Posted on 09/11/2006 10:39:33 AM PDT by FreeManDC
Wondering about that muffled howl you’ve been hearing the last couple weeks? It’s the sound and fury of feminists reacting to Michael Noer’s latest exegesis, Don’t Marry a Career Woman.
Noer’s column, which ran at Forbes.com, surveyed marriages in which the wives doggedly pursue a high-powered career, all the while neglecting family and home. The research shows these women are more likely to be unhappy if she earns more than the guy, or if she quits her job and stays home. Either way, she’s going to be a grump.
Her husband is more prone to be discontented if she is the primary breadwinner. The house is going to be dirtier. In the end, she is more apt to cheat on him and the marriage will fall apart. [www.forbes.com/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html]
Of course, these findings don’t apply to every ambitious woman who has risen to the top of her field – but the connection is true in many cases.
In practically every woman’s magazine, you’ll find advice columns to help the reader find Mr. Right and then entice her football-addled boyfriend to commit for the long-haul.
But when a male columnist dispenses relationship advice for men, that appears to be strictly verboten — at least according to the Shrieking Sisters of Silliness who cut loose on Mr. Noer.
On Good Morning America, one Rutgers U. prof claimed to be absolutely shocked: “I’m surprised that the man thinks it. I’m astonished that he wrote it. And I’m astonished that anyone published it, particularly Forbes.” (No word whether MIT professor Nancy Hopkins swooned at the news.)
Forbes hastily arranged for reporter Elizabeth Corcoran to pen a response sporting the acid title, “Don’t Marry a Lazy Man.” Describing Noer’s factual article as “frightening,” she dispensed this condescending advice about men: “If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you’ve got a winner.”
Needless to say, Ms. Corcoran’s screed only reinforced the worst stereotypes of the “I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-how-to-get-it” career woman portrayed in Noer’s column.
Thereupon the readers jumped into the fray, all recounting their grudges about members of the opposite sex. A pretty picture it was not, but the debate is long-overdue: http://forums.forbes.com/forbes/board?board.id=respond_marry_career_woman and http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1688730/posts .
Part of the ladies’ discomfiture with Mr. Noer’s article springs from the fact that for the last 30 years, discussions about women in the workforce have been guided by the unspoken rule, “Men’s Opinions Don’t Count.”
But then women’s one-sided conversations lapsed into over-wrought declamations about men who didn’t pitch in around the house, forgetting that that men often put in longer hours on the job, commute longer distances, and do physical labor that leaves them exhausted.
Doesn’t mowing the grass, killing creepy-crawlers that traipse through the kitchen, clearing leaves out of the gutter, and coaching Little League count for anything?
And let’s not forget the old axiom that rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. If women are demanding more rights, then what additional duties – like compulsory registration for the draft — are they going to shoulder?
Ironically, the same day that Michael Noer published his op-ed, columnist Nancy Levant came out with a fem-ripper called The Cultural Devastation of Women. [www.newswithviews.com/Levant/nancy55.htm]
Levant deplored the fact that thanks to the libbers, American women “now hire maid services, landscapers, pool cleaners, painters, interior decorators. . . .while losing every intuitive aspect of our female natures.” In the process, women “use men like ATMs” and “bankrupt multiple men with mandatory child support payments.”
One can only imagine the hullabaloo if Mrs. Levant had uttered such heresy at Forbes.
So what’s a career woman to do? For a moment, let’s can the feminist ideology and take stock of that rare commodity, common sense.
Have you ever seen a woman (or man, for that matter) exclaim at death’s door, “I only wish that I could have spent more time in the office”? Neither have I.
It’s no secret that the most rewarding parts of a person’s life revolve around relationships with spouses, children, and other family. So why are career women driven to dismember those connections that give the most meaning to their lives?
It’s true that women find satisfaction and fulfillment from paid work. And some have no choice but to get a full-time job.
But the reality is, wives’ happiness is not tied to living out of a suitcase or having an equal paycheck with their husbands. Indeed, the opposite is true. When husbands are the primary wage earners, wives have more freedom to pursue their own interests.
So Mr. Noer, lick off those wounds, straighten up that tie, and sharpen your pencil. Get ready for Round Two.
Heh. I am Mike and I makes da older womens swoon.
Hopefully this confidence is born of God's leading. It is true a strong, confident male is extremely attractive to women. But even more so is a strong confident man who is humbled daily and hourly before God's leading and direction. A man whose strength comes from this strong Godly relationship is pure and utter GOLD STANDARD. The women that find these men know they are truly, truly blessed and will find submission to this a true gift.
I hear you. I love Michelle.
Heh, yeah, I understand that the female types dig the single dad thing.
OK - point out where they are, please :)
What, the single dads, or the females that dig them? I dunno. I just understand that they exist.
Well, I'm 63 and worth over 4 mil and my girl friend won't marry me; she say's it's not enough......'course she's worth the same......
On the day that Free Republic found out that she was married, there was a great disturbance in The Force. Millions of FReepers cried out, as if to say, "Aaaaah, DAMMIT!" and were silenced.
I do go out of my way though to love her children and in little ways let them know not all women dump their children and find them to be articles to throw away at every turn.
Six different nannies for these poor children before they were nine years old. Still the successful executive Mother always is acting as if they ruin her life. Drives me crazy.
These women don't get it do they? Needless to say she HATES Bush. HATES Republicans. HATES the 'Christian right'. She is always stirring the pot with hatefulness in family situations. She goes to church though and it reminds me how clueless and overtaken by evil these 'feminazi' women are, even when it looks as though they are doing the right thing. They are the devil's marionettes.
*my brother dating a French girl,
*multiple hearsay, and
*wild speculation,
I have determined that avoiding European women probably isn't a bad idea either.
LOL.
My guess from that statement (that you think that just because one is a man one deserves something) is that American women would be lucky that you're looking over the ocean for a spouse.
Interesting thoughts. I guess I saw many FReepers making the point that one of the primary roles of the wife was to be primarily responsible for the upbringing of the children. So I thought Malkin's situation, with her husband being the stay-at home-dad, was an interesting one. Still, the article does point out that it can work for some families (i.e. not all couples with a professional woman are doomed to failure).
does he appreciate me for it? NOT A DANG CHANCE!
Bookmark
Nah, I know where the single dad is - he's right here, behind the keyboard...
That only *sounds* dirty.
I guess he is blind and missed the belly dancing outfit.....
I'm glad my husband didn't take this person's advice. I was a career woman who quit work to take care of our 3 kids. I think my hubby is pretty happy. We'll be celebrating our 15th anniversary in a few weeks.
I'm also glad my brother didn't take this advice. Shortly after he got married at 22 to a wonderful woman. He started having problems with terrible skin cancer. My brother rarely worked because of the skin cancer. Instead he became a stay-at-home dad, and his wife had a career.
Two years ago, he died at the age of 48 after 25 years of marriage.
His wife stayed by his side and they managed to raise 2 wonderful children. She never complained during the whole time. She is the VP of her company, and her company absolutely loves her.
We have another friend who has been a career woman, also. Her husband died of colon cancer when he was 40, and she was left raising their 3 boys. Since she had a good career, they have never needed anything financially. So far, the boys are turning out great in spite of not having their dad raise them.
Unfortunately, I also know of 2 other women who lost their husbands when they were in their 30s. Their careers also helped them maintain a household and a sense of normalcy for their kids.
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