Posted on 08/18/2006 1:45:48 PM PDT by nickcarraway
'WOMEN ARE equals now. They can fend for themselves. To offer a perfectly healthy woman a seat simply because she is a woman, however well-intentioned, is creepy. At best, she'll think you're from another country; at worst she'll feel old, or overweight enough to be perceived as pregnant."
And that is a lesson in modern manners, according to the new issue of GQ (with Clive Owen on the cover). Glenn O'Brien and other GQ scribes weigh in on e-mails, cellphones, gym etiquette, dressing for travel, how to handle chatty seatmates, sleeping with your friend's ex, online dating, wedding gifts and how to treat gay people: "Gay people don't want to freshen up the world, they just want to be a part of it." (So don't ask for makeovers and fashion tips.)
Oh, but you certainly should open doors for women: "Why? To be nice, you mannerless ape!"
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
I don't think beautiful women are more slutty than others, and I don't think they're more stupid than others. I do think that they don't treat men as well and don't think as much as other women. Why? Not because they're intrinsically bad, but because they have less incentive to. There will always be more than enough men who appreciate and are nice to them, and more than enough men willing to cut them slack, buy them things, etc. They have less need to develop many things: integrity, independence, intellect, and good social skills.
I know. I didn't say you did. I just said that those were pervasive biases in our culture, that's all.
I do think that they don't treat men as well and don't think as much as other women. Why? Not because they're intrinsically bad, but because they have less incentive to. There will always be more than enough men who appreciate and are nice to them, and more than enough men willing to cut them slack, buy them things, etc. They have less need to develop many things: integrity, independence, intellect, and good social skills.
Not my experience at all, what can I say? I must have fluked into knowing and getting involved with very goodlooking, quality women. I disagree that they are as uncommon as some might suggest.
Only a radical feminist would think negatively about gentlemanly behaviors. The rest of us are grateful.
That's funny as hell. Fits too!!
No doubt better experiences with them lead you to different conclusions. It's probably fair to say that both my bad experiences and your good ones balance out, giving each of us a slightly distorted picture.
I agree that sluttiness and stupidity are images some people have of extremely good-looking women. I doubt it's the image most people have, but I could be wrong. I do agree that these particular slurs are unfair.
Men who show manners are HOT, nuff said. :)
And much good it does them.
I show good manners, but there is no reward for this, nor should one be expected.
You know, I don't think that's it. Most of my experiences with very goodlooking women have been very good. Seems like most of yours haven't been so good. Go figure.
I can't help but laugh at some of the responses here. I'm attracted to manners and intellect. But there's something extraordinary about good manners – such a simple thing – and yet, powerful enough to bring out the best in us.
I'm always nice to people and they are usually nice to me. However, there are some who seem to run away, hide and even gossip without ever trying to talk to me. Should I care about that? I don't think so. I'm a happy person, and I like to keep that way.
I avoid negativity, because negativity attracts more of the same. I like to surround myself with positive, smart, good hearted people. I like to laugh, but I also like serious conversations as well - so it's hard for me to care about shallow, reality-impaired individuals; and frankly, my dear, I couldn't care less about what those who have developed a case of rectal cranial inversion say about me, LOL.
Anyway, a man with manners, is a man worth knowing.
That's certainly true. ;-)
I only don't like it when a guy pushes a woman to the side, gets to the door, and says, "I'm being a gentleman."
I love guys with good manners, and I'm always grateful.
Since I do historical reenactment in the SCA, a lot of this is actually common at events I go to. I did find out last February that men will do anything for a lady who can make doe eyes and is carrying food. Two teenage boys were practicing swordplay, when I asked one to hold my pan of rolls that I was about to bake and asked the other to please take my apron to the kitchen.
After the rolls had burned, a fellow I had never seen before (and have not since) offered to carry the two hot pans back for me.
Are you aware you just gave another woman credit for something a man did...?
Great post and an extra great point! This is one of the great lessons of life, and it amazes me how many people just never seem to 'get it.'
There you go!
I've never encountered that, but it does impress me as unseemly.
I think most women worth knowing like people with good manners. Those that don't, well who cares? ;-)
Gentleman's Quarterly I think.
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