Posted on 09/11/2006 10:39:33 AM PDT by FreeManDC
Wondering about that muffled howl you’ve been hearing the last couple weeks? It’s the sound and fury of feminists reacting to Michael Noer’s latest exegesis, Don’t Marry a Career Woman.
Noer’s column, which ran at Forbes.com, surveyed marriages in which the wives doggedly pursue a high-powered career, all the while neglecting family and home. The research shows these women are more likely to be unhappy if she earns more than the guy, or if she quits her job and stays home. Either way, she’s going to be a grump.
Her husband is more prone to be discontented if she is the primary breadwinner. The house is going to be dirtier. In the end, she is more apt to cheat on him and the marriage will fall apart. [www.forbes.com/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html]
Of course, these findings don’t apply to every ambitious woman who has risen to the top of her field – but the connection is true in many cases.
In practically every woman’s magazine, you’ll find advice columns to help the reader find Mr. Right and then entice her football-addled boyfriend to commit for the long-haul.
But when a male columnist dispenses relationship advice for men, that appears to be strictly verboten — at least according to the Shrieking Sisters of Silliness who cut loose on Mr. Noer.
On Good Morning America, one Rutgers U. prof claimed to be absolutely shocked: “I’m surprised that the man thinks it. I’m astonished that he wrote it. And I’m astonished that anyone published it, particularly Forbes.” (No word whether MIT professor Nancy Hopkins swooned at the news.)
Forbes hastily arranged for reporter Elizabeth Corcoran to pen a response sporting the acid title, “Don’t Marry a Lazy Man.” Describing Noer’s factual article as “frightening,” she dispensed this condescending advice about men: “If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you’ve got a winner.”
Needless to say, Ms. Corcoran’s screed only reinforced the worst stereotypes of the “I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-how-to-get-it” career woman portrayed in Noer’s column.
Thereupon the readers jumped into the fray, all recounting their grudges about members of the opposite sex. A pretty picture it was not, but the debate is long-overdue: http://forums.forbes.com/forbes/board?board.id=respond_marry_career_woman and http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1688730/posts .
Part of the ladies’ discomfiture with Mr. Noer’s article springs from the fact that for the last 30 years, discussions about women in the workforce have been guided by the unspoken rule, “Men’s Opinions Don’t Count.”
But then women’s one-sided conversations lapsed into over-wrought declamations about men who didn’t pitch in around the house, forgetting that that men often put in longer hours on the job, commute longer distances, and do physical labor that leaves them exhausted.
Doesn’t mowing the grass, killing creepy-crawlers that traipse through the kitchen, clearing leaves out of the gutter, and coaching Little League count for anything?
And let’s not forget the old axiom that rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. If women are demanding more rights, then what additional duties – like compulsory registration for the draft — are they going to shoulder?
Ironically, the same day that Michael Noer published his op-ed, columnist Nancy Levant came out with a fem-ripper called The Cultural Devastation of Women. [www.newswithviews.com/Levant/nancy55.htm]
Levant deplored the fact that thanks to the libbers, American women “now hire maid services, landscapers, pool cleaners, painters, interior decorators. . . .while losing every intuitive aspect of our female natures.” In the process, women “use men like ATMs” and “bankrupt multiple men with mandatory child support payments.”
One can only imagine the hullabaloo if Mrs. Levant had uttered such heresy at Forbes.
So what’s a career woman to do? For a moment, let’s can the feminist ideology and take stock of that rare commodity, common sense.
Have you ever seen a woman (or man, for that matter) exclaim at death’s door, “I only wish that I could have spent more time in the office”? Neither have I.
It’s no secret that the most rewarding parts of a person’s life revolve around relationships with spouses, children, and other family. So why are career women driven to dismember those connections that give the most meaning to their lives?
It’s true that women find satisfaction and fulfillment from paid work. And some have no choice but to get a full-time job.
But the reality is, wives’ happiness is not tied to living out of a suitcase or having an equal paycheck with their husbands. Indeed, the opposite is true. When husbands are the primary wage earners, wives have more freedom to pursue their own interests.
So Mr. Noer, lick off those wounds, straighten up that tie, and sharpen your pencil. Get ready for Round Two.
Step one: draw breath and smile, while opening your eyes as wide as you can.
Step two: do the "anime hand clasp." Illustration:
Step three: breathlessly praise your target's manliness or skillz or something.
Congratulations, the testosterone is now coursing through your mark and he will do anything to please you. And hey, he's happy too. Enjoy.
(non PC on) My observations of execs is this. Probably 90% of the male execs have a wife who is either stay at home, or, who has a fairly inconsequential job. Rare to see execs married to other execs. Female execs have "no name" husbands or ones who are indepedently wealthy, are lawyes, doctors or government. Very unusual to see a female exec with a high profile, corporate hubby. The remaining execs are singles or gays, but this remainder group is a minor fraction. (/non PC off)
I think the bottom line is that men want a partner, not a competitor. I've dated such career minded women and they want to 'challenge' you more than be with you.
Man...I'd love to hear what some of the posters on this thread have to say about Michelle Malkin and her family situation...
You're entitled to your opinion. My wife has a Ph.D. and is a very capable manager and has a fantastic career I'm proud of. I could not be any more happily married. Who says it's not a cultural thing ? Why is it/could be miserable ? Because you have to share chores, and handle responsibilities together ?
And here I thought we here in America were all about teamwork and getting it done. You'd rather come home and talk to your wife about what happened on a latest soap opera ? I prefer to ask 'what new and exciting things is your company doing, honey ?'
>As opposed to what...a needy, clingy wife who has no interests other than you?<<
That is how some would describe Robroy's Woman. But she is more. MUCH MORE! And I know that the feelings are mutual.
Over eight years, we're both 52, and the honeymoon aint over. In fact, our relationship gets only stronger.
I imagine they don't like Tom Leykis, either.
God forbid a woman has a passion for something other than disciplining kids, cooking and cleaning huh?
- Amen! Back in the good ole days
You guys are just begging to get b**** slapped aren't you?
If the wrong FR ladies see your comments, you're in for it!
Don't say G.B. didn't warn you!
Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
>>You're entitled to your opinion. <<
My opinion was based on a couple of statements and was not cast in stone. It was reasonable based on the input on which it was based.
I have new input and have adjusted my opinion accordingly. ;)
Mine is still going strong too, I'm 61 and my wife is 53. We've been married since we were babies.
That's a different type of 'career' woman, but she is a 'working' girl.
I wouldn't be able to do that with a straight face. :)
Mrs. randog became a stay-at-home wife a year ago. Every working woman that finds out about our arrangement says one thing to her--"you're so lucky--I wish I could do that".
Uh-huh. And, a man that has *some* self confidence doesn't feel threatened/challenged. So what if they want to 'challenge' you ? That's a good thing. Keeps you focused and your eyes on the ball. I've found that having self confidence to date a very sucessfull, very intelligent woman is *far* more rewarding than dating a english major dropout.
heh, heh. Babies? With a twelve year difference? ;) I know what you mean though. I so wish I had met her when I was a tyke!
HAHA..Great answer!!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.