and I have not forgotten to pray for you. So listen.
Prayers for his life and death to be according to God's will. I trust that Mr. Tonkin can discern that better than anyone else. Continued prayers for support of his family's continued love and faith in God and Mr. Tonkin.
He continues to be a brave and strong man. I wish him peace and send him much love.
Thank you for this very sad update. I will continue to pray for Tonk and his family. God Bless you for all that you do!
Jan
Thank you Mojo for that update.
This is hard, I know.
Tonk. Come back. People care about you.
Thank YOU for all you've done.
Tonk is precious to us. Can't exceed the ping quotient.
Thank you, MoJo, for keeping us informed. It must be incredibly hard to type those words. Mr. Tonkin is lucky to be surrounded by such loving, kind and respectful people.
Your frustration is palpable. May God continue to bless Tonk, and all of us who care for him and pray for his comfort.
This is difficult news to hear indeed. All is in God's hands.
Prayers for Brian & his family as well as all who love him.
Thank you for the update MoJo. This is very painful to read and we can only do what Tonk wishes. I think in his mind he is trying to spare all of us the pain and suffering he is going through. That is very much like him and I think you will agree with me on that.
No matter the outcome of his decisions he is a warrior to the end and will always remain so in my mind.
He will forever remain my brother in arms. Fair skies and tailwinds old salt....my prayers are with you and your family.
God bless you honey, for all you do.
I send him my love and prayers.
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