Dolphin runs amok off French coast

The Sydney Morning Herald ^ | 08/30/2006 | None Cited

[oxcart]

An enraged dolphin has been terrorising the French Atlantic coast for several weeks, attacking boats and knocking fishermen into the sea.

"He's like a mad dog," said Henri Le Lay, president of the association of fishermen and yachtsmen of the port of Brezellec, in Brittany.

"He has caused at least 1,500 euros ($2,530) worth of damage in the past few weeks."

The dolphin, named Jean Floch, has destroyed rowboats, overturned open boats, flooded engines and twisted mooring lines.

Two fishermen were knocked into the sea after the dolphin overturned their boat.

Jean Floch has been a popular and familiar sight along the coast of Brittany since 2002.

But experts say that he must have been excluded from his group recently to have turned so violent.

According to Sami Hassani, of the Oceanapolis Department of Sea Mammals, "because of their dominant personalities and their sexual maturity, males could become dangerous."

[samm1148]

Would it have been proper to say swims amok? Just asking; there's gotta be a few graduates of the William F. Buckley school of $15 words on line.

[mkjessup]

I move that the new U.S.S. Jimmy Carter (SSN-23) be RE-named the U.S.S. Jean Floch!

Then the French can rename their aircraft carrier Charles DeGaulle after Jimmy Carter.

Then order shall be restored, the losers stick with the losers, and the winners with the winners!

[GOP_Raider]

So THAT's what Ricky Williams does in his free time...

[azhenfud]

I also note they've already surrendered the high seas to Jean Floch.

[HEY4QDEMS]

"He's like a mad dog," said Henri Le Lay


Mad Dog Vachon

[Constitution Day]

Flipper Flips Out

"Flipper died a natural death, he caught a nasty virus."
- Butthole Surfers, "Pepper"

[azhenfud]

"i wonder how many of the french fisherman waved white flags after the first hit by jean floch?"

That's easy. All of 'em.

[Reaganesque]

Arrest the dolphin!! He's doing it on porpoise, you know!

sorry

[TexasCajun]

[azhenfud]

The French are of-fin-ded.

[Past Your Eyes]

[No Blue States]

Even a dpolphin can kick frances ass.

[colorado tanker]

John Kerry should dispatch his swiftboat. His homeland is under attack.

[RegulatorCountry]

"C'est un dolpin ! Nous devons nous rendre et puis collaborer !"

[The Electrician]

I knew it, I just knew that there had to be a downside to dolphin-safe tuna...

[G8 Diplomat]

Maybe he doesn't like the French. Dolphins are very intelligent creatures.

Yes, indeed : D

[GeorgefromGeorgia]

NO French dolphins are surrendering.

[DoughtyOne]

I suggest the French raise the national Flag (white), and negotiate an end to this hostility. It's a well accepted fact that the French can negotiate peace with anyone and anything...

Let the negotiations begin...

[NoFoxholeAthiests]

This dolphin knows that the only sure way to get his 72 virgin dolphins if he wages Jihad. He has plenty of funding and spiritual support from the thousands of local mosques that blanket the French landscape. Though a French national, the dolphin has never really assimilated into French society and he feels that only a complete surrender of France to Shariah law by the sword of Muhammed will suffice. The French government is negotiating with local Islamic leaders who maintain that the attacks will stop if France condemns world Jewry...

[300magnum]

This is from an email, so I can't verify these quotes....

"France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
--Mark Twain

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"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--General George S. Patton

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"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf

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"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
--Marge Simpson

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"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
--Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
--Rush Limbaugh

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"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--Regis Philbin

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"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940's who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
-- John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona

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"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman

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"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada."
--Ted Nugent

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"War without France would be like...like, World War II."
--Jay Leno

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"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
--Tom Brokaw

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"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of it national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
--Dennis Miller

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"It is important to remember that the French have always been there >when they needed us."
--Jon Stewart

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"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qaida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
--Argus Hamilton

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"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day...the description was, 'Never shot...only dropped once.'"
--Rep. Roy Blunt, Missouri

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"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
--Dennis Miller

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"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not known...it's never been tried!"
--Robin Williams

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"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
--Jerry Seinfeld

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The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide."

The only two higher threat levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate."



The rise in the last week's alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their entire military.
-- Jay Leno

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French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris, March 5, 2006

"The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists."

-- Imus In the Morning (MSNBC)

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